I'm gonna tell you exactly how to do it in this video.
In fact, I'm going to give you, three ways to do it,
So, stay tuned.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney, a narcissist negotiation expert and
on this channel, and in these videos,
I give you exact tips, tricks, real resources,
on how to become the most powerful person,
fearless, when it comes to dealing with narcissists,
if that sounds good to you,
I invite you to subscribe to this channel,
hit that notification bell and stick around.
Okay, how do you become non-reactive?
So, hard, right? So hard.
It's like feels impossible because they just want to trigger you,
that is their main goal,
they know that if they trigger you, then they have you,
that's what they want to do.
Why do they do that?
They do that because… Well, for a number of reasons,
first of all, they enjoy it, they actually enjoy it,
they enjoy watching you become unglued,
it's theater for them, they get narcissistic supply from it,
that's like anything that feeds their ego,
they know they have control over you then,
they know that they still have power over you,
they know that they still can get something from you,
they know that they have that
like spin thing going on over you.
If you get triggered, that's one of the reasons that they do it and
another reason, even more sinister,
even more stealth, even way worse is
because they get you to do things that
they can potentially use against you and
as a lawyer, I'm telling you right now,
in negotiations, it's so much worse,
because it's like getting arrested,
negotiating with a narcissist, is like getting arrested,
anything you can do or say, will potentially be used against you.
So, it's so, so important, because,
anything that you write, anything you put your hand to,
is a potential trial exhibit, or is a potential thing
that they're going to use against you in negotiations,
so, it's really important to become non-reactive in negotiations.
So, how do you do that?
Know who you are, right?
Know who you are.
I love the book, “The Four Agreements”.
It's four agreements you make with yourself and
one of the agreements that you make with yourself,
is you don't take things personally
because the way people treat other people
is always a direct reflection of the way they feel about themselves.
I love the expression “You can't chase every dog that barks”.
I mean, people are always going to be saying things,
you can't take things personally and
I had this teacher one time, it was this meditation teacher,
who said to me “If people say things to you,
just take a listen to it and then decide, is it true?”
If it's true, then clean it up,
Do I need to apologize? What do I need to do?
If it's not true, then just move on.
When people are attacking you and you want to look fearless,
by the way, I have a whole video on that,
called “How to look fearless when a narcissist is attacking you”,
you can definitely check that out.
But, just know your truth, know who you are and
don't defend yourself, by the way,
I have a whole video on that too,
because when you defend yourself,
that's when you're being a victim,
so don't defend yourself, know your truth,
just stand in your power and
that's one way to become non-reactive.
Don't defend yourself, just state your facts and,
you never explain, justify, overshare,
you don't get into the trenches with them,
you just know your truth, state your facts, stand in your power,
So, that's number one.
You don't process things emotionally,
you look at them as a third party observer,
almost like you're watching a tennis match,
or you're watching it happen,
It's not actually happening to you,
you're watching it like there's this glass shield that's happening here and
you're just seeing it happen.
“Oh, I just saw those words come past me”,
“Oh, I just saw them go that direction”,
“I saw that this person said this thing to me”,
“Oh, that's interesting”
“Okay, yeah, uh-huh, that happened”, “I see you”.
So, I'm seeing it happen, I'm seeing it as an observer and
you can even verbalize it to them,
“I see that you're upset, I see that you just said that to me” and
and when you start to verbalize it that way,
you are actually starting to observe it to them and
you're just non-reactive.
I want you to start practicing “I see you”
because it's almost like you're playing tennis and
your volleying it back to them,
I see you, I see you,
you're pushing it back and pushing it back to them,
you're looking at it as an observer,
you're not allowing it to come over to you,
it's not coming to your side of the equation, got it?
You're just looking at it as an observer,
you're not being triggered, you are not reactive.
Never leave your thoughts unsupervised,
it is a constant process,
what your input is, is what your output is going to be.
Obviously, when you're at work, when you are doing things,
you're going to be busy, your thoughts are going to be
whatever your thoughts are going to be
when you're focused on something else.
But when your thoughts have those times of
being able to just think whatever they're going to think,
things like, 40 thoughts a minute, a hundred thoughts a minute,
whatever it is and
a lot of times our thoughts go toward the negative
if we don't train them properly,
so train them, train them properly.
So, how do you do that?
You make sure that you keep your vibrational level high,
good and positive thoughts, joy, happiness, contentment, peace,
those are high, vibrational thoughts,
you want to make sure you keep them high.
So, how do you do that?
You listen to audiobooks, to YouTube videos, podcasts,
whatever it is that you need to listen to
to make sure that those thoughts
are going where they need to go and
you can listen to books that are going to keep you motivated,
keep you positive, keep you energized,
keep you feeling good, whatever it is,
whoever makes you feel good,
makes you feel like I'm ready, I'm good,
this is great because thoughts are just thoughts,
those are just beams of energy that are firing off in your brain,
that's all they are, and
you can rewire them to be whatever you want them to be and
create whatever you want, and
you can literally manifest whatever life you want to manifest,
You just got to reprogram the thoughts, okay?
So that's number three, never leave your thoughts on supervised.
That's how you start to become nonreactive to people and
how you can start to become not triggered
by those crazy toxic people in your life,
which is super critical when you are dealing with them,
when you're negotiating with them,
whether it's a formal negotiation,
or whether it's just a conversation and
you're just communicating with them on a daily basis.
If you are negotiating with them,
make sure to grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
If you like this video, give it a like, give it a share,
drop me that comment.
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Join my free private Facebook group
“Narcissist negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
Don't do this alone, you don't have to do this alone.
They want you to feel like you're alone,
you don't have to do this alone,
support is there, it's here,
I've got the resources for you, they’re totally free,
so take advantage of them, stick around on this channel and
remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will definitely see you in the next video!