- The Sandals Resort in Russia looks
way worse than it did in the brochure.
Nothin' better than bein' barefoot on a gravel beach
with your bros eating live poisonous fish.
(audience gasps)
- It's like a Jell-O shot from Mother Nature.
(audience laughs)
It's time to get into swimsuit shape,
and there's no better way to do that
than by eating one pound of rich, creamy, unsalted butter.
- [Man] Here you go folks,
one pound of grade double-A butter
- Mmmm!
(man laughs)
- Here we go.
- [Man] Ready, three, two, one!
(man shouts and laughs)
- [Man] Come on, eat it.
- Oh, yuck!
(intense music)
- The first half pound is always the hardest.
(woman laughs)
(man groans)
- One of the best things about having a staff
is makin' 'em do whatever the hell I want.
My favorite employee to mess with
is my tour manager, Andrew.
I've been forcing him to eat
unpleasant stuff on camera all season long.
- I'm about to eat one and a half peeled lemons.
(groans)
This is warm bacon flavored soda.
(audience murmurs and laughs)
(audience groans)
- [Tosh] There you go.
Don't stop until it's gone.
Home stretch!
- There's so much sugar and then fake hazelnut flavor.
- This is duck jerky!
No, don't let Castro get it.
(employees laugh)
- [Tosh] Oh god. This is what I was tryin' to get him to do.
- I don't wanna swallow this.
- [Tosh] Come on.
- [Andrew] What is it?
- [Tosh] It's a fig nut press. - Can I just try it first?
- No, no, no.
Big huge bite of it in.
Okay.
(groans)
- That's not good, that's not good.
(audience groans)
(audience laughs and groans)
(gags)
(audience laughs)
- [Tosh] Wanna see somebody eat a chicken head?
(audience groans)
- [Andrew] Doesn't smell good.
(audience gasps and groans)
- Oh!
Alright, slow down!
(audience laughs)
- I'm gonna swallow it!
That's the grossest thing I've ever eaten!
(men laugh)
(chokes)
- My tears are hot.
My tears are burning my eyes.
(audience laughs)
- Pig asshole.
(audience laughs)
(audience groans)
- It's all fat.
- [Tosh] It's called durian.
(audience laughs)
- [Tosh] Pig snout.
- Oh God, I bet that's good.
(gags)
(laughter)
- In the middle of that piece.
Yeah, right in the middle there.
(laughter)
(coughs)
- What was that?
- Oh, is that cow penis?
(crowd gasps)
- That is a long penis.
(laughter)
- And cutting fruit is dangerous.
That's why in my office,
we have a strict new no peeling policy.
- [Tosh] She has enormous teeth though.
I think she's gonna have no problem getting through this.
(laughter)
- Come on, dig it out.
- I don't think his teeth are going to come out.
- Shorter bite!
(laughter)
- I think go the other way.
(laughter)
- [Tosh] Look at him enjoyin' it.
- [Man] Yes!
- [Tosh] Yeah, it's delicious.
(laughter)
- We also added coconut, even though I firmly believe
it's a nut, not a fruit.
(screwdriver drilling)
- What I like to do after I finish full rotation,
put it in reverse,
catch the stragglers.
(laughter)
- Anne Hathaway can do that in half the time.
(laughter)
- Has like four rows of teeth, I think.
(laughter)
- The faster you eat your veggies,
the sooner you can have dessert.
(gadget moving)
(laughter)
(gadget increases speed)
(laughter)