WELCOME BACK.
YOU KNOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BECAUSE IT'S BEEN ALMOST 10
MINUTES SINCE I MENTIONED HIM-- DONALD TRUMP.
HE'S GOT A BIT OF A PROBLEM RIGHT NOW WITH SOME VOTERS.
A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK HE MIGHT BE A RACIST.
AND THEN THERE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T VOTE FOR HIM.
THAT MAY EXPLAIN WHY THIS RECENT P.P.P. POLL HAD HIS
P-P-POPULARITY WITH AFRICAN AMERICAN VOTERS AT 0%.
WHICH CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING: AMROSA IS NOT REGISTERED TO
VOTE.
TRUMP SPENT ONE DAY COURTING THE BLACK VOTE IN DETROIT WITH
FORMER NEUROSURGEON, AND BLACK DILBERT, BEN CARSON.
DR. CARSON GREW UP IN DETROIT AND GAVE TRUMP A TOUR OF HIS OLD
STABBING GROUNDS.
( LAUGHTER ) UNFORTUNATELY, UNFORTUNATELY--
IT WAS A FUN STORY ABOUT SIX MONTHS AGO.
UNFORTUNATELY, BEN CARSON GOT A LITTLE DISTRACTED.
>> IN ORDER FOR OUR COUNTRY TO BE GREAT AGAIN, EVERY ASPECT HAS
TO BE GREAT, INCLUDING OUR INNER CITIES.
>> AND WE JUST SAW MR. TRUMP HERE.
I ASKED HIM HOW DID IT GO?
AND HE SAID GREAT, HE LEARNED A LOT OF THINGS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HE TOOK AWAY FROM TODAY?
>> OH, MY LUGGAGE.
HOLD ON.
>> OKAY, IT LOOKS LIKE DR. CARSON IS GOING TO TRY AND FIND
HIS LUGGAGE, AND HE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH US.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: NOW, IT'S UNCLEAR WHERE DR. CARSON LEFT HIS
LUGGAGE, BUT MY MONEY'S ON INSIDE ONE OF HIS PATIENTS.
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, DONALD TRUMP'S TRIP TO
DETROIT CULMINATED IN HIS VISION AND HIS VISIT TO AN AFRICAN
AMERICAN CHURCH, WHERE HE SAT IN ON A SERVICE AND EVEN SWAYED
AWKWARDLY TO GOSPEL MUSIC.
IT'S HIS SIGNATURE DANCE MOVE: SHIFT A LITTLE LEFT, SHIFT A
LITTLE RIGHT.
SAME THING HE DOES WITH HIS IMMIGRATION POLICY.
( APPLAUSE ) BUT BEFORE THE SERVICE BEGAN,
TRUMP SAT DOWN WITH BISHOP WAYNE T. JOHNSON FOR AN
INTERVIEW THAT WILL AIR NEXT WEEK ON THE CHURCH'S TV CHANNEL.
AND WHILE I HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET, I CAN TELL YOU EXACTLY HOW IT
WENT, BECAUSE THE BISHOP SENT IN WHAT QUESTIONS HE WAS GOING
TO ASK, AND THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN SCRIPTED ALL OF TRUMP'S ANSWERS
IN ADVANCE.
WHICH MEANS IT WASN'T SO MUCH AN INTERVIEW AS IT WAS A PLAY, LIKE
"THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST" WITHOUT ANY OF THE
EARNESTNESS.
OR "LOOK BACK IN ANGER," AND LOOKING FORWARD PRETTY MUCH,
TOO.
OR LIKE "MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING" EXCEPT... ACTUALLY, THAT TITLE
WORKS.
STILL, IT DOES SEEM ODD THAT THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN PRE-WROTE THE
ENTIRE INTERVIEW IN ADVANCE.
HERE TO COMMENT, LIVE VIA SATELLITE, IS TRUMP SPOKESPERSON
JENNIFER ALDERSON.
JENNIFER, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING US.
( APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MISS
ALDERSON.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> GREAT QUESTION, STEPHEN.
YES, TRUMP WAS EXCITED FOR A CHANCE TO REACH OUT TO VOTERS
OF COLOR.
>> Stephen: OKAY, BUT I DIDN'T ASK YOU ANYTHING YET.
>> DON'T BELIEVE THOSE WILD RUMORS, STEPHEN.
MR. TRUMP'S ANSWERS WERE SPONTANEOUS AND OFF-THE CUFF.
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU PLEASE PUT DOWN THE CARDS AND JUST ANSWER
MY QUESTIONS HONESTLY?
>> GREAT QUESTION.
OWLS ARE MR. TRUMP'S FAVORITE BIRDS, BECAUSE THEY LOOK REALLY
SMART, PARTICULARLY WHEN THEY'RE WEARING THOSE LITTLE GRADUATION
CAPS.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WAIT.
LET ME JUST BE CLEAR ABOUT SOMETHING-- I THOUGHT I WAS
GOING TO ASK YOU HIS FAVORITE BIRD.
>> HA, HA, HA.
THAT'S A GREAT LIMERICK, STEPHEN.
I DIDN'T THINK YOU COULD FIND ANOTHER RHYME FOR NANTUCKET.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: OKAY, I'LL TELL
YOU WHAT, LET'S WRAP THIS UP.
CLEARLY, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GIVE ME ANY SPONTANEOUS ANSWERS.
>> WHY WOULD I GIVE YOU ANY SPONTANEOUS ANSWERS WHEN I CAN
JUST READ FROM THIS SCRIPT?
>> Stephen: WAIT, WAIT, DID YOU ACTUALLY JUST ANSWER MY
QUESTION?
>> YES, DONALD TRUMP'S FAVORITE MAMMAL IS THE MANATEE, BECAUSE
IF YOU SQUINT, THEY KIND OF LOOK LIKE MERMAIDS.
>> Stephen: AND IF YOU SQUIRT THEY DO, TOO.
>> WHATEVER YOU WANT!
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS ) THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: LOOK AT THE CAMERA, NOT AT ME.
WE'RE IN DIFFERENT CAMERAS.
DID IT SAY SQUIRT OR SQUINT ON THE CARD?
JUST ANSWER ME THAT.
>> IT SAYS SQUINT.
>> Stephen: TRUMP SPOKESPERSON JENNIFER ALDERSON, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK