( APPLAUSE )
WELCOME BACK!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST IS AN ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM
THE HIT HBO SERIES "SILICON VALLEY."
HE NOW STARS IN THE CBS SITCOM, "B POSITIVE."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH
♪ ♪ ♪
I LOVE THE JACKET.
I HAVE TO SAY.
IT LOOKS NICE AND WARM AND DEEP AND FORESTY.
FORESTY.
>> IT'S A DEEP JACKET.
>> Stephen: IT IS, IT IS, VERY NICE.
>> THANKS.
>> Stephen: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
>> YOU KNOW, GREAT, STELLAR, ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.
PAST FEW YEARS HAVE NO COMPLAINTS.
>> Stephen: THAT'S GREAT, THAT'S GREAT.
LISTEN, YOU ACTUALLY-- YOU DID SOMETHING THAT I REALLY ADMIRE,
AND I-- I AM KIND OF MOVED BY EVERY TIME I HEAR ABOUT SOMEBODY
DOING IT.
YOU, SIR, SINCE THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO YOU, HAVE BECOME A
UNITED STATES CITIZEN RIGHT THERE.
( APPLAUSE )
INSIDE YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
TO DO THAT-- THAT'S REALLY LOVELY.
I HAVE A SOFT SPOT IN MY HEART FOR THE PEOPLE WHO CHOSE THIS
PLACE.
>> YEAH, NO, IT WAS-- IT WAS-- IT WAS A SPECIAL MOMENT.
I ACED THE TEST, WHICH IS PRETTY COOL.
>> Stephen: COOL.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THERE IS A TEST, RIGHT?
>> YEAH, THERE IS A TEST, AND THEY ASK YOU QUESTIONS.
>> Stephen: LIKE, "WHO IS THE 16th PRESIDENT?"
>> THAT'S WAY TOO HARD FOR THE TEST.
>> Stephen: WHO IS ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
>> IT'S LIKE "NAME ONE STATE."
UH, DELAWARE.
>> Stephen: HOW MANY QUESTIONS ON THE TEST?
>> THERE ARE 10.
>> Stephen: WOW.
>> THERE ARE 100 THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW, AND THEY'LL ONLY ASK YOU
10, AND I THINK IF YOU GET SIX RIGHT IN A ROW, THEY'RE LIKE,
"GOOD ENOUGH."
>> Stephen: WOW, WOW.
>> YEAH, BUT IT WAS PRETTY COOL.
IT WAS DURING COVID, SO THE CEREMONY TOOK PLACE OUTSIDE, AND
EVERYONE WAS ADEQUATELY SPACED.
>> Stephen: SURE.
HOW MANY PEOPLE IN YOUR GROUP?
>> I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE ABOUT 30 OR SO.
AND, YOU KNOW, THEY-- IF YOU TAKE THIS PLEDGE, AND, YOU KNOW,
I CAME FROM CANADA, SO IT JUST-- LIKE, MY BIGGEST PROBLEM WAS,
LIKE, IT TOOK A WHILE.
BUT, YOU KNOW, FOR SOME PEOPLE THEY'RE IN TEARS BECAUSE WHO
KNOWS WHAT JOURNEY THEY HAD TO GET THERE.
AND IT JUST-- IT WAS A PROFOUND MOMENT OF LIKE, WOW.
FOR SOME FOLKS, AMERICA IS-- NO PLACE IS FLAWLESS, BUT FOR A LOT
OF PEOPLE, IT'S LIKE THAT WILLIE WONKA GOLDEN TICKET OF NOW MY
LIFE IS GOING TO CHANGE DRAMATICALLY.
AND THAT WAS-- THAT WAS SPECIAL TO BE --
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT NATURALIZATION CEREMONIES.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: DO YOU FEEL-- FIRST OF ALL, WELCOME ABOARD.
>> THANKS.
>> Stephen: I WISH I HAD A WHISTLE.
>> OH, I BOUGHT 50 GUNS.
I...
( LAUGHTER )
FROM UNDERNEATH THE WINGS, HAD A FORD TRUCK.
AS TED NUGENT WAS LIKE ♪ I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN
WHERE AT LEAST I KNOW I'M FREE ♪ WHOEVER SINGS THAT.
>> Stephen: LEE GREENWOOD.
THAT'S ON THE TEST.
IS THAT NOT ON THE TEST?
>> OH, NO!
GOOD THING I DIDN'T GET THAT QUESTION.
>> Stephen: WHY DID YOU WANT TO BE AN AMERICAN?
>> I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT ON THE TEST.
>> NO, JUST BECAUSE-- WELL, YOU KNOW, I'D BEEN HERE SO LONG
THROUGH WORK VISAS AND GREEN CARDS.
THE BIG JUMP IS TO FINALLY, YOU KNOW, TAKE PART IN YOUR
DEMOCRATIC PROCESS.
I COME FROM CANADA.
WE HAVE DEMOCRACY THERE.
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND, I UNDERSTAND.
>> BUT IT WAS JUST-- IT'S JUST SORT OF-- IT JUST BECOMES MORE
OFFICIAL AND YOU KIND OF GET TO TAKE PART.
>> Stephen: DID YOU HAVE TO RENOUNCE, YOU KNOW, RYAN GOSLING
OR ANYTHING?
DO YOU HAVE TO RENOUNCE-- >> AND WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
TRUDEAU?
I HATE HIM, GOOD.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU A DUAL CITIZEN NOW?
>> I AM.
>> Stephen: OH, WOW.
>> SO I CAN ESCAPE UP NORTH WHEN THE WATER WARS COME, BROTHER.
I'M GOING TO HAVE ALL THE FRESH DRINKING WATER YOU CAN HAVE.
>> Stephen: DO YOU SAY THOSE CANADIAN-- HOW DO YOU SAY THAT
WORD?
>> ABOUT, STEPHEN.
( APPLAUSE )
BIN.
>> Stephen: YOU HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT.
YOU WERE GOING TO SEE BEAM.
>> NO.
DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT ONE, TOO.
PAST-A.
>> Stephen: I'LL SPEND TIME HERE AND GO BACK TO MY HOME TOWN
AND GO, "YOU GUYS SOUND CRAZY.
Y'ALL SOUND CRAZY AROUND HERE.
>> Stephen: YOU SUPPORTED BERNIE SAND SANDERS IN 2020, BUU
COULDN'T VOTE.
IS IT BERNIE 2024?
>> I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE I'M GOING TO SEE "NIGHT OF."
I'M GOING TO CHECK OUT-- COME AROUND WHEN THEY'RE DOING THE
BIG DRAMATIC MUSIC OF DA-DA-DA, 2024 ELECTION!
AND WHO WILL BE IT BE, POTTER.
THAT DUDE-- OR LADY.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
>> GEEZ, I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: THAT WAS VERY CLOSE THERE.
>> I'M TAKING A STEP BACK, YOU KNOW.
BEING PLUGGED IN ALL THE TIME TO WHAT'S GOING ON, IT FEELS WEIRD
LIKE A BIG CONTRARY STATEMENT TO WHAT THE UTTERED BY THE GUEST
BEFORE-- "PAY ATTENTION, DEMOCRACY."
IT'S SCARY.
EVERYONE IS TWISTING EACH OTHER'S ARMS AND PULLING EACH
OTHER'S HAIR OUT.
I'M TIRED OF IT.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING UP WITH THE NEWS LATELY?
>> NOT IF THEY HAPPEN ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
I'M OUT OF THERE.
>> Stephen: ME, NEITHER.
>> IT'S CRAZY.
>> Stephen: EVERYTHING IS FINE BY THE WAY.
>> IS IT?
WHAT ARE THE BIG HEADLINES?
>> Stephen: THERE AREN'T ANY.
A BUNCH OF MORNINGIES WERE IN AN ACCIDENT IN PENNSYLVANIA, BUT
THEY CAUGHT THEM ALL, A BUNCH OF MONKEYS.
LET'S GET TO THE MEAT HERE.
YOU ARE STARRING IN THE CBS HIT SITCOM "B POSITIVE."
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: SECOND SEASON.
>> YEAH.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: AS SOMEONE-- AS SOMEONE RIGHT HERE-- LET ME
SPEAK FROM THE HEART, AS SOMEONE WHO AS A YOUNG ACTOR AUDITIONED
FOR 1,000 SITCOMS AND COULD NOT GET ARRESTED -- THOUGH I GOT
CALLED BACK FOR "ALLEY McBEAL--" WHAT IS IT LIKE TO
STAR IN A SITCOM, IT'S A SWEET RIDE, RIGHT?
>> I WILL SAY THIS FIRST AND FOREMOST, EVERYONE ON THE SHOW
IS A TREAT TO WORK WITH.
ANNALEIGH ASHFORD IS A JOY.
.>> Stephen: AND YOU GET TO WORK WITH EXTRAORDINARY LEGENDS
ON THAT SHOW.
BEN VEREEN!
>> BEN VEREEN.
>> Stephen: BEN VEREEN!
( APPLAUSE )
ECCENTRIC.
HE'S GOT THIS WONDERFUL LITTLE HAT THAT HE WARES THAT SAYS,
LIKE, "MINISTER OF FUN."
THE FIRST TABLE READ WE WERE AT, WE WERE ABOUT READY TO READ THE
SCRIPT AND EVERYONE WAS CHATTING AND THE ASSISTANT DIRECTOR IS
LIKE, "I SHOULD PROBABLY GET THINGS GOING."
AND BEN VEREEN QUIETLY TAKES OUT THIS LITTLE RECORDER AND GOES
DO-DO-DO-DO.
AND EVERYONE IS LIKE WHAT?
AND WE ALL QUIETED DOWN.
AND HE PUT HIS RECORDER AWAY.
AND AT ASSISTANT DIRECTOR WAS LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, LET'S HAVE A
THE TABLE READ."
AND WE WERE LIKE, GOOD.
HE QUIETED US DOWN WITH HIS MAGICAL FLUTE.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A PRO.
THAT'S A PRO.
>> HE IS AMAZING.
>> Stephen: THOMAS, IT WAS LOVELY TO SEE, THANKS FOR BEING
HERE.
>> THANKS.
>> Stephen: NEW EPISODES OF "B POSITIVE" AIR THIS THURSDAY
AT 9:00 P.M. ON CBS.
THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH, EVERYBODY WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪ ♪ ♪