It's time for volume eight of
When Animals Fight Back
Ahhh, the pool.
There's nothing more relaxing than spending quality time
With your missus
In the pool
In the dark
While being watched by night vision cameras.
Awh yuck! What is that?!
It's a crocodile ninja slithering in for a swim
And he's in!
Pool claimed!
Look at this wanker ditching the misso to save himself!
This random bloke comes in
He tries to help
But gives the situation a big
Yeah, Nah.
I don't blame him
I mean
Who wants to get
In the water with a crocodile?
Snappy, snappy bastards.
This sheila
Has mistaken an elephant for a lounge suite.
It doesn't look very comfy.
I don't know how you'd do that.
The elephant's like
"Awh Yeah Nah"
"Nah I'm not a couch"
And ejects her off his face.
Wowee, here's a bloody spectacle!
Blue shirt and sandals bloke is having
A crap-tastic day
He's tried to help the geese cross the road
Now the dad goose has knocked him
Ass over Tea Kettle
I'm more concerned about this little prick
Trying to get up the curb.
Oi Daddy Goose
How about instead of beating up a human.
For his crimes against fashion.
Ya help your $hitstain offspring up the curb.
Talk about misdirected anger.
Oh you got up the little fella well done that's good.
No thanks to your dad,
Who wants to rage quit
This entire house move.
He's like "I told you it'd be dangerous, Phoebe"
"I should have turned this flock around!!!"
Kayaking's a fun thing to do,
It's a leisurely recreation
"OH MY GOD!!"
"WHY DID HE DO THAT"
NAH THAT'S THE SINGLE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN.
Look at him struggle!
You know what, good!
He deserves it!
Good!
Bite him!
Sting him!
Whatever the phuck you are!
You little flying bugs!
Get him!
You know I try...
To give people the benefit of the doubt in life.
I do, I'm like "I'm sure they had their reasons"
"blah, blah, blah, etcetera, etcetera"
I can't do it!
I can't do it today!
What a f*%ckin' idiot!
Three
Two
One
Whacky whack!
Horn to the face
I mean, all this Sheila had to do,
Was read the sign.
Beware of Moe's Horns.
But Cat Mum did the opposite.
She ignored it-
Well-
I guess in the end she became
Aware of Moe's horns actually.
Naw, look at these reprobates.
Trying to get a photo of this elephant
For social media.
They're hungry for likes and comments
DOWWHARHH!!!
Ahue huehuehue huaarrghh
The elephant says:
"Don't tag me in that!"
"You didn't get my permission"
"You didn't get my best side"
"Let me do it myself"
"I prefer to do a selfie myself"
"Pass me the camera, I'm good at them"
"Actually are you the same phuck knuckles"
"That thought derek was a couch?"
"I think you were"
BAAAMMMM!!!
"I hit you again!"
Here's a horse.
Practicing his hammer throw
For the Animal Olympics
Spinny, spinny, spinny,
Spinny, spinny, spinny, spinny
Spinny, spinny, spinnyyyyyyy
Bango!!
Right into the camera woman!
She shouldn't have been filming
His secret training routine.
I mean what if it leaks
And a Moose from
The Canadian squad
Learns his throwing techniques.
Or a Panda from Team China.
Or a Bear from Russ- You get the idea.
What is this boofhead doing?
He's bothering a leaf
or a toad?
Or a frog?
What is?
AOOHWWHH!!
FFAARRRKKK!!!
It's a snake!
What?!
Run awa-hay
All right, tuuurns out
Poking a Python, in the schnozza
With a stick
Is a bad idea.
Good!
Good, good, good!
We've learned something here today!
Everyone!
We've learned not to poke-
Deadly Animals-
In the Nose-
With a sticky stick.
Or whack a hive
Of whatever the F*CK
These bugs were
With an oar.
That's great I love it,
When my videos are educational.
These swans are like
"You've dipped into the wrong brown water my friend"
And have begun to advance
On Aquaman's Retired Uncle.
But don't worry his strategy of acting
Like an aquatic whack-a-mole
is working!
Kind of...
Maybe. No, it's not.
That swan is advancing
At an alarming rate
He's just bobbing up and down
In the same spot!
Swim! Ya dickhead!
Ah nah ye he actually gave the swan the slip!
How long can he hold his breath for?
Phuck me it's working!
He's out smart-
Nahh, no, Never mind
He's chomped on a piece of ear, that Goose!
And now the guy's back,
Yeah that's f*cked.
Nup.
Yeah, I'd say just swim away from the outset.
In future, panic earlier.
Another lesson.