Watch this now to stop struggling with feelings of worthlessness.
I'm Dr. Paul Jenkins a professional psychologist and to get this you first need to understand
what's causing those feelings and it's not what you think and then I'll give you a practical
challenge that you can try for five days. Okay, actually, I said earlier that it's not what you
think it is but it is what you think. I'm inviting you for a moment to turn on your metacognition.
Metacognition simply means thinking about thinking. Think about your own thinking for a moment.
Be aware of what's going on in your mind as I call some things to your attention. It is what you think
that causes feelings of worthlessness. Now, to make a distinction really quickly, thoughts and feelings
are not the same thing. Sometimes people tell me, "Well, I just feel like I'm not worth anything",
that's not a feeling that's a thought and it causes a feeling, the feeling is worthless.
Usually, here's a rule of thumb. If it's one word sometimes two but usually one, it's a feeling.
If it's a sentence or a story or a narrative it's a thought and what we know from the field
of cognitive psychology is that thoughts create feelings. So, it actually is what you think that's
causing the feelings of worthlessness. Now, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret in psychology.
The number one belief or thought that causes feelings of worthlessness
is that worth can change. Meaning, personal worth, My worth is a human being, it can change.
It can go up, it can go down. This surprises some people because you would think that feelings
of worthlessness are that, "Oh, my worth is not very high", yes, but that implies that that worth
can change. If it can go up or if it can go down. This is what we call a depressionogenic thought.
Now, I'm throwing all this psychology at you so that you can understand where it's coming from.
Worth or human value is fixed. That's a thought too but I'm just suggesting an alternate thought
for you here for a minute. If it can't change then there's no way I can drive it up or drive it down
because it's fixed. What does that change for you? If you were to believe that your worth as a
human being can't change, it's fixed permanently. That would change some things when we believe
that it can go up or down. We spend all of our time trying to make sure that it goes up and
realizing that it never is as high as it could be. That leaves us feeling inadequate or worthless and
it's tied to that line of thinking. I've developed a model that helps us to see what's actually going
on with our thinking. It is a visual model that breaks our thinking into two categories evaluation
and creation. I'll even give you a copy of this model. Just go to the URL that's right there on
the screen drpauljenkins.com/themodel and I'll send you a pdf copy of this so that
you can have the visual that I'll be referring to occasionally as we talk about your thinking.
Now, let's go to evaluation mode for a minute. Evaluation means judgment and your brain is
always doing this, you can't turn it off. Just notice that you're constantly judging yourself,
your circumstances, your family, the economy, the government, you're judging me. That's cool I'm
judging. You we can't turn it off. It's just part of what our brain does. Judgment or evaluation
implies a comparison with some standard. So, if I ask myself okay, how am I doing? Well, compared to what?
According to what standard? So, go back to what I already shared with you about that belief that
depressionogenic belief that my worth or my value can change. It can go up, it can go down.
How am I doing? How worthy or worthwhile am I?? Well, compared to what? Now, notice that you can
always imagine something better. You can also imagine something worse. What you compare it
to determines how you feel. So, if we know that our worth is fixed, how am I doing? Well, I'm right here
always. My worth and I like to put it at this this value too is great because I believe that,
about you, about every human being on this planet. The human value is great, period, okay. It can't go up
it can't go down. Now, we can do things to affect our experience and every choice has a consequence
that's not what we're talking about here today. What we're talking about is that human life
value and it is great for everyone on the planet. There you go, problem solved. To fix this problem
it's not that we think less of ourselves. We just think of ourselves less. We shift our focus
to the rich abundant life that we enjoy without any question of our worth because it's already
fixed. If it can go up and down then we've got a rat race to go chase. But if it's fixed we can
lay that aside and start focusing on all of the other rich abundance that we experience
on a daily basis in our lives. Try that out. Now, I've got a five-day challenge for you
and this has two parts to it. The two parts that I'm referring to go back to the two processes
that are going on in our brain that's represented on the model I promise to send you. Remember,
drpauljenkins.com/themodel I'll send you a copy of this. In evaluation,
we're going to do one particular challenge and in creation, we're going to do the other.
So, those are the two parts of our five-day challenge. Let's start with the evaluation one,
gratitude. I call this the gratitude power-up. Just remember twenty-five-five. Now, five is for
the five days we've already got that down. This is a five-day challenge. The 25 is your gratitude
list and don't repeat anything on tomorrow's list that's on today's list. 25 items each day for five
days you write them down on a list things that you're sincerely grateful for and don't make it
up you have to actually be grateful for it for it to make your list. You with me? Now, here's what
powers it up? At least half of your list every day that's 13 if you're doing the math. At least half
of your list every day is about the hard stuff. Something that is difficult, painful, frustrating,
challenging. Now, this is where I lose some people because it might, you might be thinking, "Well, what
is there to be grateful for in that?", which is a pretty good question but it's not a question in
this case. It's a statement disguised as a question. Do you hear the exclamation point? What is there to
be grateful for in that? Put a question mark back on it, what is there to be grateful for
in that and that is whatever's difficult, painful, frustrating, hard, for you right now.
Let's say you have a diagnosis or a condition or your bank account is empty or the weather
is bad, whatever it is. What can you find in that hard thing that you're sincerely grateful for?
You put that on the list. I have found gratitude in some of the most painful experiences in my life
including injuries, diagnoses, bankruptcy. There's always something to be grateful for. In the
gratitude power up we're inviting our brain to focus on and to find for us what we're grateful
for in the difficulty. This will change the game. Do it for five days, okay, you in? Awesome. Here's the
second part to your five-day challenge, I call it BB8, kind of like that little droid from Star Wars.
But that'll just help you to remember it. How sure are you that eight o'clock is coming? Hmm...
it's coming. You're pretty sure, aren't you? How sure are you that you'll be around for eight o'clock?
Almost as sure. Now, you've made it to every eight o'clock so far your whole life so
you've got a really good track record. I'm guessing you're gonna be around for eight
and there's only two possibilities. I don't think it's possible for things to be exactly the same
at eight o'clock as they are right now because at the very least you're gonna be a little older.
You might be more hungry, more tired. I don't know depends on what you did just before eight
but things aren't gonna be exactly the same. Because of that by your own evaluation one of
those thought processes I taught you about which you can't turn off. Things have to be either better
or worse at eight o'clock by your own judgment. So, BB8 you're gonna do this for five days, okay,
is that you find some little thing or it could be a big thing that's up to you. Something that
you could do to make your life better by eight. Now, what's your brain doing? It's coming up with some
ideas, right? You've got this brilliant imagination where you can come up with ways to make your life
better and it doesn't have to be huge it can be but it doesn't have to be and if you'll do this
challenge for the same five days as you do the gratitude power up you get to have ten upgrades to
your life. Because there's two eight o'clock every day if you haven't noticed if you don't get up early.
How does that feel? This is how we generate hope. Those feelings of worthlessness are going to
go bye-bye as you train your thoughts to follow these principles, they're powerful. Remember, if
you haven't done it yet go grab your copy of this model. I'll send you a PDF right to your inbox just tell me where
to send it drdrpauljenkins.com/themodel and it's on its way.