>>> NO FAMILY THINKING IT'LL
HAPPEN TO THEM.
NANCY AND JOE WERE NO EXCEPTION.
THEY WERE THE PICTURE OF THE
ALL-AMERICAN FAMILY, WITH THE
WHITE PICKET FENCE, LOVING
FAMILY OF SIX.
MOM, NANCY, A YOUTH MINISTER.
FAMILY TIME WAS ALWAYS A
PRIORITY.
IT FELL APART WHEN THEIR SON
TURNED TO ALCOHOL AND DRUGS IN A
REMARKABLE, REMARKABLE CYCLE AND
STORY.
WATCH.
>> I NEVER LONGED FOR ANYTHING
GROWING UP.
I HAD A GREAT FAMILY.
SUPPORTIVE, TIGHT-KNIT FAMILY.
>> MY HUSBAND AND I WERE THE
KINDS OF PEOPLE THAT WE WOULD BE
AROUND ON THE WEEKENDS.
WE HAD FAMILY DINNERS AT NIGHTS.
WE WOULD SPEND TIME VISITING
RELATIVES.
THAT WAS VERY IMPORTANT.
WE WERE VERY INVOLVED IN OUR
CHURCH.
>> I FELT DIFFERENT THAN OTHER
PEOPLE.
I NEVER NECESSARILY FELT LIKE I
FIT IN.
I WAS PROBABLY AROUND 12 OR 13,
AND I DRANK A CORONA WITH A FEW
BUDDIES OF MINE.
I REMEMBER DRINKING IT AND
FEELING LIKE IT WAS THIS COOL,
GREAT, EXCITING THING.
>> LET HIS SCHOOLWORK GO.
HE DIDN'T GET HIMSELF INVOLVED
IN SPORTS OR ANY OF THE THINGS
HE WAS DOING THAT WERE POSITIVE.
IT WAS LIKE CHIPPING AWAY BY
INCHES.
YOU COULD JUST SEE HIS LIFE
DIMINISH.
HIS DRUG USE, ALCOHOL USE, BEGAN
TO INCREASE.
>> I NEVER WANTED TO DO DRUGS.
I HAVE MY PARENTS TO THANK FOR
THAT.
FROM A YOUNG AGE, THEY DRILLED
IT INTO MY HEAD, THAT DRUGS WERE
BAD.
AT SOME POINT IN COLLEGE, I HAD
BEEN DRINKING ONE NIGHT, AND ONE
OF THE GENTLEMAN I WAS HANGING
OUT WITH SAID HE COULD GET A
PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION.
I THINK BECAUSE OF MY INEBRIATED
STATE, I THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO
TAKE ONE.
I REMEMBER THAT NIGHT
DISTINCTLY.
WHEN I TOOK IT, IT HIT ME.
I WAS, LIKE, HOW HAVE I NEVER
DONE THIS BEFORE?
I FELL IN LOVE.
>> OUR SON STOLE FROM US.
OUR SON LIED.
HE DIDN'T DO SCHOOLWORK.
TOOK THE CAR WHEN HE WASN'T
SUPPOSED TO.
WE HAD TO HIDE THE KEYS.
IT WAS LIKE THIS BRUTAL
PING-PONG MATCH OF -- OR
CHECKMATE.
>> WHEREVER THE NIGHT TOOK ME,
I'D FLOAT.
I'D WAKE UP THE NEXT MORNING
WITH A SUMMONS TO COURT OR A
SMASHED CELL PHONE OR, YOU KNOW,
SOME WEIRD PLACE, MISSING
EVERYTHING.
MY SHOES ARE GONE.
I COULDN'T TELL YOU WHAT
HAPPENED.
MOST INDIVIDUALS INSTINCTIVELY,
YOU LONG FOR SHELTER, LOVE.
WHEN SOMEONE IS ADDICTED TO
DRUGS OR ALCOHOL, THAT'S
OF FOUR LIVING WHAT LOOKED TO BE
THE PERFECT SUBURBAN LIFE.
THEIR FAMILY WAS BATTLING A
MONSTER.
THEIR SON, JP'S, ADDICTION TO
DRUGS AND ALCOHOL.
WE WRITES IT IN A BOOK SHE
CO-AUTHORED WITH HER SON,
"UNCHAINED: OUR FAMILY'S
ADDICTION MESS IS OUR MESSAGE."
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU.
>> A LOT OF KIDS START DRINKING
IN THEIR TEENS, EVEN YOUNG
TEENS, AND PARENTS THINK, OH, I
DON'T LIKE THIS, BUT IT IS A
RITE OF PASSAGE AND YOU DON'T
KNOW.
YOU THINK MAYBE IT'S JUST SORT
OF -- THEY'LL DO IT HERE OR
THERE.
THEY'LL BE FINE.
WHEN DID YOU KNOW, NO, NO, NO,
THERE'S A PROBLEM?
>> I THINK ABOUT JP'S SOPHOMORE
YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL.
HE REALLY STARTED TO LOSE
INTEREST IN WHAT HIS LIFE HAD
BEEN.
HE WASN'T INTERESTED IN SCHOOL
ANYMORE.
HE WASN'T INTERESTED IN
PARTICIPATING IN AFTERSCHOOL
ACTIVITIES.
HE WAS PULLING AWAY AND
WITHDRAWING FROM OUR FAMILY
ACTIVITIES, WHICH WAS ALWAYS
LIKE A BIG PART OF OUR LIFE AS A
FAMILY.
HIS ATTITUDE STARTED TO GET VERY
CONFRONTATIONAL.
>> YOU STARTED -- YOU DID ALL
SORTS OF THINGS.
SUMMER WILDERNESS PROGRAM.
YOU DID ADDICTION PROGRAMS.
YOU DID BOARDING SCHOOL EVEN.
>> YES.
>> HE WAS CAUGHT DRINKING
LISTERINE TO GET HIGH.
>> IN BOARDING SCHOOL, YEAH,
WHICH WAS A TURNAROUND BOARDING
SCHOOL.
IT WAS A PLACE KIND OF AIMED AT
HELPING PEOPLE GET THEIR
FOOTING.
HE SORT OF RALLIED IN THAT, AND
THEN IT KIND OF UNRAVELLED.
>> ANYBODY WHO HAS HAD ADDICTION
IN THEIR FAMILY KNOWS IT IS LIKE
HAVING A NUCLEAR BOMB GOING OFF.
IT DOESN'T JUST AFFECT THE
ADDICT BUT EVERYONE.KNOW, THEY
HELP, HELP, HELP.
UNTIL ALL YOUR HELP WASN'T
REALLY HELPING AT ALL.
>> WELL, WE GOT A LOT OF HELP
FOR US TO BE ABLE TO GET TO THAT
POINT.
ON MY OWN, I'M HELICOPTER
MOTHER.
I'M A MUSH.
BUT WE SOUGHT THE HELP OF
COUNSELORS AND PROFESSIONALS AND
PEOPLE IN RECOVERY SUPPORT
GROUPS, FAMILY MEMBERS, WHO
TAUGHT US THE ROPES OF TOUGH
LOVE.
>> TOUGH LOVE.
I KNOW YOU HAD TO FOCUS ON THE
LOVE PART OF TOUGH LOVE TO GET
YOURSELF TO DO IT.
WHAT DID THAT INVOLVE?
>> FOCUSING ON THE LOVE PART?
>> TOUGH LOVE.
>> OH, THE TOUGH LOVE.
>> FOR YOU, WHAT DID IT MEAN?
>> ONCE THINGS REALLY GOT BAD AT
HOME, WE HAD OUR SON ARRESTED.
WE STUCK WITH THE CHARGES.
THEN HE DECIDED TO GO TO
TREATMENT FOR THE FIRST TIME.
WHEN HE GOT OUT OF TREATMENT, WE
SAID, YOU HAVE TO STAY --
TREATMENT WAS DOWN IN FLORIDA.
WE SAID, YOU HAVE TO STAY IN
FLORIDA.
YOU CAN'T COME HOME.
YOU'RE GOING TO GO TO A HALFWAY
HOUSE.
IF YOU DON'T GO TO A HALFWAY
HOUSE, YOU'RE GOING TO BE
HOMELESS.
WE REALLY HAD TO ENFORCE THAT.
>> YOU HAD YOUR OWN SON
ARRESTED.
HOW DID THAT FEEL?
>> IT WAS VERY HARD TO DO.
AS I SAID, WE HAD A LOT OF
SUPPORT AND HELP IN ORDER TO BE
ABLE TO DO THAT.
BECAUSE IT IS COMPLETELY -- WHAT
TOUGH LOVE IS, IS COMPLETELY
AGAINST YOUR WIRING AS A PARENT.
>> YEAH.
>> IT IS EVERYTHING YOU KNOW AS
A PARENT, THROW THE BOOK OUT.
BUT FOR ME, SOMEONE SAID TO ME,
THE CHRISTMAS JP WAS HOMELESS,
CALLING US EVERY DAY IN FLORIDA,
WE HADN'T SEEN HIM FOR SEVEN
MONTHS, HE WAS ASKING US TO WIRE
HIM MONEY.
A VERY CLOSE FRIEND IN RECOVERY
SAID, LEAVING OUR SON IN FLORIDA
AT CHRISTMAS, JUST LEAVING HIM,
NO FOOD, NOTHING, HE SAID, I'M
HUNGRY, SORRY, CLICK, WAS THE
MOST LOVING THING TO DO.
>> WOW.
THEY KNOW IT, TOO.
WAS THAT THE BEGINNING OF THE
BEGINNING?
I MEAN, WAS THAT THE BEGINNING
OF HIS TURNAROUND?
>> NO.
YES, IN ESSENCE, THAT WAS AFTER
SEVERAL YEARS.
THAT WAS CHRISTMAS.
IN APRIL, HE ENTERED A RECOVERY
PROGRAM AND HAD HIS MOMENT OF
AWAKENING, WHERE HE SAID, I'M
GOING TO GIVE THIS 100%.
I'M GOING TO GIVE THIS MY BEST
SHOT.
HE TURNED HIS LIFE AROUND.
COMPLETELY.
>> IT'S LIKE -- IT'S LIKE THE
RETURN OF SOMEONE FROM THE DEAD,
WHEN AN ADDICT IN YOUR LIFE GETS
SOBER AND COMES BACK TO YOU.
IT'S LIKE THE RETURN OF SOMEONE
WHO HAS DIED, YOU KNOW.
THIS PERSON HAS BEEN RESURRECTED
TO YOU.
HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN SOBER NOW?
>> EIGHT YEARS.
>> AMAZING.
AMAZING.
I KNOW HE GAVE US THAT ON-CAMERA
INTERVIEW.
HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE HERE TODAY
BECAUSE IT IS TOUGH TO TALK
ABOUT THIS STUFF IN A LIVE
STUDIO AUDIENCE.
I GET THAT.
I'M GRATEFUL HE SPOKE TO OUR
CAMERAS.
YOU KNOW THERE ARE MILLIONS OF
PEOPLE OUT THERE RIGHT NOW, MOMS
AND DADS, WHO ARE THINKING, I
CAN'T DO IT.
>> YES.
>> WHAT DO YOU WANT THEM TO
KNOW?
>> THIS IS WHAT I WANT THEM TO
KNOW.
MY SON CO-OWNS A TREATMENT
PROGRAM TODAY.
HE WAS A HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT.
HE GOT HIS COLLEGE DEGREE.
HE GOT HIS TRAINING.
HE HELPS PEOPLE NOW.
IF I COULD HAVE SEEN THAT THOSE
VERY DIFFICULT THINGS THAT WERE
BREAKING MY HEART TO DO WOULD
HELP HIM, BECAUSE ULTIMATELY IT
WAS HIM, BUT WOULD HELP HIM
LAUNCH, THEN I WOULD HAVE DONE
IT MUCH SOONER.
PARENTS NEED TO HAVE THE COURAGE
TO TRY TO DO THE THING THAT THEY
MOST DON'T WANT TO DO.
THAT IS THE LOVING THING TO DO.
THAT IS IT.
>> GAVE ME THE CHILLS.
THANK YOU.
>> THANK YOU.
>> THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR
STORY.