So many individuals
idolize the phony.
Idolize the people
who are not giving you the true story
behind their relationships
and seeing you idolize
superficial relationship goals.
So, here's the thing.
If we're going to have relationship goals,
you know what they're supposed to be?
(Music)
So, you see this couple on the internet
posing together,
taking this beautiful picture.
Maybe they're taking a vacation
and the beach is in the background
and the sun is in their eyes
and the wind is blowing their hair
and you're thinking oh my gosh,
relationship goals.
Stop.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Listen, here is the problem
with relationship goals.
We hear this term all the damn time.
And I'm sorry if I'm feeling a little
passionate right now,
but I get so sick
of the fake and phony stuff
I see online.
But what's so unfortunate about it
is seeing people eat it up
and then yell, relationship goals.
Yelling relationship goals
because you see this person
acting the way that you think
you would like to have in your relationship.
Because you see people glorifying
this positive moment,
but they're not showing you the other moments
having this relationship.
Having you all prop up
couples who you think are so happy together
when they're miserable behind closed doors.
Now let me tell you this.
I do love positive images of love,
positive real images of love.
I think anything that is genuine
I will always co-sign.
So, I don't ever want you to think
that I don't like people posting loving pictures
or real moments
because I think a lot of individuals
need to see positive examples.
But it disturbs me to the core
to see so many people, so many individuals
idolize the phony.
Idolize the people
who are not giving you the true story
behind their relationships
and seeing you idolize
superficial relationship goals.
So, here's the thing,
if we're going to have relationship goals,
you know what they're supposed to be?
They're supposed to be
transparent communication.
They're supposed to be
loving and respecting each other.
They're supposed to be
sharing the same values.
They're supposed to be
putting God first.
They're supposed to be
treating each other with full respect.
They're supposed to be not letting
other individuals disrespect our relationships
or dictate what's going on in our relationships.
I can give you all some real relationship goals.
But these pictures,
these images, these snapshots of moments
that are simply superficial
are not the real goals.
We are focusing on the wrong thing.
And we've got to adjust our view.
And we've got to understand that number one,
don't be too quick
to want what you see other people have
because you don't know the price
they paid to get it
or the price they're paying to keep it.
I have stories for days of individuals
who look so happy online
and are miserable behind closed doors.
And you're over there wishing you could have
what they have.
Glorifying them, glorifying their relationship
and what that sets you up for is
when it finally comes out
that it wasn't all that,
you're devastated.
You become emotionally invested
in the image that they've shown you
and in the hype that they gave you.
That when you find out it's not like that,
you start to think well, damn,
none of these relationships are good.
Damn, are there any good men?
Are there any good women?
Yes, there's plenty of them
but guess what? A lot of them
ain't posting all these pictures.
A lot of them ain't trying to put an act for social media.
And again,
I do not want this to be taken as me
speaking negatively on individuals
who want to show their moments of love
because some of them are real.
And you might be saying well, Stephan,
how do you know if it's fake or not
and when it's genuine.
Now, for me I can tell you
there's just things that I pick up on.
That's a whole another discussion.
But... And intuitively,
spiritually, there are things that I can sense
but I know to the naked eye
you won't always see it.
And so, I understand if you
buy into it in the moment,
but you need not get consumed by it
or you need not glorify it
in a way that puts it on a pedestal.
Because again,
you're focusing on the wrong thing.
you're not seeing the full picture.
So, let's make an agreement
that if we're going to scream relationship goals
it's going to be about
core foundational principles
we need in our relationships.
If we're going to scream relationship goals,
how about implementing some of these principles
in our other relationships.
Like you all you're glorifying
these people online, all right.
Because they took a nice picture together
on a vacation
and you don't even know how
to talk to your partner.
You don't even know how to talk to your
friends the right way.
Your communication skills are lacking.
Let's make that our relationship goal.
Let's make loving ourselves
our relationship goal.
Let's make putting God first
and connecting with God our relationship goal.
Let's make things of real substance
the relationship goals
and not just what we see
being shown on the internet
and being glorified for our amusement
and to gain our attention.
(Music)