- I've been doing the quarantine,
Loni Love-- the Quarantine with Loni Talent Show.
So right now, that's what I want to do.
I know each of y'all has some talents.
So I want us all to display our talents tonight.
I'll start off first, get y'all to thinking
which y'all want to do.
I will give y'all a rendition of an original composition.
Yes, I play flute in elementary.
So--
B. SIMONE: This for real?
Yes, here-- here--
here we go.
[FLUTE PLAYING]
Oh [BLEEP], Loni. I thought you--
Loni.
Thank you!
B. SIMONE: Loni, we really thought you was about to blow--
like, blow us away.
I thought you was going to get--
- That wasn't-- - That wasn't blowing?
ROBBI: --or some [BLEEP]
--going to be all some like Lizzo [BLEEP]..
LONI: I did a-- a-- a trill.
That-- [FLUTE TRILL]
Oh my God.
Call it a trill, girl.
Woo!
That was good.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Loni.
[BLEEP] [INAUDIBLE] [BLEEP]
ROBBI: I was ready.
I was about-- I was about to get out my drink
and really relax into--
We were literally, like, so into it.
I thought I was about to be blown away.
- Oh. - That's the--
That was funny.
That's the comedy flute styles of Loni Love.
OK, next for the Loni Love Quarantine Talent Show
is Ms. Tami Romans.
Tami, what will be your--
your talent?
What is it?
Um, Bonnet chronicles?
Hey, I love that.
Yeah.
Yes.
Bonnet chronicles is lit.
TAMI: Yes.
OK, so have at it, girl.
You've got to give me a topic.
Bad kids.
Or your kids be at the grocery store
moving around doing too much.
Yeah, I like that.
OK, OK, OK.
OK, listen.
Some of y'all need to get your damn kids together
because I'm tired of walking through the grocery store
and see your kids running up and down the aisles touching
everything in the damn.
You bring them from home, and you
need to give them that look.
Because when I grew up, I grew up on the look.
All my momma had to do was uh, and I
knew not to touch nothing.
But y'all kids, y'all kids is ridiculous.
Y'all didn't know they was bad as hell.
That's what I tell you right now.
They touching things.
They pulling stuff down.
I saw a lady in the aisle, and she said--
uh, uh, the daughter say, momma, I want to get these chips.
And then-- and the momma said, well,
you can't have those right now.
And the daughter threw a full-fledged tantrum.
I stood at the end of the aisle like, hm, now how
the [BLEEP] this gonna go down?
Because my momma would have slapped me in my damn face
with the Lays.
So y'all better get these kids under control.
Shoot.
Yeah!
Woo!
And scene.
LONI: That's Bonnet Chronicles.
TAMI: Something like that. ROBBI: Yes, yes, that was good.
We love that.
OK we moving on with the talent show.
Now we got miss Robbi Rogers.
What are you going to do today for us, Robbi?
Your talent. - You know what?
I only have hair tossing talents.
They all mean something.
OK. ROBBI: You know what I mean?
So when somebody say something to me that's--
OK.
--I'm like, girl, what?
What-- what-- what-- what you say?
B. SIMONE: Ha.
Let me see.
if I want to be sexy, this is, you know,
play with your hair type thing.
You know what I'm saying? - OK.
You got to have good hair to do that.
Your hair real good.
You and Tami got that good hair.
How you been show--
when you tossing it, you don't fall off?
It's because you take your measurements.
It fit.
So it stay tight.
Let them know how it's supposed to be, Robbi.
Measure that hair.
Everybody's hair is short, what, what, what?
Hoo hoo, OK.
OK, wait.
Keep it-- keep it on.
So we got hair tossing by Robbi Rogers.
Thank you, Robbi.
That's hilarious.
I got it now.
So B. Simone--
So I--
LONI: --what is your talent?
--to show y'all how to twerk.
- Oh? - Oh!
So excited.
I'm so excited.
So you got to wear something real loose
so your booty move real easy-- - OK.
--because if you wear something tight, it's going
to be harder for it to move.
All right, so come on, Tami.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh.
OK.
Oh, oh, oh, you know how to do that.
You got to, like, bounce it.
I can't do it.
(SINGING) Don't stop it, stop it,
Do do the-- oh, right.
Put one leg up.
(SINGING) Damn right, that body.
Touch your toes.
Oh!
I can twerk!
(SINGING) Mix it, pop it.
I'm so happy.
Loni, if you don't put that damn flute down--
B. SIMONE: Loni trying to act like she playing the flute.
I was twerking with the flute?
- If you don't-- - That is not you playing.
--put that damn flute down--
Oh my God.
Y'all did good!
We all need to take a twerk class.
- Cheers to the Loni Love-- - --my breath.
--Quarantine Talent Show. Y'all did wonderful.
Ladies, give yourself a hand clap.
Yay!
Woo!