Oh my gosh!
In this video, I'm going to tell you
why narcissist pick fights with you.
And more importantly,
I'm going to tell you how to
shut it down before it even starts.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am a narcissist negotiation expert.
I'm also a lawyer.
I've helped so many people shift that dynamic.
So that you can break free
from toxic relationships and,
more importantly, negotiate your best life and
finally finally have the freedom that you want.
And if that sounds really really good.
Make sure that you subscribe to this channel.
Hit that notification bell.
I upload brand new videos every single day.
So that you can finally live the
life that you deserve.
I know you're over there feeling maybe totally used.
Abused feeling like trauma brain
and it's partially because theypick
fights with you all the time,
and it didn't start off like that.
I did it.
No.
They start off with the most perfect
amazing life heaven on earth.
They come on with these promises of heaven.
You know, they love bomb you at the beginning,
whether it's a business relationship
or a personal relationship.
I had a business relationship
with a narcissist
and literally, it's like you found this amazing,
incredible person and the reason is
because they know how to become chameleons.
They mirror you.
They study you.
They know how to become the perfect version
of exactly what it is that you wanna see.
So they line themselves up
to make it seem like you can't.
Imagine anyone more amazing than this person.
You literally are like,
wow, where has this person been all of my life?
Then once they lock you in,
which is pretty quickly because they don't wanna
live in that sort of state for very long,
then they start picking these fights with you.
That's when they go into that devalue stage.
And if you wanna know more about these
these stages of a narcissistic relationship.
I do have videos on this.
The love bomb stage.
The devalue stage.
The discard stage.
But they start picking these fights with you
and they start doing that
for a number of different reasons.
It's to start conditioning you at the beginning,
to start breaking you down,
to start establishing control over you.
They know how valuable you are.
They wouldn't have attached
themselves to you they didn't,
but they want to start conditioning you.
They wanna see,
okay, If I do this, what are they gonna do?
Are they gonna stick around?
Are they gonna leave?
What's gonna happen?
And then once they see,
okay, they stick around, good.
Great.
Perfect.
They also by the way,
enjoy in a sick way watching you be triggered.
They literally get off on seeing your,
you know, emotional response.
They reveling your frustration.
They kinda laugh
at inwardly at you or sometimes
even outwardly at you getting upset.
I mean, I know somebody who once some
people would start getting upset or frustrated.
They'd say, now we're having a conversation.
They'd actually like that.
I mean, some people really love to
elicit a reaction out of people.
They enjoy that.
They wanna throw you off your balance.
They wanna keep you upset.
Sometimes they do it just to make
you feel guilty or just to kinda.
You know, do that.
But they want to suck you into that mud they
wanna get you into their web of toxicity.
So this is you know,
the love bomb and devalue phase.
So, you know depending on
what part of the relationship you're in
that's why they do it there.
Okay?
And sometimes they do it just
to throw you off on what they're doing, by the way.
Because maybe sometimes it's like oh,
create fire over here so that you
don't see what they're doing over here.
Sometimes they do with that too.
As they go into discard phase,
they don't really want you to
know what's going on.
You know, I have videos on that too
and a narcissist realizes what's going on
and sometimes when the narcissist
realizes that you refuse to be controlled.
Well, you know, then that's a whole other game.
And I have a whole video on that too.
So now when you go into the discard phase
and you become public enemy number one.
Now they pick fights for a whole other reason.
Now they do it because they
wanna see you get out of control.
So they can use your emotional reaction against you.
Because if they can use your
emotional reaction against you.
They have something that they
can run to the court system about
look, there's the crazy one.
There's the the one who is the emotional one.
They use it in your text messages.
They use it in video.
They get witnesses against you.
While they stand over there
all calm and collected and cool.
You are the one that looks crazy.
That's why I tell you all the time
and this is what I'm gonna tell you right now.
Don't allow yourself to be triggered.
Take a beat.
Take a minute.
Scream in the shower.
Yell in your pillow.
Punch your pillow.
Do whatever you need to do.
Don't let the narcissist see you upset.
Take time to get the support that you need.
You know, we have a whole facebook group
of people who are supporting each other.
Join my free private Facebook group.
Narcissist negotiators with Rebecca Zung.
If you don't have your own
support in the way of therapy.
We do offer that through
betterhelp.com/rebeccazung.
Get your support there because I want
you to have the help and support that you need.
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You don't pay any extra on that.
We just want you to have the
help and support that you need.
We only recommend services that we trust.
We just want you to have the help
and support that you need because you
need to be able to rise above this.
And I want you to put
that in the comments right now.
“RISE ABOVE!”
“ RISE ABOVE! ”
And I have whole videos by the way on
Self care to cope with narcissist
because you do need to take care of yourself.
You do need self care when
you're dealing with a narcissist.
So watch those free videos as well.
If you're getting ready to
negotiate with the narcissist.
Grab my free crush my negotiation
prep worksheet at crushmydeal.com
crushmydeal.com.
It's a free ebook.
Fifteen pages, totally free.
I've had people win their entire negotiation on it.
Definitely grab that.
So lots and lots of support for you.
Don't do this alone.
Don't allow them to trigger you.
Don't give them that satisfaction.
Rise above.
And remember that today's a great
day to start negotiating your best life.
Wherever you are is the jumping off point.
Remember Namaste, namaSLAY.
SLAY is the name of my program.
So I say namaSLAY.
Alright?
And I will see all of you in the next video.