- This video, I'm gonna show you the one belief
if you adopt, and if you have,
will result in crazy magnetic energy.
I believe that in three to six months from now
you may look back and see that this is the one video
that changed it all for you,
and helped you to have magnetic energy from the inside out.
Now over the last three to six months,
I've been going deep on studying attachment styles,
magnetic and polarizing energy,
the power of non-neediness,
and how non-neediness is the key
to really also having magnetic energy,
and through all these books that I'm reading,
through all the different seminars I've listened to,
what I have learned is that there's one specific belief
that changes everything,
and that really what this all comes down to as well
is our belief about ourselves.
What do we believe to be true about ourselves?
Because whatever we believe to be true about ourselves,
is what we are getting a reflection of.
So if we believe that we are only worthy of somebody
that maybe is a gaslighter,
somebody that has a very controlling, manipulative energy,
maybe somebody that's emotionally unavailable.
If we believe that that is familiar to us,
and normal for us,
then we continue to attract those patterns into our lives.
However, what the common denominator
of all these different beliefs are,
and all these different energy dynamics are,
is it comes down to the belief of worthiness.
Now, let me share with you an example
of how I realized this,
and it was a game-changer for me,
when I was studying attachment styles.
Now learning about attachment styles
also will completely change your perspective
of how you relate to other people,
because there's one of three different attachment styles.
Some people say there's more than three,
but just for the video sake of this,
there's three main attachment styles
that explain most people,
and that is one, secure.
Secure attachment style
means that somebody can give and receive love equally.
They are able to be intimate with somebody else,
but also, if that somebody else
is going through a process or something,
they're not trying to fix it.
They're not worried.
They don't feel like someone's gonna always leave them.
That is the secure attachment style.
Normally it also is a reflection of inner childhood,
of having the parents that were emotionally present,
physically there.
And there's like,
they believe that they can be secure
in their own love life.
Now that with an anxious attachment, for example,
anxious attachment, normally,
is people that lean in for love.
It's people that crave their partner's validation,
or approval.
Anxious attachment is if somebody else is having
and wants space,
it's like, normally they wanna fix it,
they wanna figure it out.
It's normally also the person
that's waiting for the text back,
and is hoping that the other person comes around
and likes them,
and it's normally rooted in a childhood
where either mom or dad
were physically or emotionally unavailable,
and their needs weren't met.
So anxious attachment style,
normally their needs weren't met,
so they're seeking for the validation, approval
in the people that they date,
and then that is called anxious attachment.
Now in avoidant attachment,
we have that of somebody
that normally has a similar childhood trauma in a way,
where the mom or dad
may have been physically or emotionally unavailable,
but there is a different way of responding to it.
Whereas the anxious person leans in,
and craves it,
the avoidant person finds safety in individuality,
in being individual,
and separating themselves from somebody else.
Also, normally there's a trust wound,
where maybe mom or dad cheated on each other, or something,
or there was a divorce that happened, or something,
and then somebody decided, "I'm not safe with intimacy.
I take care of myself."
And they normally in relationships,
normally anxious and avoidance attract each other,
and what ends up happening
is the anxious is wanting the love,
the avoidant wants the space,
and it becomes this like kind of cat-and-mouse game.
Now the epiphany game-changer that I learned,
from all that couple minute explanation there,
is that the biggest difference,
one, is that the meaning given to the childhood trauma
determines what somebody sways,
which way.
So for example, the anxious, the person gave it the meaning,
the kid gave it a meaning that said that,
"People are going to leave me."
There's normally also an abandonment wound
that came from that of the anxious and the avoidant.
The goal is to become more secure, obviously.
So what ends up happening is the anxious believes,
"I'm not worthy and people leave me."
That's the belief they have.
Well also, needy energy is one of the most non-magnetic,
it's one of the most not-magnetic things there is.
It's one of the most repelling energies there is,
because neediness is saying that,
"Outside of myself is more important
than what's inside of myself."
Neediness is when you make someone else
more important than yourself.
When you put someone else's needs above yourself,
and you want something outside,
so that you can feel safe on the inside.
And what ends up happening, though,
is from that needy energy, it repels love.
One of the most attractive qualities you can have
is non-needy energy,
and one of the ways to go through that, honestly,
if you go into it a little bit deeper,
it's to actually become aware
of the inner child abandonment that happened,
where mom or dad, physically or emotionally,
was abandoning,
and then what happened, the meaning was,
"This is because I'm not worthy.
This is because there's something wrong with me.
Why would they leave?"
And we internalize it,
and that's for the anxious and also for the avoidant.
Why did mom cheat on dad or dad cheat on mom?
"Why did they do this thing to me?"
Or, "I can't trust anymore."
But what ends up happening
is there's this belief
that is wired in, of shame.
"I believe I'm broken.
I believe there's something wrong with me."
Whereas the secure person believes
that they can receive love
and also believes that someone isn't going to leave.
So they're not changing their center of gravity
to make this other person happy,
which has a depolarising effect on it.
So the power of what I'm sharing in this video
that changes everything is becoming aware
of what you believe to be true about yourself,
and the core of this is rooted in releasing shame.
When you release shame,
this is what I had to do.
I had to release the belief
that there was something wrong with me,
the belief of feeling broken
because from seven to 15 I had that ex-stepmom in my life,
that my dad attracted,
because my dad's the nice guy,
the nice guy kind of people-pleaser mentality,
attracted the narcissist, my ex-stepmom.
She was my life from seven to 15 years old,
controlling, manipulative,
but for some reason, what ended up happening is,
I wired in this belief that said I wasn't worth,
my brother and I were not worth being protected.
We were not worth having a "normal childhood,"
or there was something wrong with us,
and that's why we were physically or emotionally abused.
And that belief then stayed with me.
And then after my ex-stepmom left when I was 15,
and when my dad finally divorced her, guess what happened?
I attracted a girlfriend
that was very jealous and controlling,
and I had a belief that either someone was gonna leave me,
or I'm not worthy,
or I deserve punishment.
I deserve to be controlled.
And that was in my life,
for four years I dated her, and then I broke up with her,
and then also I was in the relationship three years too long
because my dad was in the relationship
for six years too long.
He didn't know how to leave,
or how to break up with somebody
that was like crossing his boundaries,
or doing something that shouldn't have been acceptable.
Well, in the same way,
I would let myself feel like I was in this little box,
and you wanna know the crazy thing is that little box
of having somebody control me, that I would let happen.
That felt safe from childhood.
So most of these attachment styles,
or most of these beliefs we have,
we, in a way, fight for that energy,
because it feels safe.
Not only does it feel safe, but it feels familiar,
and familiar energy and familial energy,
almost very similar words,
because it literally feels like family.
So we are recreating the same childhood dynamics
in our relationships,
and when it comes to magnetic energy,
the biggest block to us feeling magnetic
is that we may still believe
there's something wrong with us.
There's shame.
We may believe people are going to leave.
And the key is becoming aware of these beliefs,
that's 90% of transformation,
and then choosing to let them go,
realizing we made the belief, which means meaning.
We created the meaning when we were kids,
when we didn't know better.
And when I was studying that "Attached" book,
and all these other books,
the one common denominator that changed everything
is secure people just literally believe they are worthy.
Secure People believe that somebody is not gonna leave them,
and they believe that they deserve love.
And they're able to also give love, and be intimate.
And the key to knowing this is,
is that if you're anxious or avoidant,
you can become more secure
by becoming aware of the energy inside of you,
by becoming aware of the story, or the belief,
that might be on autopilot.
And one of the most powerful things that I learned
that helped me become way more magnetic,
it was the power of vulnerability.
Vulnerability is the ability,
vulner means wound,
and ability is the ability to go into your wounds.
And the reason people normally are afraid to be vulnerable,
is they're afraid if they're vulnerable
they're gonna get abandoned again,
like maybe they were in childhood.
So it's like we put on this front.
So maybe like an anxious person,
maybe more people-pleaser, nice-guy pattern,
which is something that I had to break,
because I learned it from my dad,
and then I would attract people in my life
that I felt like I had to fix.
But the game-changer was becoming aware
of that energy inside of me,
and then making a choice to let it go,
but also to heal,
and to realize that there was an abandonment wound,
where what I was doing
is I was trying to help everybody else,
because that's what felt familiar and safe for me,
versus not abandoning myself,
and actually being vulnerable, and expressing the real me.
So I'd put on this front like, oh, I'd be really nice,
and that would depolarize sexual dynamics,
and I would like,
it's almost like I was hiding if I had feelings for someone,
because I was afraid of that rejection.
But eventually I realized
that the more I was vulnerable,
and expressing, it's called effective communication.
It's what they talked about in that "Attached" book.
Effective communication,
being able to effectively communicate what you're feeling,
'cause normally,
I mean, let's say you're more anxious in a relationship,
and you're afraid to tell your partner
that you're feeling a little bit needy,
and now normally what happens is there's another excuse.
So instead of getting mad
that maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend
wants to go out and hang out with their friends,
instead of getting mad about it, protesting,
and then going and being quiet about it,
which a lot of times will happen
in the anxious avoidant trap,
you actually express,
"You know, I wanted to spend more time with you this week,
and you wanna hang out with your friends a lot, but listen,
it's like, I'd love to spend more time with you,"
or something.
And the thing is, is people that are trying hide shame,
they're afraid of even expressing that,
or maybe the avoidant wants more space.
So instead of wanting space, they start being mean,
and start pushing that other person away.
Instead of just saying,
"Listen, I need a little bit of space today.
I just need a little bit of space,
then I'll come back, and it'll be even better,"
or something,
like being able to express, and to be vulnerable,
is the key to really getting into your heart,
and the key to really healing,
because then you could start taking care of your own needs.
And as you start taking care of your own needs,
you can then relate to people in a very different way.
So as one of the most magnetic qualities
you could possibly have,
it includes also being able to let go of neediness.
Neediness normally comes from childhood,
comes from our unmet childhood needs,
trying to get those met.
Letting go of neediness
is about prioritizing your own sense of validation,
your own sense of love,
and your own sense of support,
and not abandoning the self.
And as you do that, it changes absolutely everything,
because then you start living according to your own values.
You start living according to your own north compass
of where you're going,
and that is very attractive.
And then also,
if you haven't heard me talk before
about the frame technique,
you put your hands and your feet,
you put your hands in your feet?
You put your energy in your hands and your feet.
You feel the separation between you and the other person,
you and the wall, you and your,
like me and the camera right now.
The more you feel safe in your body,
the more magnetic energy you will have.
The more you want something from the outside,
the more dispersed your energy is.
Bring the energy in your body,
and watch how much that begins to change.
Now I am doing something.
If you wanna ask me your love questions,
if you wanna listen to my top,
or hear my top epiphanies,
top books I'm currently reading,
I send those out and I can text that to you.
So all you gotta do is text me your questions
at 424 304 0104.
Let me know what those are,
and then I'll be sending two or three messages
to you a week.
And then also if you haven't checked out this video yet,
it's the five traits of highly attractive people.
These are traits that every single one of us
can adopt and take on.
Watch this video right here to wire it all in.
These are the five traits of extremely magnetic people.
So people that you perceive to have very contagious energy,
energy that pulls you in, makes you desire 'em more,
makes them, in a way, irresistible.
I'm gonna show you what those five traits are, and-