-Jake Gyllenhaal. It's good to see you, buddy.
You seem kind of down.
Everything alright? -Yeah, no, everything is okay.
[ Laughter ]
-Wow. Oh, my goodness.
-It's kind of been a tough week.
-Really?
-Had to cut my dog's balls off.
[ Laughter ]
-You, you -- you yourself?
[ Laughter ]
-I would've liked to, probably. [ Laughter ]
-Because you love your dog.
-But a professional should do that.
-You had a professional do it.
That's a tough thing to do.
-Yeah. Sorry to bring it down. It's just --
-No, they're having a good time. They're laughing.
[ Laughter ]
They're actually having a good time with this.
-Maybe some of you empathize -- I mean, with your dogs.
With your dogs. -Wait, but is it a puppy?
-No, he's actually seven years old.
-Whoa. -Yeah, I know.
Well, I should explain.
He had hip problems when he was a baby, so they told me
instead of giving him surgery and have him go through pain
when he was a little puppy, that I should keep him intact,
and that the muscles -- that the testosterone would --
the muscles around his hips,
the testosterone would help build stronger.
It's a holistic approach, right?
-Of course. Sure, sure, sure. -And I said, "Okay."
But then, as he's gotten a little bit older,
he's seven years old now, his prostate has become a problem.
So they suggested that I get him neutered for health reasons.
And so, I said, "Okay, good. That needs to happen."
-Absolutely, you've got to take care of the dog.
-Yeah, so, I was about to, and then I was looking at
some photographs on the Internet
of neutered dogs of an older age.
-You've done this for years.
-Well, yeah, my doctor had suggested that
maybe he should get Neuticles.
[ Laughter ]
Do you know what those are?
-No, I could guess, maybe.
-They're prosthetic testicles.
[ Laughter ] So, I said, "No."
-Of course, yeah. -Of course.
And then I was like, "Well, what do they look like?"
[ Laughter ]
-Dude, you can get in trouble for Googling stuff like that.
-What I saw was what happens
with a dog when they don't have them.
And it's just an empty sack of --
-Alright, Jake, thanks. [ Laughter ]
-So I ended up calling my doctor the night before surgery
and saying, "Can we get these things, these Neuticles?"
Can we get them stat?"
Like they say on "E.R." [ Laughter ]
-You did not say "stat." -I did.
I called her immediately. I said, "Can we get them stat?"
And she said, "You're going to have to wait." So I waited.
-Even though you used the correct medical term?
-Yeah. -Yeah. You cannot get them stat.
-Stat. And I had to figure out what size they were.
-No, this is insane now. No, this is insane.
[ Laughter ] -But it's true.
-Well, you let the dog choose.
-The dog has -- He's a German Shepherd.
He has German Shepherd-size testicles.
[ Laughter ]
Anyway, long story short, he has Neuticles.
[ Laughter ]
-And are the Neuticles -- what dog --
What breed did you go with for the Neuticles?
-Well, obviously the Chihuahua's.
[ Laughter ]
No, come on. No, no.
Gorilla. Gorilla.
-Gorilla. [ Laughter ]
Unbelievable. Well, the dog is healthy.
-He's great. He's fine. He's healthy. He's happy.
He has no recollection whatsoever.
-That's what we wanted. [ Cheers and applause ]
-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring you all down.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah. Yeah. -I love seeing you.
I do want to say this before we get into anything,
because I was with my friend maybe about a month ago,
we're just playing song for song.
Just going song for -- You get a song, I get a song.
Doesn't have to be anything.
And he played me this song,
"Sunday in the Park with George."
I think the name of the song is "Sunday."
And he played it and I was like, "Love this."
I go, "Who is this?"
He goes, "It's Jake Gyllenhaal."
And I was like -- Dude, you are phenomenal in that play.
-Oh, thanks, man. -You got a voice.
Oh, my gosh. Not just good.
Great. Fantastic.
And I know that you can sing,
and we've done bits on the show so many times.
But man, oh, man, you knocked that one out of the park, buddy.
-Well, it's a pretty incredible show.
We did it on Broadway, and then we were about
to go do it in London, and then the worldwide pandemic hit,
and then we had to cancel.
-Does it feel good that you're on -- I mean, you're on Spotify.
-Yeah. -That's cool.
-No, it is super cool. My name doesn't even fit.
[ Laughter ]
-It scrolls past. -It was a whole cast.
They just, like -- "Let's just leave his name off."
-But I saw you at the Tonys, by the way.
You got nominated for a Tony.
Look at this. Come on. It's Jake Gyllenhaal.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You look great. -Thank you.
-Everyone was talking about --
You had a baby pink tux that people were talking about.
-Baby pink, yeah. -Baby pink. People loved it.
-It was a really, nice, soft thing.
-[ Laughs ]
"GQ" said you won the night.
Look at that. That's what I'm talking about.
[ Cheers and applause ] -That's nice.
-It's nice to see Broadway is back.
-Oh, it's so great. -How did it feel?
What was the energy like? -It's so great.
It's wonderful. I mean, it's like --
To think of everything that we've been through,
particularly Broadway and everyone who works on Broadway,
to come back, to feel like we actually, probably,
are going to last this through and stay
and to see an audience here -- just a live audience.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-It's the best. -It's the best.