oh yeah it's picking them mm-hmm no just
as long as it gets no hotter than this
there shouldn't be any issues whatsoever
[Music]
hey what's going on everybody four first
we feast I'm Sean Evans and you're
watching hot ones it's the show with hot
questions even hotter wings and today
we're joined by the ace man Adam Carolla
he's a radio legend TV host filmmaker
and best-selling author you can catch up
on the Guinness world record holding
podcast the Adam Carolla Show weekdays
on podcast one or Apple podcasts ace
Rock Cola welcome to the show thanks
John thanks for having how are you a
spicy food um medium okay I brought my
towel because if I start smelling hot
food or eating hot food I will start
sweating profusely so I'm preemptively
donning a towel so I'm prepared for that
all right ace Rock Cole are you ready to
get it on mm-hmm
[Music]
or they get drum ads from miniature
chickens or chickens have not fully
matured
yeah we pulled these ones off pigeons
hmm I thought I tasted some hobo on this
one notes of rat fecal matter so it's no
exaggeration when I say that I grew up
on Loveline I listened to you and dr.
drew almost every night from seventh
grade well indeed collagen to date the
nerdiest thing I've ever done in my life
has sent $200 in a hard drive across the
country that a super fan that I met on
this Web site called the love line
companion computed up with a decade's
worth of archived episodes Giovanni true
story true story I am I'm always I'm so
flattered that we infiltrated people's
you know bedrooms and brains sometimes
dr. drew and I'll talk to people and
they'll be like hey man I was an avid
fan I never missed a show you got me
through my childhood and without you I
wouldn't be Who I am today and then they
pause and they go is methadone really
effective and also I have an infection
and one of my genital piercings I want
to know if I gotta go to a clinic or if
I can just put iodine on it and I
thought to myself how good a job did we
do with this part it's the generation
that you guys raised there yes and then
what do you think was the most
ridiculous radio PSA that played during
your tenure at k-rock the one that drove
me the most nuts was airline turbulence
safety and it was this commercial live
it say your body is made for all kinds
of things and they'd say like
rollerblading and they have a sound of a
car screeching brakes screeching and
they'd say like childbirth and Anna oh
one was football like they go football
like my body's made for your eyes they
give you are we allowed to cuss yep they
give you a [ __ ] 13 and examples of
ways people die every year times ten or
thousand and then they go but your body
wasn't made for airplane turbulence
where no one dies
airplane turbulence why did I need a PSA
saying wear your seatbelt if I got on
the plane and they mention it 13 times
before we started taxing that's what
used to drive me nuts I used to hear
this I used to think about us taking our
taxpayers money and sending it off to
Pueblo Colorado where the Ad Council
makes this [ __ ] and he used to drive me
insane and then I used to think of all
the stuff we should have been spending
our money on like [ __ ] turn right on
a red when there's no cars coming it's
legal once you stop like [ __ ] like that
sorry I like this one so long before
you're on TV and radio I know that you
worked in construction digging ditches
swinging a hammer and do an earthquake
rehabilitation for the people out here
that are watching and maybe they want to
renovate a kitchen or a bathroom
what are your red flags when it comes to
hiring a contractor I'd had a guy give
me an estimate on blown insulation get
your head how the gutter people I'd like
to do that
it's just blown cellulose insulation
like if you have a wall and you have a
house from the 20s or something and
there's no insulation in the wall we
don't want to tear off all the lath and
plaster put in bats of our 13 we would
pop a hole at the top and pop a hole at
the bottom and blow in what it's like
blown cellulose it's like busted up
newspapers anyway the guy pulled up get
a canary yellow yellow Hummer and like
triple chrome 22 inch rims on it and it
was all done up like a custom stereo and
I was like that dudes charging too much
for blowing pitch you're blowing
insulation right mm-hmm but then on the
other hand if the guy pulls up
and he's got like a VW square back and
he's made his own rack and one of the
windows was blown out there's like
plywood where where the wind wing was
that guy's [ __ ] and that guy's a loser
and that guy's so to me you look for the
pickup truck just think four to seven
years old
seventy to ninety five thousand miles on
it you know there's a sweet spot in
there of about a thirty one thousand
dollar truck that's four and a half
years old that's who you're looking for
[Music]
it's good but I can feel it kicked in
now yeah that's getting real it's
getting real yeah here's your first
world problem Jeff you know I mean my
tongue is too hot because I've dumped
too much habanero on it because I'm
doing a interview show I think this is
why the terrorists hate us I can't blame
them there's places like all over where
it's like they die for a piece of this
meat and we've turned it into some sort
of novelty act for the Internet
never thought about it that way but
you're right it's important that you do
before you go to bed every single night
so at this point our viewers are
probably not surprised to learn that you
have some particular thoughts and it
comes to food whether it's coffee
creamer or catering spreads we're a
third of the sandwiches are vegetarian
and it's like a minefield of triggers
feeding Adam Carolla but I want to dig
into a few takes in particular please in
the great gastropub off' ocation of
america all these fancy versions of
deviled eggs are popping up on menus all
over oh my god somebody tweeted me one
the other day I got violent what are
your thoughts on gussied up comfort food
all right my take on on everything is if
you are gonna do your own fucked-up
version of it you need to give this dude
a heads up before you bring it to my
table like I can't it all started many
years ago I was in Vegas as at the Hard
Rock
I ordered the best drunken hungover food
ever which is huevos rancheros it's like
it's greasy it's got eggs it's got
cheese the plates hots a big gooey mess
you know you get the tortillas on the
side and you start mopping it up and
sopping it up and like doing your own
thing probably takes something on the
scale here and give it a couple shots
and they brought me a goddamn breakfast
burrito and it was like scrambled eggs
and a flour tortilla and it was like all
wrapped up and I was like whoa I ordered
huevos rancheros and they went that's
how we do huevos rancheros and I was
like [ __ ] you you can't do that to
people you know what I'd like to do with
all this
they go oh it's $22 and then I just
leave them $4 and they go well what I'll
go that's my $20 that's that's my take
see I'm own take I just leave a quarter
but that's my $20 I like that
hold on where's my camera oh it's oh
okay on this side okay this side the
goddamn passion fruit ice team that's
where that's where it all started the
passion fruit ice tea cause you love ice
tea
who doesn't love ice tea and you know
anyone we've ever went like oh I'm gonna
have a hit of this brewed iced tea with
the lemon wedge in it and had them go I
wish it tasted a little more like a
scented candle I'd really like it to
taste a little more like someone took
potpourri and put in a gym sock and just
dipped it in warm water so I'm sitting
at Marie Callender's up on Wilshire but
they just call it calendars there
because it's like how do we charge four
dollars more for a hamburger get rid of
that [ __ ] Murray's name with us call it
calendars and we'll do that and we're
sitting there and I said could I have an
iced tea and they went yeah we have iced
tea and then I said but it's not
passionfruit ice tea right and she said
it is passionfruit ice tea and I said I
just want regular iced tea and they said
most of our customers prefer the
passionfruit the singsong a
condescending tone and at that moment
like an angel dropped this patron down
from heaven the woman sitting at the
table here went like oh is it
passionfruit ice tea then cancel my iced
tea and I was like another satisfied
customer and I was like I made sweet
love to that woman that night I'm in
tonight on the table
we're heating up we are heating up Adam
but it's still good mm-hmm
not out of your comfort zone yet no not
quite yet all right Adam we have a
recurring segment on our show called
explain that Graham we do a deep dive
and I guess Instagram pull interesting
pictures that need more context you do
not have an IG which kind of throws a
wrench into our system but we've
developed a workaround we've pulled some
classic Adam Carolla throwbacks so I'll
just show you the picture and then you
tell me the bigger story does that sound
good yeah where's my monitor
all right laptop please we do it off the
laptop here Adam okay all right first
things first what do you remember about
the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela
Anderson
I remember Courtney Love threatening to
throw a winger I think they used to call
it she was like up there like whoo and
but it was kind of weird because the
audience was kind of like no I'm eating
and I thought it's kind of a weird
realization for you know.they hey I'm
gonna pull my top up and there's 80 guys
with beers yelling like go go go and now
there's like middle-aged guys who are
eating there like no like no and so I
remember she Courtney kind of kept doing
that which was a more memorable
experience for you Adam throwing out the
first pitch at Wrigley Field or this
fight with Jimmy at the celebrity
all-star game we played in a whole bunch
over the years we don't do it anymore
because he's too big a star and I'm not
a big enough star the celebrity softball
games are like here you know and he's
transcended them and I've kind of dipped
below him we were playing in Chicago our
pitcher was like Tristan from The
Bachelor or something that season before
you know like the little miniature
blonde
and I said it if she throws one to Dave
Winfield who's like the greatest athlete
to ever play major league baseball had
like a basketball scholarship
football scholarship Dave Google where's
my camera
google his ass Dave Winfield was like
six six and built like Karl Malone to
Jimmy I said if this guy hits a
comebacker to Tris and he'll kill her
he'll kill her with this softball and
Jimmy said these guys the pros they're
not trying they're like taking half
swings and I said I don't think so cuz I
think you have that jock mentality and
there's 30,000 people there and once the
ball gets served up like Dave Winfield
doesn't check a nice addition fifty
percent probably knocks her teeth out at
least Oh easily easily yeah she ain't
modeling no more Mike would be able to
say he's done so I was just standing out
in left field and Dave Winfield comes up
and he hit the ball so goddamn far over
my head that it like went not only over
the softball fence we'd set up but the
regular friends I was another 150 feet
by so they into the night air just just
I could hear it whistles it went past a
guy I did that move as an outfielder
where I didn't even move because it was
so far gone it was I wasn't gonna
dignify it with a turn and jog or
anything so that's my Jimmy Dave
Winfield story
[Music]
oh yeah he's picking up mm-hmm
oh just as long as it gets no hotter
than this there shouldn't be any issues
whatsoever so recently the power
dynamics and media seemed to be shifting
away from these traditional gatekeepers
to talent who are taking control of
their own platform like in recent weeks
Drake made so many headlines on an
interview that he did with LeBron James
in a barber shop and there are countless
examples of comedians interviewing each
other rather than talking to the press I
understand my white privilige but it
sure was a barbershop for us you know
it's on camera but you know I've seen
that show on HBO I'm such a great time
and I go into sports clips and the [ __ ]
it's like do we have your name on file
I'm like come on it's me and she's like
we got to get your name and that show
everyone's laughing and I got a glass of
wine in their hand blessing each other's
chops and a respectful but playful
meaningful way and I don't think they
try to upsell you like the Whitey's
barbershop so he's like you want a
shampoo and a trim and a neck and I'm
like no I'm good do you want the triple
the grand slam the homerun or the Babe
Ruth and I'm like whatever's a [ __ ]
cheapest I want the hit by a pitch you
know it's weird to Whitey's barbershop
thousand plasma TVs you know what I mean
like anything not to establish eye
contact or having meaningful
conversations sorry what we're talking
about
so we've got a lot of comedians on the
show including the great Artie Lange
talk about how the climate of comedy has
changed quite a bit since veterans like
you get Egon right I can't write almond
milk and vegan wings for him right he's
a Tofurky yeah exactly a guy right yeah
and then these days you know one joke
out of a 90 minute set can become a
national headline or you have decades
old material that's reassessed under
this new standard of political
correctness I like that with that I love
it when they're like newly unearthed man
show footage of Jimmy Kimmel asking
women what's in his pants is like it's
not newly unearthed it aired it aired on
Comedy Central in 2002 multiple times
you had those on Hannity's like
unearthed that's like it's not on earth
it's on the Internet and it's aired
right already you know with that in mind
have you given any thought to whether or
not a show like the man show could exist
in 2018 and what kind of audience it
would draw the fastest growing sport is
like mixed martial arts like cage
fighting right guys in their underwear
with another guy on their back like
dropping elbows on the guy's orbital
socket and internet porn has exploded
and watch your step mom suck off her
special needs tutors like the hottest
category you know so we're like panties
in a bunch
crazy over the top apologizing for
quotes that Winston Churchill made and
then weird bizarre [ __ ] cage fight
festival over here this notion of
comedians have to watch what they say
the essence of being a comedian is not
watching what you say I don't I don't
get why we would even want them to do
that but I'm just a saying atheist
[Music]
we've we've kicked it up a notch yeah we
get it it's it's hot sauce uh-huh uh-huh
it's getting real over here oh good so
Adam I know that you're a connoisseur of
the good bad movie genre the 80s era
movies that are so over-the-top so corny
that they're actually kind of good so
what I want to do is bounce some titles
off of you I'm just curious about your
thoughts all right why do you think
Sylvester Stallone's Cobra is a must
watch movie well everyone knows you know
Rambo and everyone knows Rocky and there
were knows even over the top but they
sleep on Cobra Cobra is Stallone and is
Stallone yes
you know it's an insane my glasses are
started the whole thing's an insane
premise he's a cop I hope you're sitting
down he plays by his own rules it is
everything you need in a movie and no
one's ever seen it and it makes no sense
at all and for that reason you got to
watch for Cobra Point Break or Roadhouse
oh wait
break is actually kind of a goodish
movie so Roadhouse you got a watch
Roadhouse Roadhouse is great I love any
movie where any movie where somebody
said they were retired but they got to
pull them out of retirement because
they're the best right I love any movie
and I also love movies where people know
who you are even though we'd have no
idea who you were like Swayze they know
he's the best cooler in the business
yeah his reputation precedes him right
Swayze was the best the best in business
they knew who he was they brought him in
to clean up the double deuce that's an
artist spoil it but it's it's a great
film as a gearhead what are your
thoughts on the Fast & Furious franchise
I love The Fast & Furious franchise it's
funny cuz Vin Diesel's character is very
complex Vin Diesel's character as
two modes sitting around and talking
about the importance of family and
beating the [ __ ] out of everyone I know
people who talk about the importance of
family but they don't simultaneously
beat the [ __ ] out of everybody and then
I know people have beat up people but
they rarely talk about family he does
both like simultaneously in the in those
movies it's awesome well there's a witch
with Cobras coming out of her head who's
screaming so it can't be hot I don't
think about all hot stuff is it the
first couple of bites are really like
did someone give me a McNugget and then
it just like comes in right yeah this is
awesome so know that your love for cars
is more than just a hobby in 2012 you
won the Long Beach Grand Prix Pro
celebrates and recently purchased a
vintage Porsche that was once owned by
Paul Newman for more than four million
dollars at auction yeah so with that in
mind what I want to do is hit you with
some of the most infamous car inspired
rap lyrics in hip-hop history I'm just
curious how they hit the ear of a scroll
oh okay this first one is from Kanye
West off diamonds from Sierra Leone what
happened to that guy he used to pop up
in the news all the time is he like on
sabbatical or something Yeah right I
haven't heard from him in a while I
gotta tell you that guy's publicist cuz
he's a good artist he's deserves to be
heard
if your stripper named Portia and you
get tips from many men then your fat
friend her nickname is minivan uh-huh
it's good you know Portia it could be a
914 it could be 924 could be 944 could
be a 954 it could be 935 you know
there's a lot of different Porsches so
it'd be nice if he got specific with the
model do you think Porsche Boxster US
would be a good name for a stripper I
get it if the product song would be 11
minutes long you're getting too specific
with things but for this car guy would
hop it out yeah for this guy I like
specifics this next one's from notorious
b.i.g off hypnotized Frank white pushed
the six of the Lexus LX four-and-a-half
bulletproof glass tints if I want some
ass so he was shot in an event at the
Petersen Automotive Museum and he was
shot in the car but he was rapping about
bulletproof glass before being shot in
the car as a norm ik dot 'old would do
note to self never rap about bulletproof
glass last one huh
white J's white Porsche white wrist
white horse hi [ __ ] hi [ __ ] hi [ __ ]
hi [ __ ] I'd like to just reincarnate
like I'd like to just summon Buddy Holly
up anything if you knew Peggy Sue
then you know why I feel blue about
banging my Peggy Sue I like to just
bring him back and go hey buddy future
music what do you think just gonna be so
happy you died in that plane crash
[Music]
this is the last dab we call it the last
dab because it's tradition around here
to put a little extra on the last wing
you don't have to if you don't want to
but you're quick on the draw
oh well come on what am I gonna do
what's out at this stage of the game
look at you
nice healthy last dab there yeah so
what's this one call the last dab oh it
is okay I can't tell the difference
between art and life here I don't know
if you're reading a bottle or speaking
of me okay Adam here we are at the end
of our spice journey and over the course
of the hot ones gauntlet we've talked a
lot about pet peeves a lot about
complaining a lot about the things that
bother us but I want to flip the script
and talk about something that you love
and that's crows love grows can you tell
me why you love those squawking Birds so
much and describe it to me in as much
detail as possible okay I'm glad you
asked me that question chef I feel like
we're wasting crows the crows fly around
the park that pick up the cigarette
butts they drop them off in exchange for
a corn nut or whatever a treat that can
easily be taught the crows communicate
with one another they like mourn their
dead if they use tools like if the crow
gets a nut and can't crack it with its
beak it'll leave it out in the road wait
for a car to run over it it's not a pod
it's not a group it's a
murder a murder of crows rains down upon
your head beaks and talents what are you
gonna do hold your ground
we need attack crows we have canine
units with dogs it's nighttime I want to
go to the 7-eleven and get a granola bar
I walk out of the 7-eleven at night some
gangbanger jumps out confronts me pulls
a knife on me
he's got the bandana down here sack a
fat dog
and I'm just laughing cuz I'm like three
two one [ __ ] and the crows just come
right down on their head everyone thinks
I'm insane this shall happen it's
already happening I guarantee we're
already working a lot of good points
there Adam and I can't fight with any of
them and look at you you legend here
with the sport coat on ten chicken wings
up ten chicken wings down and your
glasses didn't even fog up that much and
now there's nothing left to do but roll
out the red carpet for you my man this
camera this camera this camera let the
people know what you have going on in
your life oh well I corrected a botched
circumcision from many years ago Oh in
terms of plugs oh you can watch and curl
a show you can see the podcast 1 or
Apple pods where we find your podcasts
the iTunes go damn Kroll com live shows
everywhere get a little swag get a
little merch by the way if you're gonna
eat hot chicken wings get a little
endless rant IPA or lager wash down with
that crow it drinks
[Music]
if you're a scientist and you have to
study crows and you have to go out and
get eggs from like a crows nests and
stuff
you literally must wear a mask of you
know Halloween mask or Richard Nixon
like whatever it is because if you then
at the end of your day of work of
studying crows walk out to your car in
the parking lot the crows will attack
you because they recognize you as a guy
who's [ __ ] with their eggs so that's
how crows are bill hey what's going on
spice Lords I know you're wondering why
is he shaking that bottle why is he
shaking that bottle it's because I'm
excited to announce that the last dab
products is available now the last dab
with chocolate pepper X and pepper X
you've seen your favorite celebrities
dabbing wings on the show and now you
can dab your wings at home Heaton is
calm Heaton is calm to order who
appreciates his spice Lords me
[Music]