- Today we ask the age-old question: - Will it pizza?
Let's talk about that.
♪ (theme music) ♪
- Goooooood Mythical Morning! - Well, it's been a while since we've
found out if something "will"... (laughs) so let's find out today!
- Should we? - We should!
A lot of you have suggested Will It Pizza? and, ah... okay. We have basically the
worst pizza party ever just out of frame over here...
- The smell alone! - that we are going to enjoy
for your sake. So let's get right into it and answer the question,
(in unison over dramatic music) Will It Pizza?
I, for one, am excited about this first pizza.
Yeah, I thought we could start in a place that you would think you
- were gonna be excited. - Yeah, the comfort zone!
Your favorite food... beans!
(in unison over dramatic music) Beans... Will It Pizza?
Okay, so here we go! On the Good Mythical Morning Pizza Plank, we have...
- A lotta beans! - Bean Pizza. So, it's a normal crust--
all of these are gonna be normal crust. The sauce is refried beans.
- Of course. - The cheese is mozzarella cheese.
- Why not? - And then we've thrown everything that
has the word "bean" in the title on top of it.
- I see green beans, kidney beans, ah... - Black beans.
Black beans, white beans, butter beans? That's like a lima bean.
- Lima bean. - I don't care, I love beans.
(Link) This is like a fart pie.
All right, let's dig in here. You wanna toast? We don't have to do that every time.
- Just this one. Just the first one. - All right, here we go.
Breaking the seal.
- Mm. Some are crunchier than others. - I can feel the fiber forming right now.
You know? That is not bad at all for a guy who likes beans.
I don't have anything to say about it. It's just beans on a pizza.
Yeah, I mean... pretty much perfect. Right?
Well... let my lower G.I. weigh in a little bit later.
I would take another bite, but I've got a few pizzas left, so...
- It's a super food, right? - Yeah, definitely.
Okay. Will it pizza?
(in unison) Yes!
Okay, it's pretty common to have a carb-heavy side, you know?
- Yes... - They like to sell breadsticks with pizza
- and stuff like that? - It makes little sense to me.
Reach in a bag? Well, why not a musical instrument that also doubles as a snack,
the Bugle.
(in unison over dramatic music) Bugles... Will It Pizza?
- (laughs) - Bring in the Bugles! Now, this looks
dangerous. I've burned the roof of my mouth on a pizza before, but I've never
- punctured it. - This looks like something you'd find at
- the bottom of the ocean. - (laughs) Yeah, it's kinda movin' and...
a fish goes over it and then it stings it.
- I can definitely anticipate some crunch. - (Link) Now, if it goes up through the
- roof of my mouth, it could kill me. - It'll hit your brain.
- Yeah, I could die instantly. - Yep. Here we go.
(crunches)
- Mm! - Whoah. Mm!
- Marinara, cheese, and Bugles. - Woo!
- (laughs) - You'd be the life of the party,
- you walk in with this thing! - (laughs) Sharp...
I'm gonna go for another bite. I can't resist.
There's an element of danger here. Lots of saltiness, a good crunch. I'm really
lovin' this. Will it pizza?
- (Rhett) Uh huh. - (Link) Yes.
Okay, that Bugle Pizza looked like something that could have been on the
bottom of the ocean, but now we're actually gonna go to the ocean and come
back with something raw and put it on a pizza.
Sushi!
(in unison over dramatic music) Sushi... Will It Pizza?
I know that you are personally excited about this.
- I am not excited at all about this. - You're such a big sushi fan.
- (Link) I do not like sushi. - (Rhett) There's a lot of green on this.
We have a wasabi sauce. Basically, the whole base is wasabi. Then we've got
Rainbow Roll, consisting of a couple of different types of fish, and then
we've got the ginger just sort of laid in there on the top.
Oh my gosh!
- (Rhett) What can go wrong? - (Link) Well, I'm not gonna like it,
that's one thing that's gonna be guaranteed to happen.
(laughs) I'm thinking that the wasabi reaction's gonna be pretty strong based
on the amount of green that I see, okay? Three, two, one.
(Eddie laughs)
- I'm gonna open a restaurant. - Uh uh.
- This is not bad at all! - I'm gonna go ahead and tell you,
this is not as bad as I thought it would be 'cause that toothpastey stuff...
- Wasabi. - is overpowering everything else.
It's strong, it's good, it's got a nice kick to it, it's only been out for about
- three hours... - Ladies and gentlemen, you've just
witnessed the first time that I've eaten sushi with raw fish in it and not retched.
- It's still in my mouth! - You're chipmunking it right now,
- though, I can tell. C'mon. Get it down. - All right. All right, I just turned over
a new leaf! There was sushi pizza underneath it.
I think that's good enough for us to conclude... will it pizza?
(in unison) Yes!
Okay, this next pizza is gonna take years to digest.
Seven years, to be exact. Bubblegum!
(in unison over dramatic music) Bubblegum... Will It Pizza?
- Okay. - Now, this is a purdy pizza, people!
- I mean, look at this! - I think you could satisfy a party,
- probably for children. - Aw, yeah. I'm pretty excited about...
- What is the sauce under there? - The sauce is... what?
- (Eddie) The sauce is marinara sauce. - Oh, marinara sauce.
- The sauce is marinara sauce. - 'Cause it's a pizza.
But the cheese is Big League Chew shredded gum.
- (Rhett) Big League Chew, yeah. - (Link) Two different flavors.
Big League Chew has always been asking to be cheese.
The toppings are Super Bubble, and then the type of gum that you... gumballs.
Yeah. My bet is this is gonna be a little tough to get down. I think I'm gonna get
- the marinara and the bread down. - (Link) Oh, man. Mmhmm! Okay.
- Here we go. - Let's do it.
(Link) Auum.
Marinara does not belong in this scenario.
It's like gymnastics are happening in my mouth. I'm trying to get the edible
ingredients around the gum. Oh, gosh! But they're definitely being perverted
- by the gum. - (gulps)
(crew laughs)
(both laugh)
- You faked me out, man! - Mm! Okay. Let's stress the positives,
here. Every time you take a bite out of this pizza, you get a mouthful of gum.
- This pizza will last all week. - I could be eating this pizza for a month.
- Yeah, mmhm. - I don't know. Will it pizza?
- The gum part's really great. - I don't think it will pizza.
- (Link) That's not the question. - No.
- Will it pizza? - (in unison) Nah.
For this next one, we really had you single guys in mind. You're at home alone,
you've got a pizza crust and then everything in the door of your
refrigerator. Condiments.
(in unison over dramatic music) Condiments... Will It Pizza?
- This has a mayonnaise base... - (Link) And then it's got all the
condiments from a single man's refrigerator door.
(Rhett) Ketchup, mustard, steak sauce, ranch dressing, hot sauce,
- and barbeque sauce. - It looks good.
- I'm appetized already. - (mocking) I'm appetized...
(Link) Now, if I were to smell this first, which I'm gonna do...
- Gnh! - Ooh.
This is the kinda thing that you'd see at Wolfgang Puck's Pizza.
- Hey, maybe it'll be good. - The mayonnaise is pretty strong,
- I can smell it already. - (Link) Let's give it a try.
Three, two... bert!
- Tangy. - Saucy.
- Agh. - It's amazing how I can taste each one
- of those ingredients. - I can really taste the mayonnaise.
- It's putrid. - Mayonnaise, ranch, steak sauce, ketchup,
- Eugh. - mustard...
- I'm on the verge of gagging! - Hot sauce. It's layered! You know what?
- You like it? - This could catch on on college campuses
everywhere. Of course, I'm having trouble getting it down. (laughs)
- Yes. It's almost like it's rotten. - (laughs)
- (laughs) - Mayonnaise was a mistake. That's
- not the first time I've said that. - (both laugh)
Okay, so we learned something. When you're gonna make your condiment pizza,
- Exclude mayonnaise. - exclude mayonnaise. Will it pizza?
(in unison) No.
Okay, for this one we have our British friends in mind.
- They like to enjoy a spot of tea... - Yeah.
- What about a whole pizza of... - (in unison) Tea!
(in unison over dramatic music) Tea... Will It Pizza?
It's basically cheese... pesto! We've got pesto and cheese.
- Pesto's very aromatic. It goes with tea. - Right.
- I think we've got a good chance here. - A good chance of what?
- Of this pizza-ing. - Oh, really?
Yeah, there's two different types of tea. There's the ground-up tea bag tea,
as a general base, and then there's loose leaf tea on top of it.
And you can sprinkle additional tea to taste. (laughs)
(Link) Yeah, this is kind of like our parmesan, here.
What happens in your intestines if you do this? You make tea in your stomach!
Yeah. And then you could probably bottle and sell it if you knew how to catch it.
- Stomach Tea. (laughs) - Now, smell this.
Whoa, it's very-- oh, there's herbal in there.
- Yeah, it's-- mm! - Earl Grey, maybe.
All right. Three, two, one.
(gags)
Kinda crunchy!
- (groans) - (crew laughs)
I take that back. It makes tea in your mouth!
- (laughs) I am not hating this. - What?!
- (crew laughs) - At all.
- Your mouth is broken, man! - I like the crunch.
What is wrong you with you? You need to be evaluated. Golly!
- (Link) Really? - (gags)
- Yeah. - (Rhett) Ugh! Gah!
- It's good! - It's not good!
Will it pizza?
- (Rhett) No! - (Link) Yes!
All right, I like the crunch of the tea, but I don't know if I'm gonna like the
crunch of this next one. We thought we would give it a shot.
- What about beach sand? - Oh, yeah!
(in unison over dramatic music) Sand... Will It Pizza?
Okay, um... this one is very decorative. Now, we started with some beach sand.
Why did we start with beach sand? Why did we even start there?
Just think of it like a paradise at the beach. Like a Beach Vacation Pizza.
We've got beach sand, but then we also added coconut.
Coconut, you definitely associate that with the islands.
- And we put piles of sea salt on it. - (snorts)
So piles of sea salt and piles of beach sand with a little bit of coconut, and
- I've also got some drizzle here. - Some drizzle!
- This is... - (Rhett) Suntan oil.
- (Link) Just a little bit of drizzle. - (Rhett) Like a Hawaiian tropic situation.
Put a little drizzle on mine... drizzle, drizzle.
- It smells very coconutty and very salty. - It smells like a day at the beach.
- It smells like paradise. - Actually, it smells like if you got in
- a fight at the beach. - Yeah, that's what you're about
- to feel like. - Let's see how it tastes.
Okay, here we go.
Oh, gah...
(crunches)
- The crust is exquisite. - How you feel about the crunch
- on this one, Link? - Oh, the crunch is horrible!
(Link) I might have to spit this out.
I'm afraid I'll shrivel up and turn into a raisin if I swallow it.
(retches) Oh, gosh. Oh, man.
We should call this Riptide. You get caught in the riptide and they bring you
- back in, and then... - Yeah.
- And it's all this crap in your lungs. - Yeah, you'll put it on the menu,
but no one should ever order it. (gruffly) Ah, they'll never order it.
- Let's charge $80 for it. - (gruffly) Riptide.
(normally) Will it pizza?
(in unison) No!
Okay, a lot of people think that we're stupid because of these eating
challenges... but we're not, because we're about to eat brains! (laughs)
(in unison over dramatic music) Brains... Will It Pizza?
- All right, bring it in. - All right.
- Isn't this stupid? - No, it's smart. Because it's got brains!
People-- okay, all right. So we're calling this a zombie pizza.
So here's the deal, just to set the stage here.
- (Link) Look at it. - (Rhett) The sauce is congealed pig
blood. The brains are pig brains, and in case that wasn't enough, we also have
- head cheese, which I learned today-- - Gotta have cheese on a pizza.
It's different parts of a cow's head, inside the brain...
- Mushed together... - Mushed together into a cheese format.
- And then sliced. - (gags) Oh no.
(Rhett laughs) You can't vomit before we eat it, man!
- (groans) And why are the slices so big? - Hey, this pizza has thoughts.
- Pig thoughts. - And cow thoughts.
And cow thoughts! Like, (gruffly) Where's the food? (normally) It actually doesn't--
- (gags) Oh, no. - (laughs) Okay, c'mon now.
I hadn't really thought this through ahead of time.
- Is that a pun? - (all laugh)
- No. Ain't trying to be funny. - (silly voice) I don't know what I think
about this one. (normally) C'mon, let's do it, man.
(quietly) I've really gotta get angry at this to do it.
- Who are we fooling, man? - Right, right, right, right, right.
- C'mon! - Oh gosh, c'mon, c'mon, let's do a
countdown! (growls) I'm so angry at this pizza!
- Three! - (in unison) Two!
- One!
(gags)
(retches)
- There's a hard part-- - (retches)
(retches and spits repeatedly)
- You make this difficult! - Eugh!
(drawn-out moans)
- (spits) - (crew laughs)
Oh! I'm shivering!
- You can do it, man. You can do it. - I got a little bit down.
- Eugh. Oh, gosh. - Okay, now listen. I'm gonna take off the
- protective barrier of my nose plugs. - Oh, I didn't have one of those.
- That's why you-- - (gags) Ugh!
- There's bones in this. - (retches)
(retches)
Ohhhh my gosh.
- Paper towel, please. - Put it in your mouth. Put the paper
towel all the way in your mouth. That'll help.
I'm crying. I have tears running down my face. Eugh. Swallow that swish.
- Well, that's-- - (violently retches)
(all laugh)
- I usually don't do that! - Yeah, it would've gone--
If something would've come out, it would've hit the ceiling, the camera,
and that!
Okay, let's go ahead and answer the question. Will it pizza?
(in unison) No!
Thanks... for learning, for hanging with us, for liking and commenting
- on this episode. - (roughly) You know what time it is.
I'm Ethan from Erie, Pennsylvania, and we're homeschoolers.
(in unison) And it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality!
We've got an Instagram and we don't put any pictures of pig brains on there.
But every Wednesday we put waffles up for Waffle Wednesday! Think waffle thoughts.
Click through to Good Mythical More where we invite the crew to enjoy some of these
- pizzas that have been created. - Oh, so good.
- (Rhett) Interpretive dance. - (Link) Okay. You want me to dance?
- Yeah, 'cause I don't feel like dancing. - Oh.
Why don't you reinterpret what just happened?
(dramatically over African music) The pig... walks... (laughs)
around thinking pig thoughts. He thinks to himself:
One day, my brain will be turned into a pizza that will go
onto an internet show where it's consumed by two imbeciles. And you
know what I think about that as a pig? A pig who loves mud, a pig who loves
to hang out with other pigs and eat scraps? I think, "It was all worth it."
[Captioned by Caitrin: GMM Captioning Team]