the night was really fun just because finally i got to put like a face with
this process and some of my friends and family being there to celebrate
it was fun you look like you're enjoying yourself there it was a good day the couple in the book
didn't know it was coming oh that's a safe statement looking back like when i kissed her
it was like a weird sort of pullback kiss where she was like actively trying not to kiss me
we weren't on the same page obviously and i just don't know that there was any kind of common
ground that we could reach without instinctually based physical attraction just ready for you
great thank you and now for you a little more wine
please i think that all that we can do from this point on like even though maybe we haven't held
up the vowels that we thought that we were going to hold up both of us not just one
all we can do now is be positive and try to move forward for the next month
yeah yeah i don't know i kind of felt you're being a little tentative oh
i don't disagree but you don't agree i just don't know if that's like a good oh i don't know
so what do you want to say well it's just what can we vow to do differently than we've done the
first four weeks that would actually progress make a difference right that's the thing like
that's the toughest part for me through this process is like i don't know how to approach
trying to make a connection with you i would like to try i don't know how to do that either
for me i don't think that there right now there is no like romantic connection
like and i don't have a problem usually connecting with people and that's what's really fur and i
know it's frustrating for you but like it's super frustrating for me too yeah i've never been with
somebody that doesn't have any attraction to me so it's very awkward for me to try and approach you
and sort of woo you knowing that that's kind of why i feel like you look past me so
don't know i mean i don't i don't want you to feel that way i really don't i don't think that meeting
him and going through this challenge of marriage has changed my views on marriage or commitment
i think that when we met each other we were super optimistic we wanted to be married we
wanted to have a great relationship we were open and then things hit a roadblock and now neither
one of us know how to handle it going forward yes we said we wanted to try but did either one of us
give that full fighting effort i'm not sure that we did i didn't know that you felt that way and
i didn't know that i was giving that off so how long have you felt that way since about day four
oh so you're just now bringing it up one month then yeah okay
i was receptive to you within those first four days and i was enjoying
us but you were not enjoying us and i didn't know that
and then since we have not had a connection and the connection we did have apparently wasn't real
and well you tell me was that connection the first three or four days that i thought we
can actually fix this four days exactly okay the rest of the couples had a connection in four days
well i backed away and i'm sorry for that and i told you that a million times
i need to have some kind of bond before i'm cool with you like touching all over me okay it's
not like i've been forcing anything just for the reason i know but you haven't but i'm just saying
touching all over you it's the disgusted sigh when we hugged for like the one hug a day thing
that like really put me off was like okay i'm kind of done with trying that because i felt like
it always came back to something that was physical touch it's a hug that's just how i felt it's a hug
i feel like because we're married you're putting way too much weight on like every little thing
and then you feel trapped how do you know what weight i'm putting on anything it's a hug
you hug strangers you smile and you're happy yeah
and guess what and when you hug me i don't have to see them ever again
when you hug me yeah well don't worry in four weeks you want to see me ever again
you can so then what are we doing here i don't know
i feel like we keep ending up back here and i'm kind of done with it
you