Oh, hi! It's you guys! Uh... have you noticed that progressivism is ruining entertainment?
Chicks and diversity has to be in everything. I know this has been around for a long time, and it's very obviously... commercials everyone
has to be mixed race and stuff and look, I have a pink phone. I have a visible minority family; I get it. It exists.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
But even if I was a progressivist liberal, I would go: "can you stop cramming my own agenda, cramming homework into ALL of my entertainment?"
You're ruining it! Like that show Black Mirror on Netflix, awesome show, unbelievably well-written. Shocking.
You know how they say Christopher Hitchens was freakishly good at debating? This show is freakishly well-written.
But everyone has to be black and we need to have a perfect pizza pie of genders and preferences in every episode
It's distracting. And it's boring. And I noticed this when I was watching Star Wars.
Now I don't, I'm an adult and I don't think it's normal that adults care a lot about Star Wars.
Sorry guys, don't freak out! Don't threaten to kill me! But I have kids. And I'm watching it, going...
...you have this cool chick in it, and she's got her lightsaber, and you go: "Chicks don't do that, you just ruined the movie."
And by the way, you're bad at your own agenda. That black guy you made, the storm trooper dude,
you made him to be such a sweetheart that he has no personality. He's just like this empty Don Cheadle robot who's just...
...anyone's dog for a bone. "Hi. What's that? I don't exist. I'm basically the dog from Battlestar Galactica."
And then now the new one is coming out, and they're going to ruin that, too. Lemme explain something to you about the vast majority of humans:
Boys -- and not even all boys, but let's say a good 72% of boys -- have fantasies about going "Pow pow, pzew pzew pzew pzew pzew pzew!"
The wimp boys don't. And, as far as girls go, *pffff*, maybe 5%. Maybe the tomboys, it's very rare.
They usually end up being lesbians. They have fantasies about that. But now, because we have to ram this diversity down everyone's throat,
it's all about chicks, and it's all about anti-male, and even if you do agree with that, why are you ruining science fiction
with it? I just read the other day, what did it say that one of the writers, he said: "Please note..." (he's Miles McInnes, basically) "...that the Empire
is a white supremacist" and then he puts in brackets: (human). If you are white supremacist and you're not a human, it's not racist.
'Cause you're not a human. Like, no one cares about white robots being white supremacists, or white lizards.
So, you don't have to add "human," you fucking moron. But yeah, it's a white supremacist human organization,
and then another guy adds that, this is the other writer for Rogue One (the first guy was, what, Chris Weitz, and the other guy is Gary Whitta.)
He goes "Opposed by a multicultural..." I can't even do it without laughing! These guys are being super serious about their super awesome new Star Wars
"...opposed by a multicultural group led by brave women." Ooh, I'm scared! Stop trying to scare me, I'm not scared of that!
I just go "That doesn't happen." It's like Nick DiPaolo says "I can't watch movies anymore. I can't, uh, my suspension of disbelief can't handle...
"...Angelina Jolie beating up six berets. Green berets." But okay, check out this commercial, let's show the Nissan one.
This is, you know how your mom is always fantasizing when she's driving about being shot at by spaceships? 'Cause women love science fiction so much.
You checked off the box of Nissan, Nissan. You checked off the box of the movie. You checked off the box of diversity, great.
You fit all three into this commercial. You forgot plausibililty. No women have this fantasy!
Yeah, please initiate simulation. Ooh, I'd better move! Swerve! Watch out for the big thing with the feet!
It's gonna get you, Mom! Stop! A droid that's valuable might be crossing the street. Whew. "Honey, I did a droid simulation...
"... on the way home from my friend's tea party where we talked about Real Housewives all night, and I almost hit a droid."
I almost hit a *black* droid. Human matters! And this goes back to, Duracell had a similar ad but it was for girls, and I really want you to see.
Skip ahead to right when the kid is fighting in the hallway. This is plausible, right? This little Aryan boy fighting them. *Pzew! Pzew! Pzew!* Yes!
Most boys have this fantasy, and it's really awesome, by the way.
Dad: "Everything okay, bud?"
Boy: "I'm not sure yet..."
Mom: "Hurry..."
Stop, stop! Out of the two people that are gonna run up to a kid, who's -- by the way, has Aspergers, he has mental problems
if he's panting from a Stormtrooper fantasy. "They're upstairs, Mom!" ... Give your kid less Adderall.
But the Mom does not run up and hand her son the lightsaber. Moms don't do that.
"You goin' outside to play cowboys and indians, son? Here, take this six gun. *Pew! Pew!* Blow their fuckin' heads off, boy."
So, he goes outside and you can't miss this girl.
Boy: "Lisa!"
Lisa: "What took you so long?"
Stop! Did you see that?! She might as well have a glass of bourbon and a cigar in her mouth. "What took you so long?"
Like, that's *more* than Indiana Jones.
She's tougher than Indiana Jones. Show that again.
Lisa: "What took you so long?"
Then she beats up two men whose only job in life is *murdering*.
Women don't have these fantasies. "We need more female superheroes!" No we don't.
Women don't fantasize about breaking a bank robbery apart and getting all the bad guys. They're not as strong as us, for one.
Alright, that's enough.
I'm especially pissed off 'cause I waited forever for Jason Bourne to get on demand, and I had to pay $15.99 'cause it was only available to buy.
And I'm watching it, going: "Wait a minute. Why is this insanely hot woman over 50% of the movie? What's her role, now?"
Oh she's a hacker. She's a hacker? She's a hacker who's going to bring Jason Bourne back. By the way Jason Bourne's mad at the government
because they killed his fucking father. And this chick is the hacker who's going to find him, and go: "We need you back, buddy. What took you so long?"
Hackers don't look like this.
Hackers look like *this*.
You just ruined another movie by CRAMMING your agenda into it.
Look, I'm not liberal, but it's gotta get to the point now where even liberals are going: "Can you stop cramming your homework into my entertainment?!"
By the way, just as I said with Ghostbusters, this Rogue One is going to flop.
Hi folks. That was a Rebel Media short. I have my own show on Rebel Media called "How's It Goin, Eh?" you gotta pay for that one.
Check it out right here.