>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND JON BATISTE.
HELLO, JON BATISTE.
>> Jon: HELLO, HELLO, PEACE IN MY SOUL.
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOU?
>> Stephen: DID YOU MANAGE TO HAVE A PEACEFUL, PRODUCTIVE
WEEKEND?
DID YOU LET IT ALL GO?
WHAT DID YOU DO?
>> Jon: I WATCHED A MOVIE YOU SENT ME.
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS THAT MOVIE.
>> Jon: DELGADO'S MOVIE "IN AND OF ITSELF."
MAN, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE WHAT THE MOVIE IS BUT
GO SEE IT.
IT TELLS YOU ABOUT YOURSELF IN A WAY YOU DON'T REALIZE UNTIL THE
END.
I LOVED IT.
IT WAS AMAZING.
>> Stephen: I'M SO GLAD.
WE'RE REALLY PROUD OF IT.
EVIE AND I PRODUCED IT, FRANK OZ DIRECTED IT.
IT'S AVAILABLE ON HULU STARTING FRIDAY.
>> Stephen: CHECK IT OUT.
I LOVED IT.
I'M GOING TO WATCH IT AGAIN IF THE LINK STILL WORKS THAT YOU
SENT ME.
>> Stephen: I'LL GET YOU MY HULU PASSWORD IF IT DOESN'T.
SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT.
JON BATISTE, DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC YOU'RE INSPIRED TO PLAY
FOR US AS WE GO OUT?
>> Jon: YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHO... ♪♪♪
>> Stephen: HAPPY KING DAY.
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
FOLKS, THIS WEEK IT ISN'T JUST THE
PRESIDENT WHO'S LEAVING THE WHITE HOUSE, BECAUSE MELANIA
TRUMP IS ALSO GETTING READY TO MAKE THE TRANSITION FROM "FIRST
LADY" TO "UN-NUMBERED DAME."
AND THIS AFTERNOON, SHE RELEASED A FAREWELL ADDRESS.
>> IT HAS BEEN AN HONOR TO REPRESENT AMERICAN PEOPLE
ABROAD.
I TREASURE EACH OF MY EXPERIENCES AND THE INSPIRING
PEOPLE I HAVE MET ALONG THE WAY.
AS I SAY FAREWELL TO MY ROLE AS FIRST LADY, IT IS MY SINCERE
HOPE THAT EVERY AMERICAN WILL DO THEIR PART TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE BEST.
>> STEPHEN: OH, I THINK YOUR MESSAGE WAS CLEAR TO "THE
CHILDREN."
PARTICULARLY THE BOOGALOO BOIS THE PROUD BOYS, AND THE CHILDREN
OF THE CORN.
IT WAS RARE TO HEAR FROM THE FIRST LADY WHO HAS BEEN MOSTLY
SILENT SINCE THE INSURRECTION AT THE CAPITOL EARLIER THIS MONTH.
BUT SHE'S BEEN BUSY.
IN FACT, IT'S REPORTED THAT, WHILE THAT DEADLY ATTACK WAS
HAPPENING, THE FIRST LADY WAS OVERSEEING A PHOTO SHOOT OF
RUGS, FURNITURE, AND DECORATIVE OBJECTS IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
I'M GONNA GUESS... REARRANGING THE DECK CHAIRS.
AND APPARENTLY THE FIRST LADY SEES HERSELF AS ONE OF THE
VICTIMS OF THIS ATTACK BECAUSE AFTER DAYS OF SILENCE, SHE
RELEASED A STATEMENT THAT SAID, IN PART, "I AM DISAPPOINTED AND
DISHEARTENED WITH WHAT HAPPENED LAST WEEK.
I FIND IT SHAMEFUL THAT SURROUNDING THESE TRAGIC EVENTS
THERE HAS BEEN SALACIOUS GOSSIP, UNWARRANTED PERSONAL ATTACKS,
AND FALSE MISLEADING ACCUSATIONS ON ME."
HER HUSBAND GOT A MOB TO ATTACK CONGRESS AND SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT
GOSSIP?
THAT'S LIKE THE WIFE OF JOHN WILKES BOOTH GOING "YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH, THE FORD'S THEATER THING.
BUT PEOPLE REALLY NEED TO STOP TALKING SMACK ABOUT MY SHAWL."
NOW, ONE THING THE FIRST LADY DID NOT MENTION IN HER ADDRESS
TODAY IS WHAT SHE WILL BE DOING AFTER LEAVING THE WHITE HOUSE.
AND AFTER FOUR YEARS OF STANDING -- WHILE HER HUSBAND HAS BEEN
FIGHTING TO STAY IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
THERE ARE REPORTS MELANIA WANTS TO GO HOME AND CAN'T WAIT TO GET
BACK TO NEW YORK.
WELL, OVER THE YEARS, THE FIRST LADY HAS APPEARED ON THIS SHOW
NUMEROUS TIMES-- AND TONIGHT, SO HERE WITH AN EXCLUSIVE
MESSAGE TO THE NATION, ONE LAST TIME, FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP.
>> THANK YOU, STEPHEN.
I HAVE SPENT THE LAST FOUR YEARS SERVING IN THE WHIT
>> THANK YOU, STEPHEN.
I HAVE SPENT THE LAST FOUR YEARS SERVING IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
BUT ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END-- ALSO THIS.
AND THE TRAGIC EVENTS OF THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS, AS WELL AS
ALL OF THE ONES FROM THE YEARS BEFORE, HAVE MADE ME REALIZE I
NEED TO THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT WHAT I SHOULD DO NEXT--
OKAY, THOUGHT OF IT!
I'M DITCHING THAT LOSER AND MOVING BACK TO NEW YORK, BABY!
IT'S SO GOOD TO BE IN N.Y.C.
THE BE-BESTEST CITY ON EARTH.
THE HUGE APPLE.
THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS WITH A PORN STAR THEN LIES TO YOU
ABOUT IT.
BEING HERE MAKES ME FEEL-- WHICH IS SOMETHING I DON'T NORMALLY
DO.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ HEY, NEW YORK
NEW YORK HAVE YOU MISSED ME?
♪ JUST AS MUCH AS I MISSED YOU?
♪ PRETTY TOWN HOME TO PRETTY PEOPLE
♪ AND ALSO YOU KNOW WHO HERE I AM
♪ IT'S YOUR MELANIA I'M ALL YOURS, LOVELY N.Y.C.
♪ IN NEW YORK WITH ALL MY NEW YORKERS
♪ WHO CAN'T WAIT TO SAY >> (
>> YOU SUCK!
>> WEAR A MASK!
>> (
>> YOU SUCK!
>> SUCH COLORFUL CHARACTERS WITH THEIR LOCAL EXPRESSIONS!
"I'M WALKIN' HERE," "FUGEDDABOUTWHAT."
♪ THERE GOES MY DRIVER, NICE TO SEE YOU...JEFFREY?
♪ NEW YORK IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
♪ NO ONE PUTS ME IN A RAGE ASKING 'BOUT KIDS IN A CAGE
♪ I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT THAT DO YOU?
♪ DONALD'S NOT HERE BUT I CAN SPEND HIS MONEY
♪ AND I'M BELOVED WHEN I GO OUT >> SHE'S COMPLETELY NUTS.
>> WE HATE HER FRIGGIN' GUTS.
>> ♪ I'D HATE TO BE THE ONE THEY'RE TALKING 'BOUT ♪
OKAY, SO THEY DON'T LIKE MY HUSBAND?
WHO DOES?
I'M WITH YOU, SISTER!
I MEAN, THAT COULD BE ANY MELANIA.
OKAY, THAT ACTUALLY SEEMS KIND OF PERSONAL.
♪ STARTING TO WONDER IF NEW YORK DISLIKES ME
♪ WHAT IS THIS WORD: "COMPLICITY"?
♪ THAT RIOT ON THE MALL HURT MELANIA MOST OF ALL
♪ NO ONE IN EARTH IS BULLIED MORE THAN ME
♪ SOMETIMES I DREAM I STAYED IN SLOVENIA
♪ SOME GOATS, A FARM THE SIMPLE LIFE
♪ BUT NOW, SOMEHOW I'M THE FIRST LADY
♪ THERE MUST BE MORE THAN BEING HIS THIRD WIFE
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ OH, EVEN NEW YORK HATES ME THERE'S NO WHERE FOR ME
♪ I CAN THINK OF OH GOD!
♪ THERE'S ONLY ONE LAST OPTION WILL I HAVE TO MOVE BACK WITH
♪ MY HUSBAND WHO I... LOVE WE'LL PLAY GOLF AND
♪ SIT ON GOLDEN TOILET HEY, MARALAGO'S NOT A DUMP
♪ WILL THEY EVEN LIKE ME THERE?
DO THEY HATE ME EVERYWHERE?
♪ WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO IT WAS JUST ONE LOUSY COUP
♪ WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
ANOTHER (
YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND ♪ AND SAY YOU LOVE ME
IF YOU WANT TO ♪ >> WE HATE YOU LIKE YOU HATE
IVANKA!
>> THEN GOODBYE FOREVER INSINCERELY MELANIA TRUMP!
♪ ♪ ♪ TRUMP ♪
>> ♪ GOODBYE FOREVER MELANIA TRUMP ♪
>> FORGET THIS PLACE.
YOUR RESTAURANTS ARE CLOSED FOR SOME REASON ANYWAY!
I'M GOING TO THE SLOVENIAN CONSULATE.
JEFFREY... WHERE'S JEFFREY?
>> Stephen: THANK YOU FOR THAT MESSAGE, FIRST LADY.
AND ON A COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE, I WANT TO THANK LAURA
BENANTI FOR HER SERVICE TO A GRATEFUL NATION.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SENATOR CORY BOOKER.
♪ ♪ ♪