Sadhguru, what should be
the role of a good parent in today's world?
See, parenthood is a very funny thing
You're trying to do something
that
nobody has ever known how to do it well
Yes?
Nobody has ever known
what is the best way to parent their children
Even if you have 12 children,
you are still learning
You may raise eleven properly
the twelfth one can give you works, you know?
So..
But you want to do your best
what is the best thing you can do?
One foremost thing I would say is
First thing is to work upon yourself a little bit.
Spend sufficient time with yourself.
Look at yourself carefully
How you are?
How you sit?
How you stand?
How you speak? What you do?
What you don't do?
I think you must look at yourself very carefully
because the children are picking up everything rapidly
and they'll exaggerate everything that you're doing
So one foremost thing is,
At least
make yourself in such a way
that you would like to be.
Somebody may not approve.
It doesn't matter
At least you've made yourself in such a way
that you like the way you are
At least that much you must do
Maybe you cannot raise to somebody else's standards
We don't know what kind of standards they set for you
But at least you must become the way you like it
- the way you are
That is a must
But that will only create the necessary ambience
It still doesn't make you necessarily a good parent,
but it creates the necessary ambience
But creating the necessary ambience is a large part of parenthood,
large part.
If you create the right kind of atmosphere,
of a certain sense of joy
and love and care and discipline,
for yourself
and your home atmosphere,
generally they grow up.
Of course you want to provide opportunities for them.
Each one of us can provide opportunities
only to the extent it's available to us, isn't it?
Yes?
You cannot provide an opportunity for which you don't have access
You will always do according to your limitations
I am sure in that area you will do your best,
but the important thing is
what kind of human beings or brats you raise?
For that,
what kind of human being are you is an extremely important part of raising children
So if your wife became pregnant,
it's time for transformation for you
Because now another life is coming in
You yourself are the way you don't like yourself to be,
Definitely
one more need not go that way, isn't it?
So, becoming conscious of
what we are doing Is extremely important
What should we teach? What we should do?
I think one important thing
that you should teach your children is
That they learn to question everything
but not with suspicion
With a genuine wanting to know
Questioning can become a very sick thing
or a very healthy process
People question
because they already suspect everything is evil
This is a sickness
But the basic purpose of a question
- question is an instrument
which helps you to dig a little deeper than where you are,
isn't it so? Yes?
Question is essentially an instrument
with which you can dig a little deeper
That's the purpose of a question.
If you just bring this into your child's mind,
That a child can question anything including you,
the way you are
if you allow that,
in a healthy way, not in a sick way ,
questioning things
because you think something is wrong with everybody
If you bring this,
the child is constantly exercising his intelligence
This will not ensure
whether he's going to become a doctor,
engineer, this, that.
But one thing is clear
His intelligence is active
If you anyway put him through the necessary physical paces
to give them a healthy body
and an active intelligence,
and of course some level of education
according to what you can afford ,
and you bring him up
without any sense of identity,
without any sense of identity
if you can bring him up,
if you do not entangle his intelligence
by being identified to this or that,
that he is willing and open to everything
if you bring him up this way,
the best possible that he can make out of his life,
he will do
He may not become like somebody else
But he will grow to his maximum potential
Of course it depends on along the way who he meets,
what happens, what situations he gets into
Whether he comes into a spiritual space
or he goes into a war zone
- where he ends up who knows
Those things you cannot control, isn't it?
but if you create an atmosphere of love,
meditativeness, openness,
When you're not identified with anything,
naturally there is no sense of prejudice
If you bring up a child free of prejudice
in a loving,very open atmosphere,
generally, they do well,
but there is no guarantee
Because there are other influences in the society
You don't know into whose hands they'll fall tomorrow morning
Yes?
You may be doing your best
Tomorrow morning into whose hands your child will fall,
there is no insurance or guarantee
That's a risk that you're taking always
But the only thing is
- did you do your best or not?
That's all there is to life