Sometimes you just crave junk food.
This may be an inherent human trait when we are sad or in need of comfort.
Or perhaps a taste for sweet, fatty, unhealthy foods is ingrained in our DNA.
People in Medieval Europe loved their junk food.
There were entire sections of towns and cities that had fast food shops whose sole purpose
was to make junk food dishes.
It was at these fast food joints that you could buy mystery meat pies, funnel cakes
with some interesting toppings, and pretzels that would bring you good luck.
Medieval junk food could be delicious, but like junk food today, it could also be hazardous
to your health.
Would you survive eating a Medieval junk food diet?
Let’s find out!
For the most part, Medieval diets consisted of a lot of bread.
Vegetables and certain meats were available, but the lower classes, which made up most
of the inhabitants of Medieval Europe, could not afford any type of luxury items, including
most foods.
During the Middle Ages, take-out food was almost exclusively eaten by lower-class people.
There were a couple of reasons for this.
The first was that most people were too poor to have their own hearth or oven, so they
could not cook their own food.
The other reason was that the ingredients they needed were not readily available to
them, so these people needed to get takeout in order to meet their dietary needs.
The meat pie is a perfect example of both a fast food and junk food dish in Medieval
Europe.
We will be coming back to this questionable form of junk food, but basically, it was meat
wrapped up in bread dough and baked into a pie-like crust.
Oftentimes peasants would bring their own meat to a fast food joint—known as a cook
shop—or a bakery where the cook would take the meat, wrap it in their dough, cook it,
and sell it back to the customer.
Cookshops with ovens had a great advantage because poor people needed to rely on them
to cook their food.
It was almost like they had a monopoly on cooking appliances.
But even though meat pies were a favorite junk food for many, it was by no means the
only type of junk food available.
Some of the foods from Medieval times will sound delicious; others, not so much.
The people of Europe in the Middle Ages had some unique tastes, but their junk food options
were also confined by what was available in the region and what they could afford.
Get ready to go on a culinary journey into Medieval junk food.
Before we talk about the sweet and savory options, it should be mentioned that most
affluent people in the Middle Ages did not eat the junk food and fast food we will discuss.
These dishes were for the common men and women.
There are a few reasons for this, but most have to do with the lack of cleanliness at
the cookshops.
The ability to cook whatever they wanted at their castles and estates also meant that
wealthy landowners didn’t have to venture into the less desirable parts of town to get
the dishes they craved.
The rich wouldn’t want to mingle with the poor who visited the rows of cook shops, and
therefore, they did not partake in the same types of junk food.
What was the go-to junk food of the time, you might ask?
Well, it depends on what you were in the mood for.
There were always a variety of options for fast food and junk food in larger towns and
cities.
Let’s go back to the meat pies.
This type of Medieval junk food will likely sound good at first but eating it had big
risks.
Most of the time, it was better to bring your own meat to the cookshop rather than eating
what was already there.
We can kind of look at meat pies as the fast food hamburgers of Medieval times.
They were cheap, could be found pretty much everywhere, and were filled with mystery meat.
Hard-working peasants would often end their days in the fields or laboring at a shop and
head to their favorite meat pie establishment for dinner.
These dishes were hardy and able to fill up even the most hungry belly.
The only problem was that you had to be careful about which vendors you bought your meat pies
from.
Some unscrupulous characters would put spoiled meat into their pies and sell them as if everything
was fine.
Rather than losing money on tainted meat, cookshop vendors would disguise the tainted
meat within their meat pies.
Customers could find themselves chowing down on meat pies and becoming sick as the spoiled
meat entered their system.
The meat in meat pies was normally ground up, which made mixing good meat with tainted
meat easy to do without the customer’s knowledge.
The type of meat varied with what was available at the time, but most times, it would be pork,
beef, or a combination of both.
In some really shady cook shops, the proprietors would even sell meat pies that were days old
at a discount rather than just throw them away.
In these circumstances, customers would leave the shop with junk food that was likely to
make them very sick or worse.
Even if the meat inside the pie hadn’t spoiled, there was still a danger of consuming undercooked
meat when eating meat pies.
There were no cooking thermometers, and busy cook shops would churn out as many meat pies
as they could to satiate the junk food cravings of the masses.
Obviously, consuming undercooked meat, especially if it’s not of the best quality, can lead
to all kinds of problems.
Meat pies were definitely a favorite junk food during the Middle Ages and looked just
like a thicker version of a fruit pie, but there was another piece of junk food that
rivaled even this fast food favorite.
Pasties were similar to meat pies, except they were folded over like a calzone instead
of being baked in a circle.
The meat inside would be the same as in meat pies, but some people preferred the pasty
delivery method to the pie.
Either way, both meat pies, and pasties were a go-to junk food for people in Medieval times,
even if they occasionally got one with tainted meat inside.
Although some bread might not be considered a type of junk food now, in the Middle Ages,
it was everywhere.
However, very few people had the means to make it at home.
Almost everyone during the Medieval era got their bread from their local baker.
It’s at these shops that they could also secure other types of their favorite junk
foods.
Bakeries became so important to the common person that in 1350, London passed a law banning
bakers from charging over a penny for meat pies when people brought their own meat.
The nobles knew that if bakers were able to set their own prices, things would get out
of hand very quickly.
Bread was too important, and too many people relied on it for their survival.
It was a food staple while also being incorporated into a number of junk food dishes.
Therefore, the price needed to be controlled so peasants could afford bread and meat pies;
otherwise, there would be a revolt.
Perhaps the best example of how bread was used as a junk food was the invention of the
bread bowl in the Middle Ages.
These edible bowls were also called trenchers and were the ideal container for holding stews,
meats, or any other dish that had extra juices that could be soaked up.
The best part about the bread bowl was that once you were done eating what was inside
of it, you could eat your bowl too.
It was the perfect food container for the super hungry.
Bread bowls, and just bread in general, were consumed so often that the average carb intake
of a Medieval peasant was astounding.
This is where the junk food part of bread comes in.
Too many carbs can lead to increased blood sugar levels.
The excess consumption of bread meant that people in the Middle Ages likely had a high
rate of heart disease.
However, another carb-filled junk food was not only delicious but also said to bring
people good luck.
Pretzels were often baked by monks and members of the Catholic Church as a way to raise money
and as a junk food to keep people happy.
Pretzels were made from three simple ingredients: flour, water, and salt.
During times of fasting, when devout Christians were banned from eating meat and animal products,
pretzels became a junk food favorite.
The more salt, the tastier the loopy dough would be.
This could lead to high cholesterol, but when you crave a pretzel, your health is of little
importance.
Pretzels also came with an added benefit.
They were considered a symbol of good luck and prosperity.
And since the church backed these delicious snacks, they were a sign of spiritual wellbeing
as well.
So, although the pretzels of Medieval Europe may have been junk food, there was a lot of
upside to eating them.
This caused pretzels to become more and more popular, and variations on pretzel recipes
began to sprout up across the region.
Medieval junk food wasn’t just composed of snacks and late-night street food; there
was also a junk food that could be eaten early in the morning.
During the Middle Ages, waffles were invented.
Waffles, like pretzels, were produced by the church.
People could find them at bake shops; however, the best waffle-type junk food were the wafers
made by the Catholic Church using heated metal plates.
There is some evidence that these Medieval waffles even had Biblical scenes pressed into
them.
As crusaders came back from the Holy Land, they brought ingredients such as cinnamon
and cream back with them.
These delicacies were added to the waffles, making them a truly delectable form of junk
food.
Europeans during Medieval times liked their sweets.
By adding toppings and other ingredients to their waffle wafers, it became the ultimate
junk food.
However, it wasn’t until the 15th century that the Dutch created the rectangular grid
pattern that we associate with waffles today.
For many during Medieval times, junk food didn’t necessarily have to be food.
For example, during Lent, devout Catholics needed to fast.
During this time, many people turned to alcohol to get them through fasting.
Alcohol itself might not be a junk food, but it was used in a similar way.
People would find solace in drinking alcoholic beverages to keep their minds off of the food
they couldn’t have.
Like many types of junk food, alcohol was consumed to make people feel better when times
were tough.
There may be no type of food more synonymous with junk food than desserts.
And people in Medieval Europe loved their desserts.
In fact, the word dessert dates back to the Medieval era when the French used it to mean
“the last course” of a meal.
The word dessert is thought to have been derived from the term desservir, which means "to clear
the table.”
Just like today, there are numerous types of Medieval desserts that fall into the category
of junk food.
During this time, people enjoyed all kinds of different tarts made from fresh and preserved
fruits.
These snacks were obviously high in sugar content, and although they were eaten by many,
some other junk foods were the clear favorites.
Funnel cakes were invented in the Medieval era, and once they came onto the scene, people
couldn’t get enough of this junk food.
Funnel cakes are technically a type of fritter, which was already a favorite for many people
at the time.
However, once bakers started frying the fritters and putting powdered sugar on top of them,
people went nuts.
This dish was originally called cryspes and wasn’t as intricate as some of the funnel
cakes seen at fairs and restaurants today, but their sweetness kept people coming back
for more.
Medieval cooks didn’t have access to all of the ingredients we currently have, so they
had to make do with what was available.
This meant that when frying their fritters, Medieval bakers had to get creative to make
sure their baked good was as sweet as possible; otherwise, they wouldn’t satisfy the junk
food cravings of their customers.
The bakers put sweetened cottage cheese on the funnel cakes and called it “fritter
of milk.”
This seemed to work as people went crazy over this junk food.
In other circumstances, the fritters and funnel cakes would be covered in honey or sweet fruits.
The dough itself was delicious, but it was the sweetness that people craved.
If there was a favorite junk food of Medieval Europe, funnel cake was probably it.
Things would begin to shift as time went on, but sugar was hard to come by at the beginning
of the Middle Ages.
The sweet substance was expensive, which was a big turn-off for the masses who were looking
to chow down on some cheap junk food.
Again, if you were wealthy, you would eat whatever you wanted whenever you wanted because
you would have your own fully staffed kitchen with servants.
However, for the rest of the populace, they needed to get their fix of sweets from the
junk food served at cook shops and bakeries.
In these situations, honey was the sweetener of choice.
Fritters were coated in honey and then filled with other ingredients.
Honey was substituted for sugar in pretty much every baked good until it became more
plentiful and cheaper for bakers to obtain sugar.
When Medieval people weren’t eating fritters or funnel cake, they might be eating this
next special type of bread.
Gingerbread was the answer for people looking for cheap junk food that would satisfy their
cravings for something filling and full of flavor.
Like the fritters, gingerbread recipes used honey to bring sweetness to this junk food.
The breadcrumbs would be covered in honey, stirred into a simmering pot, and then spices
like ginger, cloves, and pepper would be added to give the gingerbread its spicy and sweet
flavor.
Today we think of gingerbread as a holiday treat, but this was not the case in Medieval
times.
Gingerbread was baked and consumed throughout the year.
It was a quick and cheap junk food that could be found any day at a bake shop.
That being said, gingerbread was probably not as popular as funnel cake or fritters,
but it was a delicious alternative for people who had become tired of other junk food and
wanted something a little different.
Towards the end of the Middle Ages, everything changed.
Sugar became more available and easier to find.
This led some people to do some pretty crazy things with the sweet substance.
Perhaps the most bizarre junk food that came out of the increased accessibility of sugar
was sugared meat.
That’s right, people literally covered their meat in sugar and ate it.
This may seem gross; because it was.
As more and more people had access to sugar, honey was replaced.
The Medieval populace developed an even sweeter tooth that could no longer be satisfied by
traditional sweeteners.
Sugar was added to everything.
It was used to crystalize fruits and to make syrups sweeter.
Funnel cakes became an even more popular junk food now that extra sugar was added.
People were putting sugar on vegetables.
Literally, anything they ate normally was turned into junk food as their appetite for
sugar could not be controlled.
They began putting sugar on fish and other meats.
This phenomenon was likely started by the rich and wealthy, but it also might have occured
in cook shop.
It’s hard to imagine that heavily sugaring any type of meat would taste good, but once
sugar became readily available, it seemed there was nothing that the people of Europe
wouldn’t try to turn into junk.
It’s important to note that the good times of funnel cakes and sugary desserts didn’t
last forever and weren’t for everyone.
Many of the peasants of Europe were so poor they couldn’t even afford these types of
junk food.
For them, a dish called pottage was their meal, dessert, and snack all rolled into one.
Pottage was a thick stew that contained meat, vegetables, and brand.
It basically had everything someone needed to fill them up in it, but the dish could
get old after a while.
However, if you were super poor, there would be nothing you could do but eat pottage every
night of the week.
Many peasants hunted game in the forests of the region or saved up to purchase a sheep,
cow, or pig.
Sheep and cows could provide milk, which could then be drunk or used in other dishes.
But if you were one of the many people who were extremely poor, junk food really wasn’t
a viable option.
People may have saved up for months to purchase a funnel cake.
Or perhaps if they were lucky on a hunt, they could bring the meat from the kill to a cook
shop for a meat pie, but this was a rare occurrence.
Then there were the junk food delicacies of those who had money.
The rich definitely indulged in tarts, cakes, fritters, and meat pies, but they could also
afford to have more exotic tastes in junk food.
Lords and ladies threw banquets to celebrate different occasions.
If a king’s forces won a victory in battle, there would be a banquet.
If two kingdoms were brought together by a marriage between their two children, a huge
party would be thrown to celebrate the occasion.
It’s at these events that some of the craziest foods were created and eaten.
The next few dishes we will explore will not only shock you but may make you throw up the
last meal you ate, so proceed with caution.
One favorite junk food dish for some people in Medieval times was sheep penis.
This was not just a clever name for a recipe; it was actually what people were eating.
Sheep penis would be a snack or a side dish that would consist of several severed sheep
penises that had been cleaned and stuffed with the yolks of eggs.
The cook would also add saffron, milk, and fat to the dish to really bring out the flavors.
The whole thing would be thrown in boiling water for a brief time and then roasted over
a fire.
For some, this was a delicacy; for others, it was a favorite snack.
You can imagine a greedy lord demanding that his cook prepare him his favorite junk food
dish of sheep penis as he sat on his throne.
When the sheep penises were done being roasted, they would be sprinkled with ginger, cinnamon,
and pepper to give them a unique flavor and crunch.
The thought of eating sheep penis may make your stomach churn, but in Medieval Europe,
this was a hit dish.
For those who were less well off, they might be lucky enough to stumble upon a feral cat.
In the streets of larger towns and villages, cats roamed the alleys and farms in search
of mice and other food.
If someone was able to catch a cat, there was a recipe on how to roast it in several
Medieval cookbooks.
Most indicated that the head of the cat must be cut off because the brains were not fit
for eating.
It was believed anyone who consumed cat brains would lose their senses.
Back then many thought that cats were intrinsically evil, but this did not stop hungry Medieval
citizens from snacking on them.
Recipes for roasted cat recommended that the creature be cut open and cleaned thoroughly.
In order to remove any evil that may be contained within the cat itself, the feline would be
buried underground for one full day and night.
Once all of the preparations were complete, the cat would be soaked in broth and garlic
and cooked to perfection.
This may seem like a gruesome meal, but if you were too poor to buy a meat pie or bread
and were able to catch a cat, it might have been your only option for survival.
However, the fact that there was a recipe for roasted cats suggests that the dish was
consumed relatively frequently.
The next Medieval dish could be considered two meals in one as it was made by sewing
two different animals together.
A cokentrice was a Medieval concoction that combined a rooster and a pig.
The chef would cook each creature and then saw them in half.
He would then sew the top of the rooster to the bottom of the pig and put it on a skewer.
This created a dish that looked like it came out of a fairy tale or horror story, depending
on who you asked.
But the cockentrice dish didn’t end with the sewing together of the two animals.
The half-rooster, half-pig concoction was then stuffed with different ingredients, covered
in egg yolk and saffron, and cooked over a flame to give the skin of the creatures a
nice crisp.
The cockentrice was only consumed by the wealthy as it was a very special meal that was incredibly
time-consuming and could only be made correctly by a talented chef.
A junk food that was slightly rarer but consumed by both the rich and poor during Medieval
times was the umble pie.
This dish was similar to a meat pie but was normally reserved for holidays and celebrations.
Umble pies consisted of dough stuffed with the entrails of deer and other wild animals.
This meant that peasants and poorer citizens would need to hunt for their own ingredients
to make umble pies.
After a good hunt, the meat of a deer or wild boar would be cooked and either consumed or
preserved by a Medieval family.
However, the entrails could be brought to a cook shop where a baker would stuff them
in dough and create an umble pie.
Like with most of the junk food dishes from the Middle Ages, the umble pie probably wasn’t
cooked at home as most people didn’t have ovens.
However, during this time, it seems that people would go out of their way to have umble pie
during certain times of the year.
Like with meat pies, it was probably best to bring the entrails of animals that you
or someone you knew personally hunted and killed because if you left it up to the chefs
at the cookshop, you’d never know how old the entrails actually were or what type of
animal you were eating.
Now watch “What You Weren’t Told About Medieval Executioners.”
Or check out “Why You Wouldn't Survive In Medieval time.”