- Come here, big fella.
- Oh. (laughs)
♪ Hey, be quiet and let the champ speak. ♪
♪ I bet these keys open up ♪
♪ Every fast food restaurant in Camp Creek ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Nah, get off me (beep).
(audience laughing)
Stop laughing, that (beep) ain't funny.
(audience laughing)
♪ Stand back, give me some leg room ♪
♪ You want to know what these keys open up ♪
♪ These the keys to your girl's bedroom ♪
♪ And I hope that don't offend you ♪
♪ I don't know where you found a hoodie ♪
♪ Made out of a Chinese menu ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- It's always about food, man. It's always about food.
(audience laughing)
- Okay. Give me Hitman Holla.
(audience yelling)
Give me the Big Mack.
(audience yelling) Big Mack.
- Hitman, you ready?
- I'm ready.
- Big Mack, you ready?
- Yep.
- Well, let's roast.
- Boy, you smell like breakfast.
(audience laughing)
- If you don't get your,
I got so many bars on my head,
that's why my hat don't fit, ass outta here.
- Boy, as a baby, I bet your first words were,
"Aye, you gonna eat the rest of that?"
(audience laughing)
- If you don't get your,
where's my super suit looking ass outta here.
(audience laughing)
Where's my super suit?
Where's my super suit? - You.
Out.
- [Audience] Got Damned.
(audience applauding) (bell dings)
- Baby, come here.
I wanna see if this air mattress is full.
Come on. Come on.
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- See if it works. Okay.
- This is Nick Cannon's CD.
- Pull.
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- They don't make CDs no more.
- Come on, big fella.
It's the summer, let's get this summer body ready.
You can do it. You can do it.
(Big Mack screams)
(audience cheering) (bell dings)
- Your next scene is, in the apocalypse.
- Yeah, I'm feeling season 16.
I'm gonna call you back.
I think Big Mack fell off his bike again.
I'll call you right back.
(audience Laughing) (bell dings)
- Ah. Hell no, I ain't died.
I'm still alive.
Y'all straight on that gas?
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- All right, y'all.
I'm Nick Cannon
and we still doing Wild 'N Out in the apocalypse.
Here we go.
♪ They got killing and chilling and killing ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Good reasons to gamble your last dollar.
- Cause you betting on me growing. (laughs)
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Stop. Stop it.
(audience laughing)
(audience member screams)
(audience laughing)
- Damn, man.
You okay?
- Oh no, I'm good.
I didn't feel anything.
(audience laughing) (bell dinging)
(audience cheering) (alarm blaring)
- My damn leg.
- Your answer is, no woman can do all of the following.
- What is put my mother (beep) phone down, (beep)
(audience laughing) (bell dings).
- [DJ D-Wrek] I love it.
- (chuckles) What is admit when they wrong,
pick somewhere to eat
and get on top for longer than two minutes at a time.
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- I got it.
- Damn.
(audience laughing)
- You good?
- Damn.
- You straight?
- What's up, bro? You all right?
- All these skinny (beep) keep getting up there before me.
(audience laughing)
- White dudes raised in the hood, would do this.
- Ah, (beep)
- What is, "All right, I'ma (beep) witchu."
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- [Hitman] Oh.
(audience laughing)
(audience member screams) - Oh, (beep)
(audience laughing) - Damn, (beep)
- I have like five black friends, I'm good.
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Your topic is, being broke.
(upbeat hip-hop music)
♪ Pick up and get it and get it and get it ♪
♪ What to eat when you broke ♪
♪ I used to search Google ♪
♪ When I was in college all I ate was noodles ♪
♪ Oodles of noodles been eating since beating ♪
♪ I paid my rent late, no food in my fridge ♪
♪ No food in your fridge ♪
♪ You my guy but no food ♪
♪ That is a lie ♪
♪ That ain't no lie ♪
♪ It's all how you handle it ♪
♪ When you go broke, you eat syrup sandwiches ♪
♪ Um, sandwiches. I ain't gonna be mean ♪
♪ But you not eating is hard to believe ♪
♪ Hard to believe when you broke you cheat ♪
♪ Hey yo, brother, let me hold something to next week ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
♪ Hold up, stop ♪
♪ Huh, I'm Cupid ♪
♪ You saying, don't shoot ♪
♪ But he really don't like your music ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
♪ Yo, they call me Hitman Holla, I keep a hammer, hammer ♪
♪ I'm from St. Louis. You know it's country grammar ♪
♪ I gotta blam ya ♪
♪ I bet these keys on your neck ♪
♪ Open up every Waffle House in Atlanta ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
♪ All right, I'm kind of big, so I'm gonna slow up ♪
♪ I'm gonna speak tracks, you know what ♪
♪ You need to slow up ♪
♪ Your earring's small your teeth, your teeth is small ♪
♪ (beep) Will you grow up ♪
(audience oohing) (bell dings)
♪ Yo ♪
♪ What all do you eat ♪
♪ This how much he weighed last month ♪
♪ And these are the pounds he gained this week ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Come on, Mack.
♪ Big Mack, I know you're scared of a gym pass ♪
♪ You're so fat that you deep frying your Tic-Tacs ♪
♪ You drinking gravy, but you need to switch it to SlimFast ♪
♪ You ain't got no bars, but all you eating is KitKat ♪
(audience oohing) (bell dings)
- Woo. Said he's frying his Tic-Tacs.
- All right, all right. - Hope y'all heard that.
♪ Hey Justina, me and you, we could be a great rival ♪
♪ I love your movies, Little Mermaid on 8 Mile ♪
♪ That gym pass, you lost me ♪
♪ Wendy don't talk to me unless you got my (beep) Frostie ♪
(audience oohing) (bell dings)
♪ Hey yo, Duval. ♪
♪ This is the real truth ♪
♪ Those was the baby shoes that we put in the rear view ♪
(buzzer buzzes)
- Dude, you the same size as me.
- My feet are bigger. (audience laughing)
- Yeah.
Yeah.
♪ Yo, I wanted to be the biggest castmate ever ♪
♪ That's a fact ♪
♪ And then you went to hired him ♪
♪ And that was that ♪
♪ I mean, I don't really want to be mean ♪
♪ But you look like J-Lo. ♪
♪ Yeah, J-Low-self-esteem ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
♪ They call me Hitman Hollywood Holla baby, I been star ♪
♪ Give you a seminar in your rental car ♪
♪ But Lord, I'ma need forgiveness ♪
♪ Cause I bet these keys open up everything ♪
♪ Except Planet Fitness ♪
♪ Dreidel with the turning in your tranny ♪
♪ Justina got flames on her shirt ♪
♪ Because she burning in the panties ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Okay.
- JJ.
JJ, come in real quick, man.
♪ You supposed to be a chef ♪
♪ Boy that need to stop lying ♪
♪ You dressed like the barber that messed up my hairline ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Come here, Big Mack. Come here, Big Mack.
♪ Look, I will catch you on a runway ♪
♪ I bet you, these keys can open up Chick-fil-A on a Sunday ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
♪ Yo, I know you wish you was Pac ♪
♪ I kill you in your car ♪
♪ I hide your little bitty body in the glove box ♪
♪ I got like enough bread ♪
♪ I bet these keys open up ♪
♪ Every Panda Express in Buckhead ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
♪ Wait a minute, yeah ♪
♪ Hey, Hitman ♪
♪ I don't care what you be talking about ♪
♪ I know for sure ♪
♪ This the key to your main ho mouth ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- What?
- Yeah
♪ Look you can ask about me boy, I'm 'bout that ♪
♪ Beat me in a battle? Man, I doubt that ♪
♪ I fix it with the hammer ♪
♪ I bet these keys open up every JR Crickets in Atlanta ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Okay.
♪ Hitman, them big teeth, they fragile ♪
♪ They so big and white ♪
♪ They probably gonna call the police on this whole battle ♪
♪ (beep) This has to end ♪
♪ Your teeth's so big and white ♪
♪ Every time you smile, looks like the cast of "Friends" ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
♪ Hey yo ♪
♪ When they tell you I'm the best ♪
♪ You just know it's true ♪
♪ Cause killing these rappers ♪
♪ That's just what I do ♪
♪ I can't stand ya ♪
♪ I bet these keys open up every Juicy Crab in Atlanta ♪
(audience laughing)
- Shut up. That wasn't funny.
(audience laughing)
♪ But hold up, the new teeth in your mouth ♪
♪ Talking is probably tough with them ♪
♪ They so big and white ♪
♪ I know all of them Republican ♪
♪ You better get with this ♪
♪ You a black dude, but when you smile ♪
♪ Everybody see the white privileges ♪
- [DJ D-Wrek] Whoa. Okay. (bell dings)
♪ Okay. Look, look, look, ♪
♪ Look Shuler, you are not no prize ♪
♪ It look like you about to leap with them bullfrog eyes ♪
♪ And Jay got a man, it must be pretend ♪
♪ You got a Biz Markie face ♪
♪ So you just a friend ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Come here, Big Mack.
♪ Hey yo, Atlanta, I've been a boss ♪
♪ I bet these keys open up every Krispy Kreme in Kennesaw ♪
- Hold up.
Stop laughing that (beep) ain't funny
(audience laughing)
Here we go.
♪ Listen Hitman, dog we about to get a little real ♪
♪ If you really look at him, ♪
♪ Don't he look like he was Little Bill ♪
(audience laughing) (buzzer buzzes)
- I got it. I got it.
I got it.
♪ What's up big man ♪
♪ I see you repping something but something on your chin ♪
♪ Nah, the second one ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
♪ How you doing ♪
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold up.
Hold up, hold up.
♪ Listen, you a legend ♪
♪ I don't care how many hits that you had ♪
♪ Don't he look like Idris Elba's dad ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
♪ Yo, I hear you, matter fact, I love ShyRack ♪
♪ And shouts to Spike Lee because he always had my back ♪
♪ And I love Chicago, South and West Side ♪
♪ And everybody know, it ain't gonna be no divide ♪
♪ We gon' keep it positive, it ain't no more killing ♪
♪ And black people in the air, put your fists and we willing ♪
(audience yelling) (bell dings)
- Yeah, Big Mack. Come here, Big Mack.
♪ I mean, it ain't no question about who'll ride ♪
♪ Battling me, I mean that's suicide ♪
♪ I'm about my cheddar ♪
♪ I bet these keys open up every Popeye's in Marietta ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Hold up. Hitman, Hitman.
♪ Them little jokes, yeah you need it ♪
♪ With that short ass jacket on ♪
♪ I'm sure that was probably Conceited's ♪
♪ That collar, you need to breathe ♪
♪ Cause it looked like it was made ♪
♪ From the same stuff they made Justina's weave ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
♪ Wildstyle ♪
♪ Hey Big Mack, man ♪
♪ I'm never bugging ♪
♪ We know Brenda had a baby ♪
♪ But you up here shaped, like you having seven of 'em ♪
- [DJ D-Wrek] That was hilarious
♪ Wildstyle ♪
♪ That's a nose ring in ya nose ♪
♪ No, that's a booger ♪
♪ You supposed to be Tupac ♪
♪ You two packs of sugar ♪
♪ I don't care who you be ♪
♪ We all know your next album is "All Guys on Me" ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Look, look, nah, nah.
stay right there. Stay right there.
♪ Look, this is my court ♪
♪ I'm the judge, you get no pardon ♪
♪ Why you look like the most bootleg version of James Harden ♪
(audience oohing) (bell dings)
- Big Mack, come on up here, Mack.
Come here, big fella.
- Oh. (laughs)
♪ Hey, be quiet and let the champ speak ♪
♪ I bet these keys open up ♪
♪ Every fast food restaurant in Camp Creek ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Nah, get off me (beep).
(audience laughing)
Stop laughing, that (beep) ain't funny.
(audience laughing)
♪ Stand back, give me some leg room ♪
♪ You want to know what these keys open up ♪
♪ These, the keys to your girl's bedroom ♪
♪ And I hope that don't offend you ♪
♪ I don't where you found a hoodie ♪
♪ Made out of a Chinese menu ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Always about food, man. It's always about food.