Every morning, Emma gets up at exactly 5:00 AM. She read once that the more you hit the
snooze button on your alarm, the more it can negatively affect your sleep and make you
groggier throughout the day, so she trained herself to never hit the snooze button again,
and promptly turns the alarm off upon its first ring. She uses an alarm clock instead
of her phone, keeping her phone in the other room, so to prevent her from using it when
she first wakes up as well as just before going to bed, because she also read that smart
phone usage during these times can have a negative impact on mental health and sleep
quality. Upon waking up, for no more than a few moments,
Emma stretches and relieves any tightened joints and muscles from the previous night’s
sleep, which are almost always pretty minimal due to the fact that she has perfected her
sleep through a sleep-tracking app, an air-tight sleep schedule, and optimal pillow and bedding
products. After getting out of bed, Emma brushes her
teeth, counting to the American Dental Association recommended 120 seconds inside her head. She
can almost determine 120 seconds without even needing to count, but she does so anyway just
to be sure. Then, she changes into her workout clothes and, regardless of the weather, goes
out on her morning run, reminding herself when it’s pouring that her body never takes
any days off, so neither should she. Following the run, Emma does a specific, researched
combination of concentrated muscle exercises, dependent on the day of the week.
After exercising, she mediates for 30 minutes, regulating and observing her breath and mind
exactly how a variety of guided mediations taught her, which she has, by now, combined
into one super effective single practice. Following mediation, Emma proceeds to shower,
using all natural, organic soaps and shampoos that she extensively researched for quality
control. Emma regularly stays up to date on various data and research regarding health
habits, products, and practices, adapting her routine to every new insight, so long
as she’s adequately analyzed the information and confirmed that it is in fact accepted
by the majority portion of the particular field it’s coming from.
Before promptly leaving her home at 7:30 AM, she eats one of seven different breakfast
meals that she has curated from leading dietitians she found online. Each meal is similar enough
to retain equal nutritional balance, while different enough to ensure that she does not
get sick of any them. After all, Emma knows that variety is the spice of life. Emma applies
this same strategy to lunch, dinner, and snacks throughout the day, the majority of which
she meal preps every Sunday. Every day on her way to work, Emma stops at
a local homeless shelter to help prepare, cook, and serve breakfast for the local homeless
residents. She frequently recommends new recipes and general facility ideas to the head chef
as well as the executive director of the shelter. They thank her but have never taken any of
her recommendations. Emma has made it clear to them that she is aware of this, but that
she understands that it is their facility and does not mean to impose herself on their
expertise and is still very happy and grateful for the opportunity to volunteer. The chef
goes to great lengths to avoid Emma when she’s there.
Following her work at the shelter, Emma continues into downtown. She parks her car in a parking
structure several blocks away from the office where she works. There are parking areas surrounding
the office, but they are small and don’t fit everyone and so, even though she’s almost
always early, she never takes a spot so that one less other person has to walk. While she
walks the several blocks from the structure to the office, Emma waves and says different
iterations of joyful greetings to every person she passes within her sightline, enunciating
her words with such volume and clarity to ensure that no one misses a single syllable.
She leads and follows with a big, sincere smile that puts every returned, half-clenched,
lip smile to shame. When she enters the office, Emma continues
her joyful greetings. Believing that a positive attitude and always focusing on the good is
the very best way to live, regardless of the day, time, and her mood, Emma goes around
her section of the office, sincerely inciting conversations and comments wherever possible,
somehow always having a quote of motivation at the ready that seems to fit every scenario.
Some large percentage of her co-workers hastily close their office doors—if they have one—as
soon as they hear her coming. Once at her desk, after all emails have promptly
and sufficiently been dealt with, Emma proceeds to check her calendar and daily planner. She
uses four different scheduling apps that she discovered through extensive research regarding
resources that help with better work habits and daily planning. Throughout the day, she
stays unbelievably focused and organized based on a very specific weighting system of prioritization
that she learned and developed from one of the many podcasts, articles, and books she’s
referred to on the subject. Her productivity level is unfathomably high, and she frequently,
but appropriately keeps higher management aware of where she’s at in her work, checking
that she is still on track in the right direction, providing and fulfilling new ideas as often
as she can. Her bosses often try to avoid her in the hallways.
Emma makes a great salary and is in a very high, important position at the company. However,
without ever letting anyone take advantage of her, she always works in a way that serves
to help those around her look better, rarely taking any credit. She believes that her work
is enough of a reward in it of itself. In fact, she even differed two of her most recent
promotions to other employees who she genuinely believed were more deserving and don’t get
enough recognition. Whenever Emma talks with coworkers, family,
acquaintances, or strangers, she listens with great attentiveness, using a variety a refined
mirroring and conversational techniques she’d learned about to ensure that she properly
communicates her genuine sincerity and intrigue towards other people. If she finds herself
in a conversation in which she thinks she can help someone, she always suggests and/or
refers them to some multifaceted, in depth, thoughtfully specific combination of personal
practices and available resources on the topic that might help. Emma always clarifies that
it’s totally up to them and that they should do whatever they think is best for themselves,
affirming that she does not mean to impose or pressure them. This is almost always interpreted
as passive aggressiveness or internalized as subversive pressure.
Nearly every week, Emma invites her co-workers to outings over the weekend; primarily hikes,
bird watching’s, volunteer activities, museum visits, local community events, Saturday lunches
in downtown, neighborhood cleanups, and small, little parties, often movie or game orientated,
at her house. Emma works very hard but knows that life is short and is only as valuable
as it is fun, which she is sure to always tell her co-workers when they inform her that
they are unfortunately busy that weekend. Out of every weekend Emma has asked, only
seven people have ever accepted. Five of which never made it past their first time.
During her free time, Emma often goes on retreats, volunteer trips, and to events and seminars
that either help communities and causes or help her become a better and overall more
informed person. Emma knows how to play the clarinet, French horn, piano, and the Appalachian
Dulcimer, is proficient in five languages, sustains a small farm on her property, operates
two additional, ethical streams of income, is a member of her local government, and is
a brown belt in jiu-jitsu. Emma’s health, work ethic, social skills,
kindness, success, and weekly routines are about as ideal as anyone could possibly imagine.
She is the culmination and totality of what basically everyone strives to be. Everything
is synced up and perfected in Emma’s life except one thing: no one likes Emma. For all
intents and purposes, Emma is without any friends.
Her bright, constant, earnest smile seems to aggravate the blood of anyone near it.
Her unwavering kindness projected by her perfected and impenetrable social skills renders a frustration
and exhaustion in even the most patient and otherwise kind, social people. No one ever
seems to really trust or open up to Emma, and she rarely, if ever, experiences a real,
mutual connection or conversation with anyone. Her daily routines, habits, skills, and demeaner
make those around her feel like constant, absolute failures. Some of her co-workers
and acquaintances find themselves imagining horrible things happening to Emma, which terrifies
them and makes them want to avoid her all together. The inescapable dread and disdain
felt towards Emma is confusing and illogical. It’s a disdain that makes everyone feel
horrible about themselves for feeling it towards her, which makes everyone involuntarily dislike
Emma all the more. Emma has eliminated all character flaws, and
in doing so, created perhaps one of the biggest flaws imaginable.
Without even realizing it, Emma has discovered that even through pure perfection, the imperfection
of life still cannot be escaped. But Emma always reminds herself that adversity
is just an opportunity
for improvement.