You want to hear some other stupid laws
we have here in Swellview?
Look at these.
What are those books?
It's the Swellview book of laws and ordinances.
I wanna play the hand bells.
Later.
Later. It's always later.
Take a look at this. Page 34.
It is illegal to take a photo of a rabbit without a permit.
How stupid is that?
[ringing]
Okay, everyone,
now read the laws I've highlighted in your books.
Uh, ice cream on a cone may only be licked.
It is illegal to bite ice cream on a cone.
[ringing]
Uh, Charlotte.
Okay. It is against the law to wear more than one hat
at the same time.
[ringing]
Okay.
According to the Big Book of Swellview laws,
If these new kids agree to leave the school
on their own, they--
Then Miss Shapen and her sleeveless goons
can't shut us down!
So we just make life
as miserable as possible for these new kids,
and they agree to leave on their own.
Good plan, Chapa.
And shockingly not violent.
[screaming]
Wow, I can drive!
You can what?
I can drive, a car!
Look what the Department of Motor Vehicles sent me.
A driver's license?
[chuckles]
How'd you get one of these?
It's probably a mistake.
You know, you don't have to use your walkie talkie,
I'm right here.
Right. I'll run down the block.
No, no, no. You don't need to run down the block.
Okay. All right.
[sighing]
Dude, you can't keep this.
[chuckles] Yes, I can.
This came from the Swellview DMV to me,
so just stay out of my beezers.
So, according to Swellview Criminal Code,
Section 408697-2, Paragraph B, Subsection one,
"Whoever smelt it, dealt it."
That's true, Captain Man.
But Paragraph D, Subsection two, Footnote X
of that same criminal code
states, "Whoever did the rhyme, did the crime."
Ooh.
Nah. Hold on. Wait.
Captain Man [unintelligible]
This is not in my plan. You know it's not my plan.
[laughing]
Did one of you guys call the cops on me?
What? Uh... You know, I'm... I'm really not sure.
Uh, I know I didn't so.
Charlotte?
Thanks. Well, why don't we go outside,
so you can throw me under an actual bus.
Look, we, uh, we found this kid.
I found him, in a neighborhood bush.
Neighborhood bush.
And our friend here, Jasper, thinks he can keep him.
- Yeah, he's right. - What?
- Ha! - Wait. Seriously?
Yes, the rightful parents have 48 hours
to claim the missing child.
But if no one does,
then the child belongs to whoever found him.
- Told ya. - What?!
Well, bye.
Wait. What? You're just gonna--
Wait.
Ah, man, I think I left my gun at the bakery.
Oh, Jerry.
Ah, who's a good boy?
You.
Swellview Police. What's your emergency?
You need to send a SWAT team to the old video story
in South Swellview, Beta Maximus.
Why? That place has been closed since the 1900s.
I know but I heard
that Captain Man and Kid Danger are there,
and I think there's big trouble.
Okay, I get it.
Uh, you get what?
You're a teenager, you're dumb and you're bored,
so you're prank calling the police.
Uh, no, sir. I-I just need--
You know, irritating a police officer is a felony.
I-I don't think that's true.
Never call back here.
- Wait, wait. - Never.
Uh, excuse me!
Hey, people, listen up!
It's the Spoiler.
He's going to ruin everything!
Uh, I got some information about the movie.
Ray.
So get this.
Quick, everyone do this! La la la la.
[everyone] La la la la la la la...
No, don't do that. Hear me! Hear me!
[everyone] La la la la la la la...
Hey you!
- What? - Shut up!
It's Kid Danger!
Oh, my God. We love you, Kid Danger!
Spoiler alert. I'm about to spoil you.
Yes, that was the perfect quip.
[metal clanging]
No more poisoning our food.
Yar, but it already be too late.
My daughter Lilith had me take all your powers away
so she could force Brainstorm to become officially official
on social media with her.
And you just do whatever she says?
Yar, that's right. You've never heard her cry.
You can't force him to be officially official.
That's not legal in Swellview.
But there be no laws in... international waters.
[laughing]
Great, I'm going to jail, again.
[fighting]
No, you're not.
[fighting]
I mean, maybe someday,
like next week or something, but not today.
What are you saying?
We're going to eat the evidence.
You're right.
They can't arrest your brother if there's no evidence.
But that's ten pounds of cured ham!
We can't get all of that.
We've got to try.
[fighting]
Billy's right.
Everyone start stuffing ham in your mouth!
Yes.
[music playing]
[grunting]
Time's up. We're coming in. Go ahead.
[cb chatter]
Hello, officer.
[groaning]
Hey, officers. Uh... no stolen ham here
We don't care nothing about that.
You don't?
We wouldn't waste our precious time looking
for stolen ham.
[groaning]
Uh, Piper, what'd ya do?
[grunting]
Thanks for the help, Dad.
You're welcome.
That wasn't a real thanks. It was a fake thanks.
[grunting] Which my tone implied.
How can I help you, officers?
Your daughter Piper here... is in big trouble.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm sorry, officers.
Yeah, I'm just trying to take this karaoke machine to work.
And I feel like if I hear what you have to say,
I'll get involved so excuse me. Excuse me, Dad.
Excuse me. Thank you.
I am... excuse me... gone.
What'd you do, jaywalk, litter, steal a rich girl's pony?
She hit me with her car.
Ooh, that's new.
You were standing in the middle of the street.
She was doing the Waikiki Challenge.
I'm sorry. What is the Waikiki Challenge?
It's where one cop plays a video of their partner hula dancing
around the patrol car.
I was mid hula
when your daughter plowed over me.
I said I was sorry.
So are we. Now, we've got to do a bunch of paperwork.
Plus, we've got to make all that soup.
Yeah.
Because of Piper?
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
See once a week one squad car makes soup
for the other officers.
Tomorrow's our turn.
Oh, man. It's going to be an all nighter.
Yeah.
Anyways, we just wanted to bring her by
so yous could give her a hug before we take her to jail.
I appreciate it. Bring it in.
You're going to do great in jail.
Wait! What if I made the soup?
What are you saying, baby girl?
You guys need soup. I need to not go to jail.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You trying to bribe us with soup?
What? No, I-I was...
- 'Cause if ya are... we're in. - Yeah.
I mean, if you're half as good at making soup
as you are running over cops, I can't wait to taste it.
I can't wait.
[laughing]
Well, great. What kind of soup do you guys want?
It doesn't matter. As long as it's scalding hot
and filled to the tippy top
of whatever pot you're cooking it in.
Oh, it will be.
Great. Let's get those cuffs off ya.
Oh, I took 'em off in the back of your cop car.
[chuckles]
She's good.
My name's Jasper Dunlop and I'm wearing two hats.
I'm gonna eat this ice cream cone, thusly.
And now, without a permit,
I'm going to take photos of this rabbit.
Ooh, yeah, you're an animal. Show me those ears.
Do you know what's wrong with him?
Yeah, we're all mad that Captain Man got arrested
for breaking some stupid law about hairnets.
So he's protesting by breaking more stupid laws.
- Yeah. - Oh.
What are you doing?
You're under arrest.
What? But I'm just a child.
Doesn't matter.
But I was only doing this to show you
how wrong it was to arrest Captain Man.
Well, now you're gonna be in jail with Captain Man.
But I didn't even... I am?
Come on.
I'm going to hang out with Captain Man.
- Poor Ray. - What do you mean?
It's bad enough he's spending Christmas Eve in jail,
now Jasper's gonna be in there bugging him all day and night.
Oh, yeah. Poor Ray.
[sighing]
Well... might as well keep 'em company.
What do you mean?
Hold this.
Oh, look at me. I'm a criminal.
- I'm wearing two hats, - Stop.
simultaneously.
Oh, look what I'm going to do to this ice cream cone.
Yo, bunny, smile. Mm. Ooh. Mm. Ooh. Ooh.
All right, you two are under arrest.
Oh, no.
Wait. Why am I under arrest?
'Cause you watched him wear double hats
and bite that ice cream and you did nothing.
Ah.