(upbeat theme music)
- As people try to kill time in isolation
viral challenges are becoming more popular than ever,
and over the weekend Simone Biles
took things to the next level.
- Okay.
Okay, got it.
(women cheering)
- Okay, Simone Biles,
I don't think you understand
what a viral challenge is.
It's called a viral challenge,
not a viral impossibility.
Who can do things with a handstand?
Us normal people,
we struggle to take our pants off normally.
This is the pants off challenge.
(tires screeching) (horn blaring)
(glass shattering) (cat yowling)
Next up, India is taking some unique strategies
to try and stop the spread of the coronavirus.
The government has forced 10 tourists
from Israel, Mexico, Australia, and Austria
who violated social distancing rules to write,
"I did not follow the rules of lockdown
"so I am so sorry," 500 times.
Yeah, 500 times they had to write it out, like Bart Simpson.
And in a less dramatic move,
one Indian man built a vehicle that looks like the virus
to warn people to stay indoors.
So I guess if you ever wondered
what the opposite of an ice cream truck would be,
this is it.
And I know this seems ridiculous,
but I think a corona car driving around is a great idea.
Yeah, because it makes it seem physical.
Right now people are like, "Eh, is corona real?"
And if you see the car you would be like,
"Yo, corona is in town."
It will make people take it seriously.
In fact, after this car is done in India,
that car needs to drive around 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Yeah, then Trump will start to take it seriously.
He'll be looking out the window like,
"Oh my God, the coronavirus, it found me.
"It knows I was talking shit about it.
"I'm sorry, corona!
"You're not like the flu at all."
And finally, one of the best things we've seen
during coronavirus is how people
are still working to keep their spirits up,
which is something we've all got to do.
We've seen people throwing social distancing block parties,
DJs are battling online,
and now the latest trend
is people have started dressing up to take out their trash.
- In the strange new world of social distancing,
self isolating, and working from home,
people are finding new ways to entertain themself
or just stay a little bit sane.
The previously mundane can suddenly be
the highlight of your day, like taking out the trash
by dressing to impress,
whether it's as a unicorn, this is my favorite,
or if you really miss going to the beach,
or if it is a wedding anniversary.
- This is so much fun!
People are dressing up when they go out.
Dressing up like animals to take out the trash.
And just to come full circle,
the animals are gonna start dressing up like people
when they eat the trash.
Hakuna Matata, it's the circle of life.
I've been getting in on this too.
I love this idea so much
that what I've started doing to spice things up
is that when it take out the trash
I dress up like a mobster,
and then I tie my trash bag up in three places
so it looks like a dead body.
Yeah.
And I know that seems dark, but think of it this way,
when my neighbors see me the last thing
they're worried about is coronavirus.
Lego.
One of the world's biggest toy manufacturers,
and destroyer of bare feet.
They've announced that they have converted
some of their molding machines
to help make protective equipment for medical workers.
And this is so great that Lego is now stepping in
and helping healthcare workers with PPE.
I just don't know
how comfortable a Lego mask will be,
but it's nice that they're trying.
Also, if there's one thing we know about Legos,
it's that no one builds
what they're actually supposed to build.
Yeah.
It's just gonna be like, "Hey, mister doctor,
"did you get that Lego mask we sent you?"
"Yeah, I did, but I built a helicopter."
(imitating helicopter blades whirring)
In Indonesia,
not everyone is willing to stay inside.
So in response, one village came up with a
ooooo solution.
- A village in Indonesia is using an unusual method
to try and curb the spread of the coronavirus.
Take a look at this.
Local volunteers dressing up as ghosts
to patrol their neighborhood streets,
trying to spook residents into respecting
stay at home orders.
Officials say the plan originally backfired
when people ventured out to take photos
of the ghosts for social media.
- Okay, I don't know what's crazier here,
the fact that this village tried to use ghosts
to scare people back into their houses,
or the fact that the people heard
that there were ghosts outside
and then tried to get pictures for social media.
Like, what have we become?
What has social media made us, huh?
There's a ghost and you're like, "I'm going outside"?
I'm willing to bet that if the "Exorcist" head twisting
thing happened today, instead of being scared
people in the room would be like, (gasps)
"Oh my God, can you do that again?
"That would make an amazing TikTok.
"Ay, ay, ay."
And finally,
with coronavirus shutting down
most of the American economy every state
has had to make their own decisions
about which businesses are essential, right?
Which businesses are essential to remain open.
In California, they decided that some weed dispensaries
could stay up.
Texas has said that gun stores are essential.
And in Florida, they went with this.
- Meanwhile, the WWE was back
performing live shows last night.
They were at their performance center here in Orlando
after it was deemed an essential business.
Orange County mayor Jerry Demings said
the wrestling entertainment company
was not initially considered to be so,
but the WWE reached out to the governor
and it was changed because he said
the company is critical to Florida's economy.
- Yes, Florida.
The governor of Florida has officially given
the green light to the WWE as an essential business.
There is one thing though.
Since the wrestling has been taping during corona,
the storylines have gotten pretty weird.
Triple H!
I saw you touching your face and you didn't wash your hands!
You are about to pay!
I'm gonna flatten your curve!
Now, what's really interesting is that initially
the WWE wasn't considered essential,
but then they reached out to the governor.
We actually have footage of the WWE
negotiating with the governor.
- [Announcer] The governor is about to get into it
with the WWE.
This could be anyone's match.
Rollins is assaulting DeSantis!
Oh, that's got to hurt.
(smacking)
How much can one politician take?
(smacking)
What is going on here?
- Zoom.
It's the app that tells you
which of your friends have bookshelves
and the reason every work call
now looks like the beginning of "The Brady Bunch."
From the beginning of these shutdowns
everyone who can has been using video calling apps
to work from home.
But now, a judge in Florida is reminding people
that just because you are at home
doesn't mean you're not at work.
- One South Florida judge is telling lawyers
that they need to dress nicer for their Zoom calls.
Broward County judge Dennis Bailey says
that he's been seeing people dressed pretty casually here.
He says one attorney called in without a shirt on
and a woman was still under the covers in her bed.
One person was seen in beach gear while poolside
during the hearing.
The judge wants everyone to treat court hearings
as they were actually in court and dress appropriately.
- Okay, I'm not gonna lie,
I'm a little conflicted about this story.
Because look, one the one hand I agree with the judge.
Just because you're stuck in the house
and Zooming into work doesn't mean
all of a sudden you can dress like
the before photo on "Queer Eye."
On the other hand, if you're stuck in the house
and Zooming in to work,
maybe we shouldn't have to pretend
like this whole situation is dignified.
I'm watching my roommate take a dump
with the door open right now.
It really doesn't matter if I'm wearing a suit.
It also makes you realize how simple human beings are.
Someone just changes their outfit
and all of a sudden we act completely differently.
"That guy is in a bathing suit,
"I can't take legal advice from him.
"Oh, oh, hold on, hold on.
"Nevermind, now he put a silk thing around his neck.
"Yeah, yeah, that guy's a professional something."
Now, while some people are trying to keep up
with the charade of normal life,
one family who's stuck in the house in North Carolina,
they've just decided to lean into the craziness
by starting what they call the quarantine Olympics.
Yeah, and this involves made up events
like blindfolded toilet paper dodge ball
and straw drinking water races.
And they've kicked off a brand new viral trend.
(symphonic music)
(dramatic music)
(laughing)
- Wait, stop.
(speaking indistinctly)
- Okay, people, I am officially fan
of the quarantine Olympics.
And if you ask me, these sports are just as legitimate
as the real Olympic sports.
'Cause if we're honest, all sports were made
because people were just bored and looking for stuff to do.
What is basketball?
Basketball is just throwing a circle into a bucket.
Yeah, I said it, Lebron James.
What are you gonna do, come find me?
You can't leave your house.
Please don't leave your house, Lebron, I'm just joking.
If you think about it, drinking water out of a straw
quickly while another thing is pouring the water,
that will probably be its own league in 50 years.
Aunt Becky's kids are gonna pretend that they were stars
on the high school toilet paper dodge ball team.
It's gonna be a thing.
Oh, and say what you want about white parents,
but you can't deny that they know how to be fun.
You see them in the living room
just throwing things with their kids.
'Cause let me tell you something,
there are no African families who are throwing toilet paper
around the living room right now.
Yeah.
Even if African parents do allow quarantine Olympics
all the events will just end up being chores.
"Okay, everybody, that was great, eh?
"Now let's see who's the best at cleaning the kitchen."
"But dad, we want to throw toilet paper
"like it's TikTok Olympics."
(chuckles)
"When you buy the toilet paper
"you can throw the toilet paper.
"Until that time, let's see
"who's the best at cleaning the kitchen."
Okay, and finally, my favorite story
comes out of Pennsylvania
where a 93 year old woman stuck in her house
held a sign out of her window saying,
"I need more beer."
After her picture went viral,
Coors sprang into action and delivered
10 cases of beer.
And I'm really excited that this worked for her,
because I've tried to the same thing.
I've had a sign outside my window for weeks
and I've gotten nothing.
And this just shows that you can't judge a book by its cover
because we always think that old people
are just sitting around doing boring things
like knitting, or Sudoku, or reminiscing
about having sex on the Titanic.
But this story changes everything.
We got to think of old people different.
They're living life.
In fact, I think they need to add
a different sitting to those Life Alert necklaces.
"Mrs. Fletcher, are you okay?
"Did you fall?"
"No, I'm out of booze and I can't get crunk.
"Send some immediately,
"I'm trying to turn up."
Although coronavirus is quickly becoming
one of the worst periods in human history,
every day we learn how for animals
this time is pure bliss.
The pandas are smashing again in China,
the animals are parting in Yosemite National Park,
and now, in Philadelphia, groundhogs,
well, they're just doing this.
- On some lighter news, it seemed like
Groundhog Day part two in Pennsylvania.
- Check out this pizza loving woodchuck in Philadelphia.
Unlike its usually shy counterpart, Punxsutawney Phil,
this one munching away at a cheese slice
while staring down a dog on the other side of the window.
Rodent now dubbed pizza groundhog to rival pizza rat
here in New York City.
- Wow.
That groundhog is a legend.
Did you see his face?
You see him?
He's just eating that pizza right in their faces.
He's like if Bugs Bunny was even more of an asshole.
And this makes you realize,
this makes you realize how different
indoor animals and outdoor animals are.
Indoor animals are soft.
This groundhog is out there in the streets like,
"Oh, this?
"Yeah, yeah, I just eat pizza whenever I want.
"I guess you guys,
"you guys probably have to ask for pizza
"like a little bitch.
"Well, at least you can still scratch your balls.
"Oh, I forgot, your owner chopped them off."
(chuckles)
And you know he's not gonna stop with those dogs, right?
You can see it in that little groundhog's eyes
he's getting cocky.
I bet next week he's gonna come back
and start taunting us humans.
Just gonna set up a little brunch outside the window
with all of his friends.
"Bottomless mimosas, can't do that at home."
(chuckles)
In other news, there is now a petition
with over 15,000 signatures to make Dr. Fauci
People magazine's sexiest man alive.
And this is why I love America.
The man who is a scientist, an academic,
and a public servant, is out there fighting
to keep people healthy and everyone else is just like,
"Drop your pants!
"Show us that PHD!"
And I'll be honest, I hope this happens
not just for Dr. Fauci, but for the whole country.
Because if there's one thing we know,
it's that Donald Trump only respects hot people.
Yeah, it's why Ivanka is a presidential advisor
but Eric has to use the doggy door.
Oh, and by the way, People magazine?
You need to change your name to person magazine, okay?
It's called social distancing.
Speaking of leaders trying to make a difference,
Emmanuel Macron, president of France
and guy in a Gillette commercial
who just finished shaving is leading efforts
to call a global truce on all wars
during the coronavirus epidemic.
Yeah, all wars stop for coronavirus.
And believe it or not, he's already gotten buy in
from UK's Boris Johnson, China's President Xi,
and President Donald Trump,
which is really impressive.
And I'm not shocked Macron is the one
trying to unite the world,
because this is the most French thing ever.
"Mon ami, we don't need to fight.
"Let's put down our guns,
"maybe make some sweet, sweet love.
"Ha ha, just kidding.
"Unless?"
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