(mouse clicks)
♪ (dramatic chord) ♪
(speaking Japanese)
Does he have boobs?
Show us. Show us.
What is he hiding?
Oh no! It's his nipples?
(laughs)
Those are what my [bleep] look like.
I think I've seen this.
(horrified) Aah!
Oh my... god.
(in video: smack)
(coughing/gagging)
What is that-- oh my god!
Juice time? Why?
Oh no!
Is he squeezing it?
- What is this? - (in video: grunting)
She's terrible at that. I'll give her some lessons.
It's so disturb-- who thinks of this kind of stuff? Who makes it?
Yeah, let's take a break.
(in video) Hai!
(laughing) "You were good."
"Let me at the bloodsucker." Oh, is he a vampire?
He gonna take his [bleep] out? Oh.
He had those things down his pants?
She's missing every shot, so the training's not going well.
(creature croaking)
Aah, it's a creature!
(horrified) Oh!
Oh, what the [bleep]?
Okay, "he's sucking my blood."
They were talking about the bloodsuckers.
Now I'm starting to piece this weird story together.
"Health teacher." We're at a school. We're at a school.
(disgusted) Ugh, ugh.
Like, there's a science behind it. "The suckers will peel off."
He's pretty weak now.
Ugh.
- (in video: squelch) - (laughing) Oh my god!
Oh my god!
What?
He's scolding it.
What were you doing hiding in there?
This is making me ashamed to be Japanese.
I don't understand that.
She's like this.
What is this?
It blows my mind that this got green-lit by people.
This has a budget.
Of course, yeah. Mm-hmm.
(laughing) Oh no!
(laughing) Ew!
What the [bleep]?
(whispering) What is it?
What is he doing? Making a little nozzle?
Oh.
It's a stamp.
"Yamada?"
Is this a movie or a show or a bad dream?
(in video) Oh!
Oh, that impressed him.
Why is everyone just acting like this is so normal?
The guy in the back is just chillin'.
(dramatically) That's the end? That's how it ends?
(sighs) Man, thank you for showing me that.
That may have been the weirdest thing
you guys have shown me today.
♪ (dramatic chord) ♪
(Finebros) So are you glad that we showed you that?
No.
I could've gone without seeing it.
I think I'm in shock.
I think we might have to reevaluate our friendship.
Adds to my repertoire of strange bull[bleep]
I've seen on the internet.
I'm not glad that you told me to put my hat on.
This is really weird for me now.
There's a lot of stuff dangling in that.
(Finebros) Can you quickly explain the story?
- Not quickly. - (laughter)
An older man who was Asian
was trying to conceal his boobs at first.
The gym teacher was checking his...
sack.
He squeezes ginormous balls that hang down so low,
and then juice comes out of his nipples, right?
A woman with a tennis racket is swatting away at
projectiles coming from his nipples.
He had bloodsucking things down his pants.
One of them latched onto the girl,
and then there was this weird little human.
The doctor starts taunting it, which is so bizarre.
And then he forces some ooze out of his gut.
And gave them a stamp.
A series of unfortunate events.
(Finebros) We're gonna show you a couple images from the video
to see if we can break down what's happening.
I don't wanna. Why are you making me do this?
(Finebros) What is happening here?
This literally makes no sense.
He's squirting milk at her.
The girl is swatting his nipple cream.
Maybe she needs to lubricate her, uh, racket.
I don't know what kind of training is happening here.
Training for some apocalypse, like some alien attack?
(Finebros) And then what about this guy?
Well, that's Yamada.
He's a stamp maker, I guess.
He doesn't even have any legs.
He just has a-- I don't know! I don't know!
I don't know what that is.
What is the tail coming out? Like, is he a plant?
This is where nightmares come from.
Wait, is there some deeper euphemism here
that I'm trying to understand?
- (Finebros) I don't know. - Oh, you don't know, okay.
(Finebros) So why was this video made? What was the purpose?
I don't-- I have no clue.
I really just feel like it's a clip from something.
Was it a part of a movie? Was it part of a show?
It sounds like a dare or something like,
"Make the weirdest thing you can! Go!"
Most people on the internet just make videos because they can.
Where in Japan, they give a budget
for that sort of stuff, I guess.
It has to be from some really just weird, funny
science-fiction movie.
And whatever it is, I wanna watch the whole thing now.
(Finebros) Well, it actually is a scene from a movie in Japan.
That's part of a movie.
Oh, okay. What's the name of the movie?
The movie is called Funky Forest: The First Contact.
What the [bleep]?
Oh, so that implies there's another contact. Okay, please go on.
(Finebros) Does this scene make you want to see that film?
No.
(chuckling) No.
No.
Never.
If it's just shocking to be shocking, I'm not interested.
Out of morbid curiosity, a little bit.
Kind of, yeah.
Well, kind of, but only if I'm under the influence of something.
That makes me curious,
but I don't know if it's enough to actually go see the film.
It was so bizarre that I kind of want to figure out
what's really going on there.
Yeah! Dude, I just need to know what I saw. I need context.
(Finebros) So basically it's a surreal collection
of comedic story lines presented in vignettes
that don't really connect to one another
about three brothers who are struggling to get with girls.
I don't know if I have any comments for that.
I love Japan.
Oh, that's kind of cool. That's a cool concept.
(Finebros) And there is even an animated segment in the movie
that they claim was directed by a dog.
Oh my god. That part I love.
Obviously, these people are on something.
Or the dog is just a genius and operating on some higher plane
and we just don't understand.
That sounds "ruff."
(Finebros) Heyyy. (slow clap)
This has also become a bit of a cult classic,
and it has a 7.0 out of 10 rating on the Internet Movie Database.
No way.
Oh my gosh.
Rated by who?
- (Finebros) The public. - The public.
The most trustworthy source.
(Finebros) So from watching this clip,
you didn't want to watch the movie,
but do you want to watch it now that you know more about it?
No.
No. Why would that have changed my mind?
No. There's no way I would sit through that.
I'm curious.
You got me curious, at least, I can say that much.
If you had it on you right now, I would say we watch it.
(Finebros) So lastly, on YouTube, whoever uploaded this clip
titled it something specific.
What would you guess they titled the video?
"Guy With Long Nipples"?
"Badminton Bloodsuckers."
"Japanese Guy Squirts on Young Girl." (laughs)
If this was a Shane Dawson video, I would call it
"Nipple Cream Arm Baby No Vagina."
And then where would be a picture of Justin Bieber
in the thumbnail and a picture of me going...
...with a yellow background.
"The Weirdest [bleep] Thing You'll See Today,"
something like that.
- (Rafi) Wow. - (Benny) You're almost right there!
"Weirdest Video You Will Ever See! Guaranteed!"
(grunts triumphantly)
(Finebros) They called it
"Weirdest Video You Will Ever See! Guaranteed!"
(laughs)
Oh, okay. That also makes sense.
(Finebros) Is it the weirdest video you've ever seen?
- Yes. - Yes.
Yes!
I think that it is up there.
It definitely is up there.
Yeah. I think this takes the first place.
I'm gonna say top 10.
I don't know if it's the weirdest.
I've done a lot of internet traveling.
It is very weird.
But sadly, I don't think it's the weirdest video I've ever seen.
This is by far not even anywhere close
to the weirdest video I've ever seen ever.
Did you know they made a black Annie?
- I'm kidding. - (laughter)
Thank you for watching this super-weird episode
of YouTubers React.
Look at me. Now look down. You see all those people?
Add them all. Subscribe to them all, and then watch them all.
And make sure to leave a comment telling us
what you want us to react to next.
All right, guys. I'm gonna go home and watch this weird movie,
and I'll get back to you. ♪ (hums casually) ♪
♪ (dramatic music) ♪