Fuiyoh! We just cross 5 million subscriber!
Uncle Roger make egg fried rice
I make ramen
So today Uncle Roger gonna make my own Thai green curry
At one of my favorite Thai restaurant in London: Esarn kheaw
This the owner of the restaurant
Nephew Thames, how you doing?
I'm very good today, Uncle Roger
Let's see how you fair doing your Thai green to mine
Haiya, of course it's gonna be as good
If not better than your restaurant Curry
All is in the taste
Nephew Thames and I actually so much in common
We both love food
And both our wife leave us
Haiya
But at least I got custody
Uncle Roger trade wife for food
because I never catch my food in bed with another man
Haiyaa
First step: toast your spice
Fuiyoh! Nephew Thames, you have fire!
This must be only restaurant in London with no induction stove
Yep no induction stove
But also the fan don't work
Health and safety no matter here
Haiyaa, who need fan?
Your restaurant still here after 30 years, not burning down
Maybe this will be the last week
Aiya
White peppercorn
Coriander seed
And cumin seed
Toast them all till fragrant
Hmm, you smell that, Nephew Thames?
I smell nothing, I recently got COVID
No smell no taste
You got COVID and you still run restaurant?
Ah...
Uncle Roger like
Don't be pussy, just get COVID
Get it over with
So Uncle Roger, we've been open for 30 years since 1992
Family-run restaurant, authentic Thai food
Nothing has changed in the menu
Hopefully we will come into West London and have a try
Haiya, thirty years never change?
Nephew Thames, you have to evolve with the time
See Uncle Roger 50 year old, I learn how to do YouTube
I learn how to use Tinder
Okay well I don't want to be Blockbuster I want to be Netflix
Get your pestle and mortar
There are no foreplay when it comes to Thai green curry
You go straight to pounding
Pour your freshly toasted spice in
And start pounding
Sometimes the ingredient jump up, you put your hand here to prevent spilling
Very good
See Nephew Nick? This is how you pound
Not your weak ass stirring motion haiya
Uncle Roger need to show auntie Esther how good I am at pounding
Hey pestle, be careful
Haiyaa, don't pound so hard
This professional pestle and mortar, it won't break
That's not professional pestle and mortar
This professional pestle and mortar
Haiya
When done pounding
Pour the spice out
Fuiyoh, see how fine it is?
Are you good at pounding?
I love pounding
Where you learn your pounding?
In the 70s
Oh, so from magazine?
Sometimes
Uncle Roger making one portion of Thai green curry
And I using 8 green chilli
Six bird eye chilli and two long chilli
Chop up your chilli
And remember always eat your chilli seed
Next, shallots
Don't use onion
Remember, onion for poor people
Garlic
Not just for the French
Correct
And of course Galangal
Another species of ginger
No it's not ginger
No?
Galangal and ginger completely different, nephew Thames
Try it, try it
Yeah no, we won't do that again
The difference is galangal taste disgusting when it raw
Add your galangal
Kaffir lime leaf
Lemongrass
And coriander root
Remember you want coriander root, not coriander stem like Jamie Oliver
Haiya
Uncle Roger fifty-year-old now
But my pounding still good
Pound to your heart's content
Can last for longtime
Love you long time
Love you all day, love you everyday
That what you people say
We love to say it
Feminism haven't made its way to Thailand yet
That why Uncle Roger like that country
That why so many British people have Thai wife
Oh my God, so much pounding
Because British women frigid
Uncle Roger love pounding in kitchen
I love pounding while hearing other diner eating
As you pound slowly, add back your ground spices
Because it add friction to your pounding
It feel good, it feel better
It like wearing a ribbed condom, add friction
Add some salt
If you pounding properly, the whole room should be shaking
When you almost done pounding
Add the most important ingredient, the stinkiest thing
Shrimp paste
Fuiyoh
Hmm, smell so good
The most important thing and the most potent
This is how you scared off white people
If you have white people neighbour you don't like
Just leave this at your door
Scared their whole family away
You ever watch horror movie?
White people not scared of ghost
But they scared shrimp paste
White people see ghost in house
They know it haunted house, they still move there to live
But if they know the house got shrimp paste, they fuck off
Haiya
And of course for shrimp paste
Use the right amount, not the white amount
Carry on pounding
And while you're pounding
You can use this to reflect on your sad life
Why do the people you love always leave you?
This is Uncle Roger therapy
You go see therapist, they rip you off
All you need is pounding
Half an hour later, Uncle Roger finally finished pounding
It taste good
Now we start cooking
My Youtooz figurine go live today, fuiyoh!
Uncle Roger so proud of this
So go buy one to show support
We ship worldwide, and it limited edition
So once this sell out, no more this design
So finish watching this green curry video
And then click link in description to buy
Usually first step of cooking Thai green curry
Is to cook the coconut milk and wait for the milk to separate from the oil
But nephew Thames, you use this can coconut milk haiya
The oil not gonna separated, it too many chemical in there
Where your fresh coconut milk?
We don't have any fresh coconut trees here
We can't get fresh coconut milk
Haiya
So because the oil wouldn't split, we need to cheat a little bit
By adding a bit of oil
Now coconut milk go in
Let it cook a little bit
Very good, Uncle Roger
Thank you, thank you
Now your beautiful green curry paste go in
Now add your chicken
Uncle Roger using chicken thigh
Always add meat to your Thai green curry
because this not for vegan people
Uncle Roger always use chicken thigh for my Thai green curry
Chicken breast drier than my ex-wife
Who want to eat?
Now, add fish sauce
Just use feeling
You want some vegetable?
Vegetable?
What kind of vegetable you have?
For you
Haiya mangetout
Why you giving me mangetout, nephew Thames?
This some Jamie Oliver bullshit
But Thai eggplant, this is correct ingredient
Pre-soak them in water so they get softer before you cook
Next, you add Thai basil
Some chilli for colour
Bamboo shoot and kaffir lime leaf
No, too many bamboo shoot
Uncle Roger don't like too many bamboo shoot
Don't fuck with Uncle Roger cooking
Okay
Uncle Roger at work, haiya
If your curry too dry like this
Feel free to add some chicken stock
Because chicken stock is like lubricant for Thai green curry
Make sure it chicken stock, not water, it taste better
Now palm sugar
Remember don't use white sugar
White sugar for poor people
But Nephew Thames, why your palm sugar look like rock?
It not fresh
It still taste good, but it not fresh
We're in England
Haiya
Same concept as coconut
I think you go back to your own country
Haiya?
Because you can make better food there, not because I racist
Haiya, give me that, Uncle Roger
When you're almost done, make sure you taste it
And here a good trick of how to taste
Take a small drop on your spatula
Then dipped it with your finger
It's good?
Try it, try it
Fuiyoh
I think bit more fish sauce, a bit more
Yeah
Always taste when you cook
But Uncle Roger feel I still missing some important thing
What could it be? Nephew Thames?
The magic white powder
MSG fuiyoh!
Why you put this on there? Just open the whole thing
You don't need this shaker bullshit
Just go
Use feeling
You very feeling, enough feeling, so much feeling
No such thing as too much MSG
If any MSG brand want to sponsor Uncle Roger, hit me up
Taste it a bit more
Oh
Tastes like magic now, I think we ready
Yeah?
Turn off heat
And now it ready to serve
Okay look, look how nice my Thai green curry is
Look at the beautiful green oil on top
It's all in the taste
Let's try
Get some rice first
Thank you so much, Uncle Roger
Of course, no worry Nephew Thames
Let's see how your green curry has turn out to be
Just trying to help your Thai restaurant
Don't want it to close down
Thank you, thank you
Look at this
This curry so much oil, I think America gonna invade it
Good, good spice
Not bad, Uncle Roger
Actually really good
Uncle Roger, thumbs up, definitely
Thank you, thank you nephew Thames
You can cook up at mine anytime
If you like good Thai food
Come to Esarn kheaw, say hi to nephew Thames
Uncle Roger favorite dish here, is the northeast style catfish
The Son-in-law egg
And of course the Thai green curry
Come visit us
Esarn Kheaw in Shepherd's Bush
They gonna have Uncle Roger special Thai green curry with extra MSG fuiyoh
Thank you niece and nephew for 5 million subscribers
You make Uncle Roger feel so special
Bye bye!
That not Thai
I know I just for the entertainment
Why you keep cultural appropriation?
That's not allowed in there, is it?
This only restaurant in London with no induction stove
But fan don't work here
Induction no needed
If you're gonna do it broken English, you gonna have to do it the whole video
Fuck that then
Yeah you gonna burn it down
Do that take again
Yeah, yeah, sure
Oh it's burning now, fuck fuck fuck
You know Nephew Thames and I so much in common
We both love food
And both our wife leave us
Haiya
But food taste better than wife
It depend on the wife
I think your wife got bad hygiene
It's okay, sometime it's thrushing
Anyway, sorry
Not thrusting
Uncle Roger only go down on women if they have thrush
It extra flavour
Because British women frigid
Need to be flexible
I'm gonna get so much hate
No no it's okay! Pound away
You too old for that now
Haiyaa, never too old for pounding
Do you need Viagra when you pound?
Never use Viagra
Really?
Yeah I use spicy chilli
Spicy chilli when you pound?
One prick last you long time
That woman gonna go hospital
I did really good man
I think it's the extra MSG, you know
Yeah it is
Really adds that
You went... good