I'm going to talk about that in this video.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm a narcissist negotiation expert and also an attorney,
I've helped millions of people through this channel and
thousands of people through my law practice,
escape lives of drama, trauma and chaos,
to step into lives of freedom, possibility and purpose and
I've written two best-selling books,
“Negotiate like you M.A.T.T.E.R” and
“Breaking Free, step-by- step divorce guide” and
I want to help you too.
So, make sure you subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell.
I upload brand new videos every single day and
I want to make sure that you get notified as well.
So, how do you know when is the right time?
How do you stop waiting?
How do you know when it's time?
I mean, because I know,
especially when you're living in that world of toxicity,
when you're living in a world of drama, trauma and chaos and
you're just not sure how to like escape that.
Did you know that something like 90%
of the thoughts that you have today
are like the same as the thoughts
that you had yesterday, and the day before and
the day before that, and a lot of it,
is because we formulated these thoughts many years ago and
we live in this world where we think we are formulating thoughts
as we go along throughout the day,
but we're actually not.
We actually are very much creatures of habit,
because our brains want to be very, very efficient and
they're almost like a computer, or like a CPU,
that has been formulated from networks of neurons
that we formulated a long time ago and
it's almost like the stimulus that happens and the brain goes,
“Okay, there is the stimulus,
this is the network of neurons that gets activated,
so, there we go” and
so, it's really happening long before we even realize it.
We think we are having the thoughts formulated as they're happening,
but they're actually happening much more subconsciously than we realize,
so, we end up bringing people into our lives and
situations that feel I wouldn’t say comfortable, but familiar,
not necessarily comfortable, but familiar,
because like attracts like and things like that.
So, we've got these reticular activating systems in our brains,
that we only see certain things and
it's like a lint filter in our brains and
so there are just certain things that end up getting through and
we have to really actually reprogram our brains
in order to feel like to get out of that comfort zone and
literally feel comfortable enough to go,
“Okay, I'm going to leap, get out of my comfort zone and
make a decision to do something else”.
One of the things I love about the word decision, is decide,
the word decide, the root of it is cide and
cide actually is to kill and
what that means is like when you decide,
you're actually cutting off other possibilities and
you're actually saying to the universe,
“I'm choosing something else and
I'm cutting off other possibilities”,
What happens is, the universe lines up for you and
gets behind your back and says,
“Okay, I'm here for you and
I’m going to help you make this happen”.
So, literally all you have to do, is choose that and
it all starts lining up for you,
because God, the creator, the Universe, whatever you want to call it,
those forces of the universe are there for you
ready to be called upon and be there for you.
It's just a matter of you calling upon them and
I will tell you that in my life,
I have seen it happen and
I have seen that magic happens so many times.
I got married at 19 the first time,
I had three children by the time I was 23 and
I decided to get divorced,
not that I was married to a narcissist,
but, just got married too young and outgrew each other.
I went back to law school as a young single mom,
100% on student loans, had no money whatsoever and
when I went back to law school,
I can tell you that,
a lot of people were naysayers at the time,
a lot of people used to say,
“Oh, I know a lot of people that are bagging groceries,
nobody's getting jobs as a lawyer”.
They were telling me I shouldn't even bother to try and
at the time, I had finished college and
I was teaching inner-city Elementary School at that time and
I was making less than no money,
is basically not much more than minimum wage I have to tell you.
But I wanted to be able to put a roof over my kid's head and
food on their table and
there was no way we could afford to survive on my pay as a teacher,
so, I went back to law school and I just remember thinking,
“Well, somebody's going to get a job out of law school,
why wouldn't it be me?”
So, I close my ears and my eyes,
I just went ahead and did it.
I didn't listen to the naysayers and
I decided, I made a decision to just do it and
it was scary, let me tell you, I mean, I remember,
I was really motivated to do well in law school,
because I remember thinking,
“I definitely don't want to have to pay back
the student loans on my teacher's salary”.
So, it was hard and it was definitely scary and
then, making a decision to leave my law practice.
I mean, I am still a partner at the law firm,
but, to embark on helping people on a much more global scale and
doing YouTube, and starting another whole business a couple of years ago,
with everything that I'm doing with slayer negotiation and
my digital courses and everything is a whole other new business and
dealing with a narcissistic business partner a couple of years ago,
that was a whole other situation for me.
So, it's a whole,
How do you stop waiting for the right time and just do that?
It can be hard, especially when you're dealing with a narcissist,
which I do know, because I had a narcissistic business partner,
on a different business endeavor and
I know it's hard.
That's why I do have a whole video, by the way,
on self-care to cope with a narcissist,
which I recommend you check out that video.
But, one thing I can tell you is,
when you make that leap, the net will appear, just do it.
Obviously, you have to create a plan,
you have to be strategic about it.
I'm not saying put yourself into any kind of financial hardship,
or do anything that's going to put you at any risk, obviously,
create a plan, make sure that you're in safety,
that sort of thing.
But, when you do have that plan, do it,
I mean, I remember seeing a quote somewhere,
they said something like,
You're meant to be growing,
you’re meant to be the highest best version of yourself,
the creator of the universe wants you
to be the highest best version of yourself.
You are meant to be here, you're meant to be shining,
you're meant to be a bright light,
there's no other version of you,
there was 1 in 4 hundred trillion chance that you became you.
So, stop waiting for that right time,
that’s not serving the highest best version of you and
your soul knows that,
your soul knows that's not the most powerful version of you.
I know that when you think about what's happening
with that narcissist in your life, or that toxic situation,
the reason why it doesn't feel good to be in those relationships,
is because your soul knows,
but, there's a reason why you're dealing with it and
instead of saying, “Hey, this is happening to me”,
instead, turn it around and say, “This is happening for me”,
“This is happening for me,
because I'm supposed to learn something from this” and
I can learn that I can be stronger from this and
I can be powerful from this and
I can rise above this and I can be a phoenix from this.
I'm half Chinese and we love the fact that the Lotus,
which is one of the most beautiful flowers,
can only grow in the mud.
That's my message to you today,
stop waiting for the right time,
life is really, really short, much shorter than you realize,
So, just do it!!!
If you haven't subscribed to this channel,
I invite you to do that now,
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“Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung” for additional support.
If you haven't grabbed my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
you can do that at winmynegotiation.com.
If you think you might be in a relationship with a narcissist and,
you want to take my free quiz,
the quiz “Are you in a relationship with a narcissist?”
is in the description below here,
you're certainly welcome to take that quiz as well.
Thank you for joining me today.
Remember, today's a great day to start negotiating your best life.
Don't wait, today's the day.
I will see you in the next video.
Remember, Namaslay.