are you struggling with your self esteem
and self image? Stay tuned. This is Damon Cart
from NLP Gym healing the self-image
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just the other day someone told me that
they felt ugly and when I heard that I
felt a sting really deep inside and i
instantly had compassion for this person
and then it suddenly reminded me that
this was something I had struggled with
two when I was a teenager on up into
early adulthood and it really fat
affected my self esteem this idea that i
thought i was really unattractive now
it's really easy for me to waive off
that idea that i once had that I was
really ugly and I'm not by far the
sexiest man alive but i'm also not
unattractive and I i know this now I
don't even doubt or question it when I
did believe it though it was extremely
real to me for people who do believe
they're really unattractive or that
they're ugly
it's as real to them as the Sun rising
every morning if you believe that if you
believe that you are physically
unattractive i'm sure you have a story a
powerful story that goes along with that
fact you might have several stories that
you could tell from your childhood that
led you to believe this but i would ask
you to do is just drop that that is not
happening now that story only has as
much meaning to it as you've been
pumping into it and the most important
thing to understand about that is if
anyone ever communicated that to you
that you are unattractive that you were
ugly just know that that had so little
to do with you and so much to do with
the limitations of the person who
communicated that when you think of this
idea that you're unattractive or later
uglier whatever it is that goes through
your mind what is the image or the sound
or the voice that triggers that feeling
so we have this idea that oh I just feel
that's all I know it but something
triggers that whether it's real or
imagined it could be something you're
actually seeing or hearing that's
actually happening or it could be one of
your internal processes or something
inside of your where you see an image in
your mind or UC or you hear a voice or
you hear a sound and that then triggers
that feeling
so what is it you're seeing or hearing
for some people they're very visual so
I'll see something and some people are
very auditory so they'll hear something
for some of you it might be both you
might hear and see something but usually
one of them is more the driver so let's
say I'm a very visual person and when I
think that I'm ugly
i sigh going into my mind I say okay
well what's telling me that her or what
am I seeing that lets me know that and
then suddenly i see an image of myself
where it's maybe the Lighting's really
bad my the image i mean it's somewhat
distorted in any way it looks to me like
on ugly
you might also hear a point you might
hear someone telling you that you're
another person if you're hearing
something like a voice resounded that
tells you that you're ugly convert that
voice or sound into an image this might
seem a little strange at first but just
think about that and hear the voice for
the sound whatever it is if that's
what's driving this experience of being
unattractive go ahead and just convert
that to an image if it were an image
where would the image be and where is
that image like we're in your personal
space to see that image just by becoming
aware of how you're creating this
experience of being unattractive as in
what do you see or what you hear that
alone will help you understand that
you're creating this experience of being
unattractive it there is no universal
truth or there's no universe universal
fact that you were unattractive this is
simply an experienced you're creating
just having that understanding will get
you some distance from it and some
understanding that you're in control
here and when you understand that you're
creating this experience then you can
understand and realize that you can
change it and you can create the
experience that you want if you started
with an image that's the first step so
see the image of whatever let you know
that your own
active now great that image from a scale
from one to 10 10 being the most
attractive and one being the least
attractive of what is this image of you
was it a 1 or as a 10 or what is it
anywhere between start working on that
image and make it ten what would it take
to get that image to attend so work on
this image morph it into an attractive
image of yourself you can change things
like hair color or if you have a rather
plump face you can actually make it
thinner because these are things that we
can do we can lose more weight we can
color here feel free to work on the part
of you that you can change what you
don't want to do is if you look nothing
like Brad Pitt don't look at this image
and create an image of brad pitt and say
that's what I want to look like her
that's me marking my image into who i
want to be attractive me if you don't
look anything like Brad Pitt this is not
going to work
not even close resemblance to maybe so
you want to work with what you have and
make that image of yourself as
attractive as possible get that image of
yourself to attend the once you have
that image to the attractiveness of a 10
or close to attend what happens when you
double the size of that image what
happens when you make it brighter and
what happens when you make the colors
more rich some of these might not help
enhance the feeling of being attractive
or make the image compelling but play
with this until you find what is going
to work best for you that really makes
this image compelling and attractive to
stop just short of making the image
overwhelming you want it to be extremely
compelling the not better
you don't want to overload your senses
you wanted to be so compelling that it
feels like it's sucking you into the
image like you can you want to move
toward that image because because that's
how compelling it is once you have that
breaks today you can do that by just
thinking of something else get your mind
off of that and then go back to the
image go back is it still there or did
the old image come back the old image
came back you want to shatter than image
and replace it with the image you
created and maybe you still need to tune
up a bit and try this a few times for
its state come back to it as an image
still there doesn't
actually stay there it should sometimes
it doesn't
so if it's not you want to practice
shattering the old damaged and replacing
it with a new image and next time or if
there is a next time that you feel
unattractive are ugly go back
what is that image that is there if it's
not the compelling image of you being
very attractive replace its shadow that
old image put the new compelling image
in its place
how does this even work I don't you
might be thinking you might be thinking
sure i can think on super sexy and
attractive all I want but that doesn't
mean that other people are going to
think that I'm sexy and attractive
I've had the experience of meeting a
beautiful woman and after talking to her
for a bit and realizing that she was
very shallow very critical of people are
judgmental about people that physically
she started to look less attractive to
me and I've had the case many times
where I'm talking to someone a woman who
I don't think is that physically
attractive but her personality is just
so amazing that she projects and
attractiveness and then she physically
starts to look more attractive and you
see this all the time and men as well
there are plenty of heartthrob movie
stars out there who aren't that
attractive but they have that appeal
they have their attractiveness because
it's more about what's coming from
within and the image they're projecting
of themselves so much of physical
attraction or attractiveness has to do
with the energy that you put out there
the more you have this compelling
attractive image of yourself the more
you will be compelled to become that so
much so that you might be surprised to
find that you started dressing better
you start grooming yourself better just
overall you make yourself look more
attractive but it's also was coming from
within you that energy that you're
putting out there
the other reason why this works is
because you're taking back control of
yourself image in your self-esteem
you're not being dependent on other
people for your self-esteem that's
really other esteem so when you take
back control and you know you're
attractive
you feel it that alone is sexy and
attractive take back control of your
self-image and take back control of your
self-esteem and move toward becoming
more and more attractive by creating
that compelling image of yourself
the the true attractive you that
attracted this that is inside of you
that's inside of all of us want to
master NLP techniques like these and you
want to master your life
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