An ice driving challenge in Lapland. The Arctic Circle.
A full-size reconstruction of the Paul Ricard race track (5.8 km) on a frozen lake in Arjeplog.
"Gentlemen, choose your weapons.”
The weapons! What’ve we got?
The Mitsubishi Evo 9, 280 bhp spread over an all-wheel drive. It’s outrageous, unfair. 350 3-mm studs per wheel. That’s 1,400 studs in all. More than in your neighbourhood hardware shop.
The competition: a frail Yamaha WRF 450. Funny design, this. Only two wheels. And one measly 449cc cylinder giving 50-odd bhp.
Clash of the Titans Part 2: The exceptional Porsche 911 GT3 RS.
This iconic 6-cylinder develops a potent 450 bhp. Weight: 1,445 kg. What did they go sticking all that scrap metal round an engine for? Tyres: 235mm wide, bristling with 580 3-mm studs for a total of 2,320 – ?Home Depot’s got nothing on this!
The competition: The sexy Yamaha YZF 1000 R1, World GP 50th-anniversary edition.
6-position traction control. 3-mode variable throttle control.
"Gentlemen, choose your weapons.”
“This one’s for you, Kiki.”
“Who’s Kiki?”
Kiki’s our little rat mascot/riding companion who died on our way up to Lapland.
All the proceeds of this fantastic face-off will go to Kiki’s family. RIP Kiki!
Gentlemen, start your engines!
First gear, accelerator down, a brutal clutch release … And the mega-studded Porsche GT3 RS stays stuck to the spot.
On the first kilometre, the GT3RS is obviously taking a bashing!
Plus its engine placed way back in the boot where you usually keep the luggage and its poor weight transfer when braking makes it dicey to drive and none too efficient (on ice, of course!).
Its 450 bhp output isn’t any use; the main thing is to play the throttle like a piano to figure out the right skating speed and maintain at least minimal grip.
Turns out the R1 accelerates nearly as fast on ice as on dry ground.
It clocks up 258 kph on the long straight stretch of the Paul Ricard track,
pulverising the former on-ice speed record held by Craig Jones by 20 kph
It’s the max lean angle that’s the problem for the R1 and its rider.
This isn’t your perfect, mirror-smooth ice rink, the snow stops the studs gripping the snow properly
And as a result, the 5kg of studs make the bike really heavy
So what do you think happened with those two in the end? The inevitable.
With a best time of 3.02.07, the Porsche GT3 RS was 39 seconds slower.
As for Serge Nuques on the R1, he crashed on the ice trying to see just how fast he could go.
But with that lead, he had plenty of time to get back on the bike and finish first!
AND NOW FOR A SHORT COMMERCIAL BREAK
“To make good iced coffee, senõr, you don’t just need good coffee, you need crashed ice.
And to make good crashed ice …
The Porsche GT3RS? No good.
The Yamaha R1 by Serge Nuques: now that makes for good iced coffee!”
On to the Mitsubishi Evo 9 and the Yamaha WRF 450
This one’s going to be a much closer fight
The Mitsubishi has a top-notch all-wheel drive and super-easy steering, whatever the quality of the snow.
It’ll be a hard slog for Serge Nuques with a top speed of only 147 kph,
but he’ll make the most of the large handlebar, 21-inch front wheel and ultra-light weight of the WRF 450
450 to keep his machine in perfect line and slide sideways through the turns.
And he’ll obtain the same result as in the first face-off –
– an icy crash, but a win in the end with a tiny one-second lead over the Mitsubishi Evo 9.
The Yamaha WRF 450 completes its fastest lap in 2 minutes and 51 seconds: 28 seconds slower than the Yamaha R1’s extraordinary time.
OK, so maybe we shouldn’t have organised an endurance race.
On one last, wild run, the back tyre of the Yamaha R1 is under so much pressure, what with 5kg of studs stuck in it and being spun around at more than 250 kph, that it explodes.
Well, at least that gets everyone back on good terms – the smelly little biker and the unimpressive cagers on four wheels.
"Serge, your bike is beautifull but you can't domore than 3 laps with it? Do you want to get in my car?"
“No, no, Serge – behind please.”