Hi! Two for brunch.
Oh! Bottomless brunch!... Twinsies.
Do you have margs?
Do not text Ashley back.
Her dad has a boat.
You know how Ross followed Rachel on that plane? You need to find a girl that you would do that for.
I know but somebody's calling me from...
Oh my God. I can't even.
It's like so cold in here.
It's literally freezing.
I know.
That's more your side then my side.
Both your sides are good.
Come on! One of my sides is fucked up.
You keep saying that. No one knows what you mean.
Your balls look huge in this picture.
Like I even have balls.
What kind of kale do you have?
Like steamed kale?
...kale
The kale casserole?
Do you have a cold-press kale?
Texting your dad right now.
Oh! Let's send him a pic of us.
Did you do silly?
Yeah, I did silly.
Ok.
I just got your snapchat. This is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.
No!
I'm dying right now.
Shut up.
*singing* Won't take nothing from nobody. Yeah...
I wish I could sing like you.
Shut up. Thank you.
Alright! Let's dance! Let's go!
Come on, Chris! Let's get turnt!
I love you!
Ahh! Twinsies!
Oh my God! She's here. I told you she'd be here.
We did not come here for her. This is our night. This is boys' night.
Dance with me. I--She hasn't seen me. I don't think she's seen me yet.
I hate drama.
Is she here with another guy?
Oh shit! There's Dave. He'll kill me if I don't say hi. Dave! Do not text Ashley! I will rip your balls off and steal'em for my own, ok?
...I'll never forget with the people I'll never remember.
*drunk laughter/talking incoherently*... with the people we'll never forget!
*singing* And we can't stop! And we won't stop! Woooo!
They're not even looking at us!
I'm just gonna text Ashley
You are not texting--
I'm just gonna text her really quick.
I'm gonna text her, "You're a liar." And then I'm not gonna text her.
No! Gim'me the phone!
Fine! I'm not gonna text her for the rest of the night.
Why?!
'Cause you can't!
She's a liar!
Shh. What she did was wrong. *sobbing*
Chris! Turn to the bushes!
*sobbing* I'm that guy!
You're doing great.
I'm that guy!
You are not that guy, ok? Ok, yeah we'll sit down.
*Shoe slams*
*singing* And we can't stop. And we won't stop.
*singing incoherently*...yeah, yeah
I love you.
I don't like anyone else but you.
She's a boatload of problems if you ask me. Seriously though. She's a shipwreck. A pirate of love just anchoring you down.
The 2 minute 30 mark will bring you to tears. I gotta watch this for one second.
Ugh! These people here are so fake.