As a fan of choppy things. Whacking one thing with something else. Splitting wood, breaking
apart limbs… the normal idiot stuff that keeps the neighbors from starting up conversations…
I’m always on the lookout for the next big long sharp dangerous thing, to hit that other
thing. Or in this case, last call at amazon late at night looking for something to take
home from the best seller list (drunken voice) you look pretty good… I pulled the Condor
Golok. It’s on the first page of results when you search for machete, and since it’s
popular it has to be good, so that’s why I bought it. Now because it’s popular I
figured I could go swing it around at shit around in the backyard for some clicks. So
let’s break this down… In my head a standard machete is light, and has a thin flexible
blade stock. And for new people the term blade stock i means you can cook it with some noodles
to make soup. Then we have choppers, which are generally shorter with a thicker less
flexible blade, big ass knives can fall into this category but still be knives, and machetes
that are stouter and heavier can also be choppers. Personally I think a good chopper has an 8-14
inch blade and is built for a pounding. Like the Golok with that big thick butt. But before
this sounds any creepier let’s take a look at those dimensions- like the overall length
and weight. With and without the sheath. This is my second to last video I shot at the old
place. You miss it, I miss it. Blade size and chopping edge. I also shot a video with
some axes last summer I never got around to editing. I chopped off a finger in that one
and it grew back. Handle size and grip area. It’s my super power. Spine thickness and
handle thickness. I was hoping to fell some trees.. But I didn’t have none to fell.
Tallnesses. In the present tense I prefer to call it falling a tree, and then I’ll
say that I’ve felt it after I’ve fallen it. It’s how knife bros talk.
So the Condor Golok is technically a machete, but it’s important to differentiate that
it’s shorter and heavier than a typical machete, when your explaining your purchase
to your significant other. A man on the internet told me I needed to buy this. The Golok is
chopper- it’s what I like to think of something you use for heavier branches and shrubbery.
If you can even find a shrubbery. You can do standard light duty machete bullshit with
it too, but since it’s heavier, it’s probably best to just go ahead and buy a standard machete
like Condors Latin machete, and just carry both of these. Along with your folding knife,
fixed blade, and axe. Which I call my patented 5-blade every day carry system. But that’s
for another video. Right now Let’s take a closer look at that blade. On the Golok
we have about a 13.25 sharpened cutting edge. There is distal tapering… which happens
from the handle to the tip more, than from the spine to the edge. So closer to the handle
the cutting edge is more obtuse, and near the tip it’s more acute. The 1075 carbon
steel is powder coated- not glossy but more satiny with not a lot of textural resistance.
The blade had a minor flaw- and kudos to Condor for trying to hide it with what looked like
a sharpie. Luckily I’m not that dude. You know those dudes- you’ve seen them on forums-
returning their hard use big ass blades for an imperfect powder coat thats going to be
rubbed off anyway. Don’t be that guy, suck it up and go chop with it. Which brings up
a topical question. Does killing the resale value of your knives mean you’re doing it
wrong or right? Discuss. The blade came relatively sharp, not push cut paper sharp, but chopping
sharp.
The handle. My gut feeling the reason this particular machete is so popular is that thick
sexy backend. Even without a real front or rear fingerguard or quillion… the Golok
stays in the hand when you swing because the rear is so thick. The handle is smooth and
comfortable, and there aren’t any real hot spots in the handle. For example Ka-Bar makes
it’s Parangatang, and the handle on that one is kinda so so. I know knife makers love
to add flourishes to set their shit apart- however the Parangtangs finger groove comes
to a peak that could be uncomfortable for some grips. You might have to train yourself
on the best way to hold it… versus the Golok, which you can pick up and start swinging.
Without care or proper training in machete safety. You watched one Youtube video- that’s
good enough. The smooth walnut handle scales are not easily removable because they’re
riveted. Like you when watching a knife video. (Voice in distance) No, that’s erect!
The sheath. It’s a high quality sewn and welted leather sheath. The handle rides a
little high for my tastes, but since the belt loop has a pivot point to allow the sheath
to swivel, it gives you some freedom of movement. Of course a dangler with a leg loop would
have been amazing, but condor didn’t ask me. If knife makers made the perfect sheath
every time, then there would be no secondary market to spend your money on. It does not
have a loop up top to aid in retention, but it’s still a pretty tight fitting sheath
and not the easiest draw. I’m sure with time and use it might start wobbling around
in there, but during my usage so far it’s not an easy draw.
Comparisons. First the Golok, it’s a fairly well balanced machete. Again… it’s a shorter
reach than what I would refer to as a basic 18er machete, but it’s stouter and heavier.
Your hits land with more force, so it’s a ideal blade for limbing and chopping. If
you’re an idiot like me, you might even use it in place of an axe. Here it is next
to the classic Ontario 18” machete. This is not a super light machete either, but the
Golok is a a quarter pound heavier, whilst being shorter. Outfitted with a sheath the
Ontario machete is still about $25-$35. The Golok has since gone up in price and is now
about $85. I’m sure it’ll be a hundred next year for the same shit. I like the handle
on the Golok a bit better. Now the Marbles.. this is a little over a pound, making it over
a half pound lighter. Brush, limbs, thick weeds, this is a better option for most people,
who aren’t encountering larger limbs or bamboo. I mean don’t get me wrong a real
dumbass can still fuck up a tree with it too, if they’re determined… but it’ll take
a lot longer. Only about $20 fully outfitted with a sheath and a sharpening stone. And
here it is next to the Parangatang, a similarly priced chopper from Ka-bar. This one is made
in the USA, and has a comparable heft and thickness to the Gondor Golok. I prefer the
handle of the Golok, the finger groove on the Parangatang takes some getting used to
and I ain’t got that kind of time. I prefer more neutral grips on my machetes. Finger
grooves are fine, but ones that are too small or have a peak like this that separates the
finger aren’t my cup of beer. I haven’t found an index finger groove on a machete
I love yet.
Wrapping it up. The Golok is a fun chopper. I don’t think it’s a favorite of mine.
I prefer shorter blades like kukris for chopping. Most of my Kukris are made from thicker blade
stock and are generally heavier and shorter. That’s not to say the Golok is a thin machete,
just relative to kukris… the Golok is much thicker than standard machetes. As you might
not know I’m not a dude who lives in an area where I use a standard machete a lot
either. I don’t live in the jungle and I’m not a genuine Youtube homesteader. Most of
my use has been limited to breaking up large limbs or bamboo. So shorter balanced choppers
work best for me- like my zombie tools vakra. One day I need to line up all the shapes and
varieties of my choppers and break apart a lot of wood… so as soon as I have a full
day to go out and chop things with a video camera that will happen. Which is not anytime
soon. My feeling is that still my best performing choppers are shorter and thicker. Remember
the knife hobby, despite what any internet asshole will tell you is more about feelings,
emotions, and even brand attachment.. than cold hard facts. So if you like this sort
of youtube bullshit, go ahead and chop that like button, or baton it, or smash it… leave
a comment… subscribe here and on Instagram where I post knife related content, do the
patreon thing, or don’t. Also shoutout to new knife reviewer Tucker S on Youtube and
American Knife Enthusist on Instagram, both linked below. Thanks for watching.