>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.
GIVE IT UP FOR JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN," EVERYBODY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) (SINGING)
>> Stephen: JON, DO YOU EVER GO OUT AND -- LIKE ON A SHOW
NIGHT, DO YOU EVER GO OUT ON A SCHOOL NIGHT AFTER THE SHOW?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU'RE A JAZZ MAN.
YOU'RE A NIGHT CRAWLER, RIGHT?
YOU HAVE TO LIVE AT NIGHT.
>> NIGHT CRAWLER LIKE THE XMEN -- NO.
SOMETIMES I'LL GO AND WRITE MUSIC BECAUSE I GET INSPIRED
BECAUSE I WON'T KNOW IT'S COMING AND I WILL HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN
IMMEDIATELY SO I WILL BE UP ALL NIGHT WRITING MUSIC.
I TRY NOT TO GO OUT AND PLAY BECAUSE I WANT TO GIVE ALL MY
ENERGY TO THE PEOPLE, YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND.
THAT'S GREAT.
I DO, TOO.
I WANT TO DO THE SAME THING.
LAST NIGHT, I ACTUALLY WENT OUT WITH FRIENDS DRINKING TILL ABOUT
MIDNIGHT.
>> Jon: OH, YEAH?
>> Stephen: I DID NOT REALIZE I WAS GOING TO DO THIS TILL I
WAS WITH THEM, WE HAD GOOD CONVERSATION AND I LOOKED AT MY
WATCH AND SAID, LORD, HAVE MERCY, THEY REALLY POUR A STIFF
DRINK AT THIS PLACE, AND I'M JUST SAYING I CAN'T GO OUT ON A
SCHOOL NIGHT BECAUSE I END UP SAYING THINGS LIKE TWUMP!
THAT'S EXACTLY WHERE THAT CAME FROM!
>> Jon: WELL, IT'S ENDEARING.
>> Stephen: INDEARING?
>> Jon: YEAH.
>> Stephen: ENDEARING, PITY, VERY FINE LINE.
( LAUGHTER ) ANYWAY, HAPPY TO BE WITH
EVERYBODY HERE.
YOU GUYS LIKE FORTUNE COOKIES?
( AUDIENCE YELLS YES ) ME, TOO.
IT'S A GUILT-FREE DESSERT BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO DESIRE TO
EAT THE COOKIE.
I LIKE ANY FOOD THAT GIVES YOU A FUN MESSAGE, LIKE WHEN POPSICLE
STICKS HAVE JOKES ON THEM OR WHEN ALPHABET SOUP ACCIDENTALLY
SAYS "BOOBS."
FRANKLY, I WISH THERE WERE MORE FOODS THAT YOU COULD OPEN UP AND
GET A NICE MESSAGE.
WE NEED SOME HAPPY NEWS, RIGHT?
WE NEED SOME GOOD NEWS ALL THE TIME TO MAKE US FEEL BETTER.
WHY DOES PT FOOD PROVIDE THAT FOR US?
WELL, GUESS NOW -- GUESS TWUMP --
( LAUGHTER ) GUESS WHAT?
NOW THERE IS FOOD THAT DOES THAT.
IT'S TIME FOR "THE LATE SHOW'S GOOD NEWS BANANAS!"
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) OKAY.
EVERYBODY KNOWS HOW "GOOD NEWS BANANAS" WORKS.
I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU, BUT I WILL.
THIS IS BANANA MAN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) OKAY.
HE'S PART OF A BREEDING EXPERIMENT.
HE'S HALF MAN, HALF BANANA -- >> A MANANA!
>> Stephen: AND EACH OF THE BANANAS HE HAS ON THE TRY
CONTAINS A MESSAGE, LIKE A FORTUNE COOKIE, W EXCEPT THEY'RE
ALL GOOD NEWS.
FOR INSTANCE, MY GOOD NEWS BANANA HAS A SLIP OF PAPER
INSIDE THAT SAYS, "GOOD NEWS!
IF YOU MEET THAT GORILLA WHO KNOWS SIGN LANGUAGE, YOU HAVE
SOMETHING IN COMMON TO TALK ABOUT."
( LAUGHTER ) OKAY?
SO THAT'S GOOD NEWS.
DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
COME WITH ME, MANANA.
ANYONE OUT HERE WHO NEEDS GOOD NEWS?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO PLAYING ALLY CAT )
YOUR NAME?
>> SERENA.
>> Stephen: WHERE ARE YOU FROM IS THAT.
>> WAYNE, NEW JERSEY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHERE FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE BAND GOT ITS
NAME FROM THE COMPANY CALLED FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE.
>> I DID KNOW THAT.
>> Stephen: IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WAYNE,
NEW JERSEY?
>> I THINK TOM CRUISE WENT TO A MIDDLE SCHOOL IN WAYNE,
NEW JERSEY.
>> Stephen: CAN WE CHECK ON THAT?
BECAUSE YOU DON'T SEEM THAT CERTAIN.
IF TOM CRUISE WENT TO A MIDDLE SCHOOL IN MY TOWN, I WOULD KNOW
BECAUSE HE'S TOM CRUISE.
ARE YOU A FAN OF MR. CRUISE'S?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT LEVEL OF RESPONSE JUST BROKE TOM CRUISE'S
HEART.
HE FELT THAT.
WOULD YOU LIKE GOOD NEWS?
>> I WOULD.
>> Stephen: YOU PICK.
I DON'T WANT TO LEAD YOUR BANANA.
YOU'RE OPENING IT FROM THAT END.
>> YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
OPEN IT FROM THAT END?
>> SO YOU CAN HOLD IT LIKE THIS.
>> Stephen: I ALWAYS OPEN IT FROM THE OTHER END.
HOW MANY PEOPLE OPEN IT FROM THE END SHE JUST OPENED IT ON?
YOU'RE ALL LIARS!
( LAUGHTER ) OPEN IT UP, WE'LL SEE IF YOU'RE
RIGHT.
ANY GOOD NEWS ON THAT END OF THE BANANA?
>> I DO NOT.
>> Stephen: I SEE NO GOOD NEWS!
YOU JUST TURNED THAT INTO A BAD NEWS BANANA.
( LAUGHTER ) KEEP GOING.
KEEP GOING.
SEE NOW YOU'VE GOT NOWHERE TO HOLD -- THERE IT IS.
OKAY, SO READ YOUR GOOD NEWS.
>> GOOD NEWS!
YOU WOKE UP TODAY.
OR AT LEAST ARE HAVING A VERY WEIRD DREAM ABOUT BANANAS."
>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS.
ENJOY YOUR BANANA.
♪ ( PLAYING ALLY CAT )
>> Stephen: WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
KEN JOHNSON.
>> Stephen: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
>> MANNEDVILLE, LOUISIANA.
>> Stephen: NORTHERN OR SOUTHERN LOUISIANA?
>> SOUTHERN, NORTH OF LOUISIANA.
>> Stephen: JOHN, DO YOU KNOW MANNEDVILLE?
>> YEAH, I KNOW MA MANDEVILLE.
>> Stephen: ANY CONNECTION TO TOM CRUISE?
DOES THAT CHECK OUT?
>> Jon: YES, IT DOES.
>> Stephen: DO YOU NEED GOOD NEWS?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE A BANANA.
CHOOSE WISELY.
WHAT!
THAT'S CRAZY.
DID YOU PICK THE RIGHT BANANA?
>> I THINK SO.
>> Stephen: NO, WAIT, I THINK YOU --
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> "GOOD NEWS!
YOU'RE JUST TWO BANANAS AWAY FROM BEING ABLE TO MAKE BANANA
BREAD.
GO MAKE TWO FRIENDS!" >> Stephen: GO FORTH AND MAKE
TWO FRIENDS.
CONGRATULATIONS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO PLAYING ALLY CAT )
>> Stephen: WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
KATE.
>> Stephen: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
>> NEW HAMPSHIRE.
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOU GOING IN NEW YORK CITY?
>> VISITING ON MY DAUGHTER'S BREAK.
>> Stephen: WHERE'S YOUR DAUGHTER?
HI.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
WHERE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE?
>> NEWTON, NEW HAMPSHIRE.
>> Stephen: DID YOU MEET EVERY PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE?
>> ON THE BLUE SIDE, YES.
>> Stephen: ON THE BLUE SIDE.
YES, I DID.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: HOW ARE YOU
FEELING, KATE?
>> I NEED GOOD NEWS IMMEDIATELY.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, GREAT.
WOULD YOU LIKE IT IN BANANA FORM?
>> IF THAT'S ALL THAT'S AVAILABLE.
AVAILABLE.
>> Stephen: SO CHOOSE.
ONLY TWO BANANAS LEFT.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, SEE WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE.
>> I'M GOING TO WAKE UP AND I'M ACTUALLY IN A DREAM.
>> Stephen: NO.
THERE IT IS.
>> OH, IT'S IN THE BANANA.
>> Stephen: YEAH, WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY.
>> HUH-OH.
>> Stephen: WHAT YOU HAVE GOT THERE?
>> "GOOD NEWS!
IF YOU WANT, YOU CAN LEAVE M -- GOOD NEWS, IF YOU HAVE A
DEADLY BANANA ALLERGY, ALL YOUR PROBLEMS WILL SOON BE OVER.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS!
THAT'S IT FOR THE "LATE SHOW"'S GOO"GOOD NEWS BANANAS"!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH LAUREN GRAHAM!