- Red Lobster has the best bread.
- It's all about Red Lobster
- My mom's bread is the best.
- Outback Steakhouse.
- It is?
- Yes it is, I love it so much, it's so good, and I see it.
- [Voiceover] Do you have any butter?
No? Not a little bit?
- Brown means healthier, right?
- That's so true.
- There's like, bread that you eat the inside out of.
- Mhm, this is it.
- This is good!
I don't discriminate, if you put bread in front of me
I will always eat it.
- It's like not dripping in any sort of oil
and I wish it was.
- I'll give it a five.
- Wow, you have high standards here.
- Bro, we're talking about bread.
- No, I don't like raisins in things
'cause you think it's chocolate and then it's not.
- That's true right.
- It's the rudest surprise.
- Oh, that one's really good.
- It has carrots in it, I hate carrots, but I like this.
- But you know what, maybe it's like healthy
but it's actually good healthy.
- This is a breakfast bread.
- You're like, Mom why are you giving me this
this is something Grandma would eat.
- I'm getting a little oil on my fingers.
- You could probably like
just put that underneath your eyes.
- It's a lip balm.
You get lip balm afterwards!
(both laugh)
- ♫ We know what this is, unlimited bread sticks ♫
- Woah, is it Olive Garden.
- It looks like it would be, like, somewhat good
but it just was disappointing.
- Mmm, makes me think of arguments with my parents.
We always argue at Olive Garden.
- I feel like I remember it being so much better.
- Flavor: nine, bread itself: three.
- This brown one looks good.
- You and the brown ones.
- Woo! It's my favorite bread in the world, baby!
This is, I believe, the Outback Steakhouse.
- Oh, okay.
- [Woman] Nope. - [Man] Nope.
- [Woman] Nope. - [Man] No.
- That was a pleasant surprise.
- I'd say that was absolutely a surprise.
- I think I know what to expect but, whoa this is heavy.
- Wow.
- Ooh, I like this.
- This is huge.
- Oh my God.
- The yeastiness on it, that sounds really gross--
- Girl, put it in your mouth.
- I was never a fan of this type of bread.
- I mean, Winnie the Pooh would love it.
- Oh my God.
- Oh my God, it's like a orgasm in your mouth.
- To me this is perfect.
- I'm so excited for this last one.
(sings)
- [Woman] Mhm? - [Man] Mhm.
- [Woman] Mhm?
- [Man] Mhm. (woman laughs)
(woman laughs) (man moans happily)
- I have to go on a run or something later.
- Back where I'm from used to sneak this into their purses.
- Everyone does.
- Oh, really? Okay, people would put 'em in their purses.
- Everyone does.
- Bread heaven.
- Breaven.
- It doesn't need butter.
- No, it has butter in it.
Look at the little pieces of butter.
- They like inject it.
- Mhm.
(imitates injecting butter)
(both moan happily)
- Red Lobster.
- Texas Roadhouse.
- This was my favorite for sure.
- Like, without butter, this was a surprise contender.
Kicked everybody else's ass
- It's so good.
- And it didn't need butter.
- Red Lobster.
- Red Lobster, don't eat the lobster.
Just eat these, that's all you need to eat.
- Red Lobster.
Yeah, let's pretend like we're all surprised.
(laughs)
- I just really love carbs a lot.
- I love carbs too.
- I just love them so much.
- No, me too, and it's like wrong, it's like wrong...
- You know what, it can't,
something that feels so right cannot be wrong.