Yeah, I know you just worked a 72 hours shift, but
I was gonna go watch a game with the boys.
But if you really need me, I guess I can stay.
Go lay down, relax, you deserve it, you've earned it.
But by the way, before you go, can the kids have beer?
I forgot, can they have beer?
Hey, babe, sorry to wake you, now you're resting.
But can you just real quick show me how the toaster works?
Do you know where the remote is?
>> Women online are speaking out about what's been
dubbed weaponized incompetence.
When a person acts like they aren't capable of or
don't know how to do something, that's an important but it's simple,
everyday task in order to avoid having to do it.
Sure, it's not only men who do this, but let's be honest with ourselves,
it's mostly men.
And I'm not just saying that I didn't just pull that out of my ass,
there's data to back it up.
So let's get into it from The Huffington Post.
A 2020 Gallup study conducted in the United States
found that even among egalitarian minded millennial couples,
women are still more likely to clean the house, shop for groceries, cook meals, and
make decisions about furnishing and decorating the home, I know that's right.
The study found that while men do take on a few domestic responsibilities,
they take their cues from older generations and pick up tasks that can be
done on their own schedules like car maintenance and yard work.
Now, this term got renewed attention this month when a Twitter user asked people
to share their personal anecdotes of weaponizing incompetence.
And let me promise you, the threads did not disappoint.
[LAUGH] Let's start here with Kelly Mangan, who said, I asked my ex,
a 40 year old man who'd been living on his own for 20 years,
if he'd boil some water in the kettle for me.
And he asked, how do I do that?
To be clear, this was his house, his stove, and his kettle.
[LAUGH] We have this one from Ruthann, who said,
my ex put bleach in a dark load intentionally.
When I asked why, he said, because I don't wanna do laundry and
you'll never ask me to do it again.
[LAUGH] And then this one, my ex's favorite joke was he didn't know how to
cook and deliberately misinterpreted instructions.
Ask him to brown the ground beef in the pan on the stove, and
he tossed the whole container, styrofrome plastic and all in that bitch.
Now, we've got some more examples, but, Cenk, I have to ask, as a man,
[LAUGH] have you ever done any weaponized incompetence?
>> Me?
Never, never.
>> [LAUGH] >> Okay, no, seriously, first of all,
we'll discuss and debate whether I'm guilty of this,
I'm gonna give you an example later, okay?
But first, let me give you examples of my life from other people.
So, time to throw folks under the bus, okay?
So this is not only men, my grandmother used to do this all the time.
I can't reach the dishes, I guess someone else has to set the table.
Cooking, yeah, I'm such a bad cook.
Do you really want me to?
Okay, you're cooking great, okay?
So this is a trick as old as time, okay?
And now I'll use a guy's example with other guys, not with women.
So I was sorry, Steve O, but I throw him under the bus every time he used to be
here, he used to do aggressive progressive with us.
When we played football every time once in a while, the teams would get so large.
We'd have an offensive line, but nobody wants to play line,
they wanna play quarterback.
And Steve's a pretty good quarterback, and he wants to play it, but
we'd have to rotate the positions.
So whenever he played offensive line, he just let the guy right through,
and we'd get sacked every time.
He'd be like, I am so bad at offensive line,
I guess I have to be quarterback again.
So, [LAUGH] this is not just about housework,
it's done in a thousand other contexts.
That's why I love this story.
If you didn't know about it before and you didn't know the term before,
now you're gonna think of it all the time, because you're gonna see
it in your personal life and go, weaponizing incompetence.
>> [LAUGH] >> Okay, so, now, Ray, have I done it?
Yes, the question is, was I right or wrong?
Okay, so there are two caveats here, in my opinion.
One is, yeah, but who's better at that task, okay?
>> [LAUGH] >> Okay, I'm serious.
So, for example, I do suck at cooking, and so
I haven't cooked my whole life, even when I was single for
a long time and broke, the max I could do was mac and cheese, okay?
And then I came up with one dish, one dish that I could do, spaghetti alajenka, okay?
And what that is, is spaghetti butter, and then I throw two eggs on top of it, like
two sunny side up eggs, and then I mix it up and I go, yeah, look at that, okay?
But that's all I got, anything more complicated, I never did it for myself,
even when I really needed to, because I was broke, I still didn't do it.
I was like, I'll just eat more cereal and more Hot Pockets, right?
So you're just not good at some things, and that's real.
And some things I'm better than my wife or my partners, etc, whoever it might be.
And I go, why would you do it?
No, I'll handle that.
What, am I gonna have them lug around stuff when I'm significantly larger
than them?
And I'm lugging, I got no problems with.
And the other thing is, and now this is the controversial one, who's working more?
And again, this is not a male or female thing,
I know a couple where the woman works in finance.
And it's not just that she makes a Jaganna money,
which she does, but she works long hours and the husband works part time.
Well, then, brother, it's on you to pick up the load right at home.
And he does, and he does, right?
But I think those are important caveats thoughts.
>> I actually totally agree with you, and I have a personal example from my life
that I was gonna say anyway, so it works out perfectly.
My mom is the breadwinner in my family, and my dad, he is a musician.
He mostly works weekends, sometimes he would work nights.
He's mostly retired now, but my mom is younger, so
she still works a full time job.
She's always been the 9 to 5 every single day.
So my dad was the person who cooked for us at home.
My dad was the person who got us ready to go to school in the morning cuz my mom
would go to work before him.
And so my mom is the person who comes home and
she sits down on the couch and she's like, I don't have a drink.
And she'll stare at my dad like, could you go get me, [LAUGH] a Diet Pepsi?
[LAUGH] So she's definitely the person.
I mean, she does a lot, I don't wanna take that away from her.
She does all the laundry, she's the person who cleans,
my dad's never been exceptional at that.
But my mom is the person who definitely sits down after work and
is like, I forgot to grab this, could you go get it for me?
That's so far away.
[LAUGH] >> Yeah, and look, I think that I get it,
and she worked hard and she brought home the bacon, and there's some logic to that.
And I know that's a little old school, but I also believe in logic.
And I know that people are gonna think, yeah, it's just an excuse.
No, but I always think if someone is up, it's way better for
them to get something than the person who's sitting, right?
So if I'm up and someone asks me to get something, I think, yeah,
of course I'm already up, right?
But if I'm sitting and I ask someone who's up to get something,
they catch feelings like, 89% of the time.
They're like, yeah, I guess you don't wanna get it.
I'm like, no, I'd have to get out from behind this thing and
walk all the way around, and you're right next to it.
Can you just grab it, right?
I don't know, but everybody's biased.
I'm biased, too, so maybe I'm seeing it differently.
>> I got to say, we got some other examples, [LAUGH] but
before I get into them, I have to say, my brother and I,
we always followed the rule, whoever's closer has to get it.
So before he would ask me to get something,
he would strategically get up and walk away.
So he would be, >> [LAUGH]
>> Wow, that's a little bit of cheating.
But you guys are onto the right track, though.
>> [LAUGH] >> That was his weaponized incompetence.
>> [LAUGH] >> But like we're saying,
it's not just in relationships, it's family members who do it, too.
So we've got some examples of that.
[LAUGH] This Twitter account said, my dad is 73 and
claims not to know how to run the, [LAUGH] washing machine.
I got to say, I don't understand people who say,
I don't know how to run the dishwasher.
I don't know how to run the washing machine.
Just press the button, it's right there, it's self explanatory, it's not hard.
[LAUGH] But then Taylor said,
my dad hasn't learned how to use any of the washing machines we've ever had.
He knows how to use the ones at the laundry mat, but only goes there and only
does his laundry when my mom gets fed up enough with his stuff and goes on strike.
>> [LAUGH] >> Dr pepper
>> Labor power.
>> Baby, right?
>> [LAUGH] I had to read this guy's name, I love it so much.
Dr. Pepper sugar baby says, not my relationship, but we no longer have glass
dishes in the house because every time my dad's been asked to do dishes,
he purposefully breaks a glass to prove he can hold glass.
>> [LAUGH] >> And this last one,
if you could believe it, is the most insane one.
My ex refused to clean his bathroom, and when he moved out,
the faucet wasn't working, and
I learned he hadn't showered in at least six weeks and was just using baby wipes.
>> That one. >> [LAUGH]
>> So yeah, I'm so
glad you brought that one in, Rayvana.
That's the one where I was like, no, dude, >> That's wrong.
>> Come on, right?
But at the same time, that one is ironic, if you think about it,
because a dude who doesn't shower for six weeks, that isn't about other people,
he really couldn't figure it out.