- Heh hah!
It's daddy time.
- Ladies and gentlemen, the father…
(laughs) the father…
Ned! Ned’s here!
- That’s me! Yeah!
Thought I was supposed to enter after “the father.”
(laughing)
- I was like…
- That’s it, that’s me!
- Uh, here is my credit card.
- You’re giving us your credit card?
- Yes.
You get daddy’s credit card.
- I’m always so used to Ned being so cute and funny.
Definitely didn’t expect him to be the spark of my daddy kink.
(screams)
- I am married!
Please!
- Next up, Lord Fulmer!
- Thank you.
- Father of Wesley!
Husband of Ariel!
- Soon to be father of to-be-determined baby name.
- TBD baby!
(Eugene laughing) TBD baby!
- Come on!
Yes!
(all exclaiming)
(cheering) Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!
- Mustache! Mustache!
- Like daddy, but he’s also an actual…
He made a baby.
- Is our reward Ned?
- If it was Ned, I’d be so excited.
(drumroll and triumphant fanfare)
- No.
(all cheering)
- I can’t believe it!
- Yay!
(all cheering)
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Yes, yes, yes!
- Woah! That looks awesome.
- Yeah, it looks really good.
- We made a movie!
I come bringing baby photos.
- Oh shit!
- Come on, Ned.
Come on, daddy.
Come on, dad.
- Here comes daddy.
- Gotta do it for Wesley.
(shoots arrow)
(groans)
- [Zach] Papa, I’m so hungry!
- No, no! Don’t say that!
- Papa!
- Don’t say it! I’m trying!
- Papa, I haven’t eaten!
- Daddy’s gotta go to work.
(groans)
- Hypothetically, someone may have been very busy trying to start a tea empire.
- Don’t talk to me about busy!
Don’t talk to me about busy!
I am the daddy here!
I am the father!
- We’ve entered your section.
- Ha!
You are paired in the dad joke section with an actual father!
- Do dads laugh at dad jokes?
- Oh, yeah.
- Or do they just tell them?
- Nah.
- So you’re at a disadvantage here.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What did the officer molecule say to the suspect molecule?
- I don’t know. What?
- “I’ve got my ion you.”
- You held that together pretty well.
- I did.
I was really struggling to make sense of it.
Molecules don’t typically have ions.
- Oh, that’s why you didn’t laugh.
- Yeah.
- He was actually deciphering the science in his head.
- Ned’s nerd overtook his dad.
- There’s something weird in the mustard.
- Oh, we’re getting a reaction!
- What is it in chemistry?
- This is a base and mustard is acidic.
We’re having a little reaction over here! - Shut up!
- Wow! Science daddy! - Oh, it’s foaming!
Thank you, science daddy!
- You know what we should do?
Make a volcano out of the mustard.
- Okay!
- Alright, alright, alright.
- (laughing) Gimme a little border.
- Oh, god.
- He’s making a volcano
- Oh my god.
- This is not the video that we were supposed to make!
We’re supposed to be making little toothpaste pills!
What is this?
- In “Keith Eats Everything at McDonald’s,”
what was the story about the chem lab that got cut off by Zach calling Ned a nerd?
(giggling)
- I used to work in a chemical lab, right?
- Uh huh.
And so one of my coworkers used to work in a factory, like a chemical…
- Boring!
- Well none of us know it ‘cause Zach keeps keeps cutting you off everytime you get nerdy.
- Exactly.
- It’s ‘cause he’s…nerdy.
- Wow, Zach.
Your words are hurtful.
They will be remembered.
- You were an R+D chemist
for a soap foam…for soap foam levels,
like how much soap would foam.
Don’t keep writing over there, you little cheat cheater!
Cheater over there! He was writing.
Did the camera catch that?
- I wrote the word “nerd.”
- Yeah, well if you wrote down “nerd,” yes, you’re being a bully.
- Well, then, wait, look at my answer.
Nerd!
- I don’t appreciate this.
- Honestly, I didn’t know, so I just wrote whatever Zach said.
- Uh, Ned checked bubbles of soap to make sure it was bubbly enough.
Nerd.
- Those are true, but what I was trying to tell you in that video
was McDonald’s uses chemicals to peel their potatoes for their fries.
- Wow. - Oh!
- I remember, you did tell us that.
- They don’t peel them with a knife.
- I take it back. That’s fascinating.
- Thank you!
- Keith, you get some points.
- Alright! ‘Cause I didn’t call you a nerd?
- Yes.
(laughing)
- You want me to add parentheses where you’re supposed to already do it?
There!
I’m done!
As long as you follow the operations.
We’re just adding parentheses
to, like, reinforce the fact that it’s dividing and multiplying!
- [Rachel] Yeah!
- This question f**king bullshit!
- [Keith] Is it big giant numbers?
Is that how it’s happening?
- I hope it’s big giant numbers!
(all cheering)
- 1500!
I’m going to the college of my dreams!
- You went to one of the most prestigious universities in the world.
You would never wanna go somewhere lesser than Yale, right?
- No!
- Ew, you would never want to join…
…Harvard.
(Ned screaming while the others laugh)
- Ew! Nasty ole’ Harvard! Bleh!
Ew, Harvard! Bleh!
How embarrassing! A Harvard grad?
- F**k Harvard!
- But what would be even worse
than just Ned being a part of the Harvard family?
Ned’s whole family being a part of the Harvard family.
- I don’t mind that one as much.
(laughing)
- Wes looks cute with a big ole’ curly black mop, huh?
- Horrifying.
Ariel looks pretty cute, though.
- Alright, so this is toothpaste pills: 5-minute crafts.
(laughing)
- Alright, here we go.
(all cheering)
- Woo! Yeah!
- Yes, daddy!
- Make it rain!
- Daddy!
- Yes, daddy, thank you, daddy!
- And, is it daddy?
Well,
you tell me.
- See you later!
- Bye, Ned! - Bye, dad!
- Bye! - Bye, dad!
- Can’t believe that man made a sequel.
- I made a baby with my balls.
- No, no, no.
Ned, Ned, Ned, Ned, Ned.
(coughs)
(gags)
- Hit subscribe.
- Thanks, Zach.
You know?
My dad beard’s really growing on me.
(all cheering)
- Daddy likey.