Fuck!
That's how I feel inside.
I do. That's how I feel inside. All the time. Fuck.
All the time. I'm just...
fuck.
Fuck.
And fuck is just not a potent enough word,
to be honest with you.
It's not strong.
Once you speak another language,
you realize,
you realize that the English language
is just like a newborn, you know.
It is. It's a new language.
Like, I speak Arabic. Arabic is an ancient language.
English is like it's baby. It wants to grow up
and be Arabic one day and it's just...
It is, it's just...
No, it's fine.
It's just a baby. It's just a baby. It's not a--
It lacks a lot of depth. It's just not,
it's just not very strong, like "fuck",
it's nothing. It's an exclamation point, you know.
Even greetings in Arabic
takes so long, you know.
Greetings are like, "Peace be upon you."
"And may peace be upon you."
"And the mercy of the divine be upon you."
"And may the mercy of the divine be upon you."
"And may divine light be with you."
"May it be unto you as well."
"May it protect you and your entire linea--"
"Hey, man, can I get this pack of cigarettes, bro,
and get out of here?"
It's a lot.
It's a lot. In English, it's, "Hi."
That's it. It's over.
It's over.
"What's up? The sky?"
That's it, there's nothing else.
It's nothing.
So when somebody curses you in English,
sincerely, you could probably walk away
99.9% of the time
if you didn't get emotionally charged.
Really. It's an oldie but a goodie.
"Hey, fuck you!"
"I don't wanna fuck you."
And you could, just walk away.
"Hey, go fuck yourself!"
"You know what, man? I've been really tense lately."
"And maybe what I need to do is go fuck myself."
"Hey, you're a motherfucker."
"Not my mom, but..."
"My ex-wife did have child from a previous marriage,
so I guess I am a motherfucker."
"And by the way, your father, biggest
motherfucker of them all, technically."
"Hey, you're an asshole!"
"You know what, the eye cannot see itself."
"And I cannot see when I'm being an asshole,
so thank you for making me a better person."
And just walk away.
"Hey! You're a pussy!"
"Yeah, I'll take that."
I don't know why "pussy" always insinuates weakness.
Pussy is metaphorically and physically very strong.
So strong!
It's true.
Absolutely true.
It's so strong. It can have a baby.
Human life.
Pounds of human flesh
can come out of this little, tiny hole. Pop!
And it can have two at the same time. Pop! Pop!
It can have three. Pop, pop, pop.
And then it regenerates... like this.
Almost. Exactly how it was. Almost.
Almost. Exactly how it was.
Maybe if you laugh or cough, you piss on yourself, but otherwise...
Otherwise, it's there.
Ready for you once again.
My friend, Chris,
passed a kidney stone out of his dick hole.
He damn near died, okay.
He was like, "Oh, God, what's happening to me?"
He was like, "Somebody shoot me!"
And it was a grain of sand that came out of his dick hole.
Women, "Pop! Pop!" Come back.
Little grain of sand...
You be a dick. I'll be a pussy any day of the week.
Arabic curse words.
They're really graphic.
They're so graphic I don't even use them. Honestly, I just...
We're gonna start here and build up.
Like "Kes Emak",
which means...
"Fuck your mother's pussy!"
Very specific.
We take that to another level.
"Kes Emak Eli Nafadek"
which means...
Which me-- two people, "Yeah, I know what that means."
Everybody else is on their toes,
"What does it mean?"
It mea-- "Kes Emak Eli Nafadek"
which means,
"Fuck the pussy you slithered out of!"
Wow!
Astaghfirullah I know, it's crazy.
Everyone saw the baby fall out.
It's a visual curse word, that one.
This is one of my personal favorites,
"Yelaen Tarekhek".
Which means,
which means, "Damn your entire history."
"My great-grandmother?"
"No, bitch,
from the beginning of time..."
"...to present day and everything in between and in the future,
fuck your DNA."
Astaghfirullah, I don't need this. Salam.
Even Western hand gestures.
Not that big of a deal.
"Uh, fuck you bro, uh."
In England it's a reverse peace sign. Very confusing.
"Oh, fuck off, oh."
And they try to be like, "No, it's from the war, yeah."
I'm like, "Shut the fuck up, okay.
It's not that cool."
Arabs, we go to another level.
We go sideways, we go "BeTizik", like this.
BeTizik, like that.
BeTizik, like this.
A little pop...
BeTizik, like that.
Little wiggle. BeTizik, like that.
BeTizik, like...
This means "in your ass." That's what this means.
That's what...
And if there's any confusion,
you just put the other hand up like this
and you go BeTizik, like this.
And you wiggle it.
You wiggle it, all up in the ass, that's right!
I feel like a lot of people are gonna be leaving here, like,
"Hey, Kyle."
"Yeah."
"BeTizik bro!"