- So what does a man actually do
when he's totally in love with you?
Well, we posted that question to our community
and the responses that came back were brilliant.
So today, I'm gonna share with you eight things
that women have experienced men doing when they are in love.
Check it out.
(upbeat music)
Hey there, my name is Mat Boggs
and I'm the founder of the Love & Relationship division
of the Brave Thinking Institute.
And our mission is increasing love in the world
one heart at a time.
So if you're not a part of this community,
click the Subscribe button,
click the little bell so you'll get notifications
because every week we bring you videos to empower you
and inspire you in your love life.
So let's take a look at number one.
Number one is he loses track of time when he's with you.
Now, time is relative.
When you're doing something that you don't like,
five minutes can feel like an hour,
or when you're with the love of your life,
and they're gonna leave on a long trip,
you're not gonna see him for a long time,
an hour can feel like five minutes.
And so it's so easy when you're with someone that you love
to lose yourself, to become distracted,
to completely immerse yourself in that experience,
and that's exactly the example that got shared
by Dezra in our community.
She wrote in and posted this.
Dezra wrote, "The other day he sent me a long text
after he got back home late from work.
He had to cook dinner for him and his dad.
He actually burnt the dish he was preparing while texting me
and he blamed me for being a distraction."
(laughs) I love that example
because that example has happened to me
when I'm with my wife.
And now it doesn't happen all the time,
it doesn't mean your man has to always lose himself
in order to love you.
But there'll be moments when he loses track of time
because he's totally into you.
Let's take a look at number two.
Number two is he considers you when making plans.
The man who loves you is gonna take what you want
into consideration.
Whether he's making plans for the two of you,
or even if he's just making plans for himself,
thinking she might actually enjoy this.
Let me give you a quick example
of the opposite of taking you into consideration.
A buddy of mine came over to my place for 4th of July
and he was gonna bring his girlfriend,
they've been dating over a year.
He said, "Hey Mat, we're all coming over.
I know we're gonna be drinking,
so is it okay if we crash at your place that night
so we're not drinking and driving?"
And I said, "Sure."
So we have a great 4th of July, we're all drinking,
we're having a good time.
At the end of the night, I asked them, I said,
"Hey, should I go make the bed?
Are you guys ready to crash?"
And she looks at me like, "What?"
And she looks at him like, "Are we staying?"
And I'm like, "Yeah, he called me earlier
and said that you guys were gonna crash here."
And she looked at him and she goes,
"That would have been nice to know.
I could have packed a toothbrush.
I could have packed some clothes.
I'm gonna sleep in these clothes
and then go home in these clothes tomorrow?"
And he was drunk and he was being a jerk in that moment,
and he looked at her and says,
"Sucks to be out of the loop."
And I was like, "Dude, that's not cool."
And anyway, we got her a toothbrush,
we got her some pajamas to wear,
but it made the rest of that night awkward.
They were pissed, the next morning was awkward,
they were arguing.
Needless to say, that relationship didn't last.
She then went out,
found someone who does take her into consideration.
They are now married, they have twins
and it's a beautiful relationship.
And so when a man loves you,
he's gonna take you into consideration when making plans
because your desires, your wants,
you being comfortable matters to him.
Let's take a look at number three.
Number three is he sends you love songs
or he sends you playlists to listen to.
This one was actually submitted by Proud2bNana
and here's what she writes,
"He sends me love songs from YouTube, I love it."
Proud2bNana, I love it too,
because it's a great form of love.
When a man takes a song,
'cause sometimes we don't know exactly
how to express how we feel
or the depth of our feeling for you,
but it will be captured in a song,
it will be captured in the emotion of that song.
So when he sends you that song,
it's that expression of saying, "I feel this way about you."
So let me say this,
sending someone a song or even a playlist today
is a two or three out of 10 on the effort scale,
but sending someone a mix tape back in the day,
now that was a 10 out of 10 on the effort scale.
You really had to like somebody to create a mix tape.
Now, some of you watching right now,
you might be a little too young to know what a tape is.
A tape is a square plastic thing
that had wheels that went around it.
And what would happen is you would put the tape in
to record a song
and you'd have to wait for that sound to come on the radio.
And then when you heard it on the radio,
you run, you'd hit record on the tape deck,
and it was this whole thing.
So for you to get a whole mix tape together,
took a massive amount of effort,
it was hours, if not days, putting that together.
And I made a mix tape for my high school sweetheart.
Why?
Because I loved her.
So your man is sending you love songs,
your man is sending you a playlist, that's great,
but just know if he makes you a mix tape,
that's at a whole 'nother level.
Number four is he writes love notes.
I really think love notes is a lost art.
Not a lot of guys write love notes
and yet love notes are so powerful.
They are so impactful
when you receive something in writing
from the person that you love
it just speaks right to the heart.
And this is what Patricia posted.
Patricia writes, "I'm in a long distance relationship.
He sings to me.
He leaves me voicemails and he writes love notes."
About a year ago,
I was actually challenged in a program that I was in
to write daily love notes for a month to my wife.
And so I took that on
and I would write her these short little paragraphs,
these little love notes,
and I would leave them out on the kitchen table for her
and she would read them,
and it was amazing to me
to see the emotional impact these notes had on my wife.
Things that I thought I was telling her
but in written form, it just had such a deeper impact.
So if there's any guys watching this video right now,
bring back the art of the love note
and you will be amazed at the impact that it has.
Number five is he encourages you to live your best life.
And this was posted by Gael.
And here's what she says.
Gael writes, "He lets you be.
He encourages you to have a life,
to hang out with friends, family, coworkers,
and doesn't demand you to tell him where you are 24/7.
He wants you to have an independent life of your own
and trusts you 100%."
This is so true.
The man who loves you isn't interested in controlling you.
The man who loves you wants you to be fulfilled,
he wants you to pursue your dreams, to pursue your passions,
and he encourages you to do so
because his happiness isn't just what's happening for him,
his happiness is connected to your fulfillment,
your happiness, your joy.
So the more you're living that expressed full life,
the happier he is for you.
Number six, he futurizes with you.
And this was posted by Shweta, here's what she says,
"He includes me in every important moment in his life.
He always says that you are family,
he calls me his wife even though we're not married yet."
Now you may be the woman who you like that,
you would want a man to do that,
you may be the woman who you don't want him to say that
before you're actually married,
but the point is when a man loves you,
he will put himself in an imagined future with you.
Before my wife and I were married and had kids,
we would actually do this.
We'd be driving down the road
and she'd be being goofy and funny
and I would look in the back seat at our imaginary son,
and I'd say, "Bruce, your mom is being crazy right now."
And she would laugh and it was a fun game.
I was putting on this imagined future together.
'Cause we thought, wouldn't that be cool if we were married?
Wouldn't that be cool if we had kids?
And it became very cool
when we finally did have kids,
we had our first daughter, her name is Isabella,
driving in the car, Isabella's in the car seat,
Mom's getting goofy, crazy in the passenger seat, funny.
And I look back and I say,
"Isabella, your mom's getting crazy right now."
And Irene would laugh.
And so know this, the man whose heart is with you,
is putting himself in imagined futures with you.
Number seven is he loves to follow you on social media
and engages with you on social media.
And here's what one of our community members writes.
She says, "He calls me immediately
when I post something on my social media.
Like the other day I posted a coworker we lost to COVID
and he called me for condolences.
I'm a nurse and he texts or calls me
to say he's always thinking about me and praying for me."
So first, to this community member,
let us just say, we appreciate you, and we honor you
for the brave work that you're doing to help keep us safe
and help get us over this COVID time.
And that's a perfect demonstration,
when your man who's into you, he's loving you,
he's following you on social media,
he wants to be close to you
because what you think is important enough to post
is important enough to him to read.
And you don't have to ask him to do that,
he's gonna do that on his own
because he's interested in being a part of your life.
And number eight is he sees the two of you
in the world around him.
And here's a good example of what that means.
This comment got submitted and here's what she writes,
"In addition to the ones you posted here,
my man sends memes related to relationships,
and teamwork,
and good communication randomly throughout the day
and says things like 'This is so us.'"
I love that example.
That's brilliant because that's exactly how it works.
When your man is totally into you,
he's gonna see you in the world around him.
Things are gonna remind him about you,
he'll drive by the place you had your first date
and he'll take a picture of it
and send it to you and say, "Remember this?"
Because you're occupying his mind,
you're occupying his heart.
So now, my question for you is this,
and I would love to hear your answer.
When you love a man,
if you were gonna make him a mix tape,
what one song would have to be on that mix tape?
Go ahead and post that in the comment section below.
I appreciate you.
Thanks for watching and I'll see you soon.
(upbeat music)