-Please welcome Pete Davidson!
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
-♪ Pete Davidson ♪
♪ Ain't no mystery ♪
♪ Pete Davidson ♪
♪ Simply can't compare ♪
♪ Yeah ♪ -They love you.
-Very cool. -That's some love.
That's some love for Pete Davidson right there.
-It's a full crowd. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Right. -Oh, wow.
-Thank you for being here. I appreciate you coming back.
-Thanks for having me.
-"SNL" had a great season last year.
You had had a great season, as well,
so congrats again on that.
I wanted to ask you a question, though, because there was
an episode where I know --
I knew you were friends with him.
But it was Machine Gun Kelly and you
are at the end of the show, at goodnights,
and you're kind of hugging and celebrating.
And then you fall off the stage.
-Yeah.
-What was going -- What's the real story?
What happened?
-So, Colson -- or as you may know him as Machine Gun Kelly --
he bruised his coccyx that week.
If you don't know what a coccyx is, it's the bone in your ass.
-Okay. Oh, okay. Yeah.
-Yeah, it's from -- If you've ever seen
"Napoleon Dynamite," Uncle Rico says,
"Grandma took a spill at the dunes.
She broke her coccyx." Yeah.
-That's a good reference. -So, I thought he was joking.
He was like, "I broke my coccyx."
-He broke his coccyx? -Or he bruised it.
And I was like, "Oh, that's..."
He was like, "No, for real."
So he couldn't, like, walk or sit
and he had, like, a tushy pillow that he was --
It was just really cool to see, like,
the most gangster, thug dude I know
just, like, put a little tushy pillow down and, like, sit.
-Inflatable ring.
-Yeah, it's just, like, Megan Fox is right there,
and he's sitting on his little tushy pillow.
So, he was like, "For goodnights,
we should do something, you know, silly."
And I was like, "Or, you know,
you could just enjoy the moment and clap."
-Yeah.
-And he was like, "No, we'll think of something.
I'm going to, like, pick you up."
I was like, "I don't know if you should do that.
It's a crowded stage. You know, we should just clap."
And he's like, "Yeah, yeah, you're right."
And he got really excited and he went to pick me up
and he forgot that he had a bruised coccyx.
So he, like, went to pick me up, and then he couldn't go up,
so he just started to slowly tilt back.
And he went -- he went, "Oh, no."
And it was such a slow fall, we had time for him to go,
"Oh, no," and I went, "You're a [bleep] moron."
And -- -It was that slow of a fall.
-It was that slow.
I got the full line out.
-I have a clip.
-Oh, great. -I want to show everyone.
Here's Machine Gun Kelly trying to pick Pete up on "SNL."
Take a look at this. -Yep.
♪♪
[ Laughter ]
-Dude, I was like, "Yo!" -Yeah.
-That was --
-And then they cut right after that.
They went right to -- they went right to
whatever the next thing was.
So, I went to -- Nobody ever texts me during a show.
I went back, there was like 40 texts like,
"Yo, you alive?" [ Laughter ]
Yeah. -That was so funny, dude.
-Yeah.
-Last time you were on the show, we were talking about
"Suicide Squad" and "SNL,"
and I think I remember you telling me that you got a dog.
And I was like, "That's awesome."
-Yeah. -Congrats on that.
-Thank you. -Yeah. And then --
[ Cheers and applause ] -It's a big deal. Yeah.
-And now you came back here
and you just told me, backstage --
You go, "Hey, dude, everything's cool.
I just got a dog."
And I go, "Yeah, you told me that already."
-Yeah, I got three dogs during the pandemic, 'cause it's hard.
No, I got the first dog, like, for me,
but I had to leave and go do something,
so it had to stay with my mom.
And then, when I came back,
the dog was, like, really tight with my mom.
Like, more -- Like, it wasn't as excited
to see me as it was my mom.
So I bought another one. [ Laughter ]
-Yeah.
-And then, same situation happened,
where I had to go away for a little bit,
but I was like, "Can't leave it with my mom, 'cause she --"
-No. We saw what happened.
-Yeah, I saw what happened to the first one.
So I gave it to my sister,
'cause she's less lovable of the Davidsons.
[ Laughter ]
No, I'm just kidding. She's wonderful.
She actually just got her coat. She got coated.
She's, like, a registered nurse now.
-Hey! There you go. -Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ] Yeah.
So, I was like, "Safe. I'll give her the dog."
And then I came back. Same thing happened.
The dog was really in love with my sister and not me.
So I bought a third dog, and now she's with me all the time.
And this one, this one I think is gonna stay with me. Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-So now you got three dogs. -Yeah.
-I want to ask you quickly.
I know you're getting ready to work on a couple of projects,
but one project you're working on I'm very excited about.
You're going to play Joey Ramone?
-Yes. That is -- [ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.
I would also be hesitant to clap as well.
-No. -No, it's the craziest thing.
It was like a year or two ago, I got a call.
They were like, "Would you like to play Joey Ramone?"
And I was like, "Yeah." -Of course.
-But I thought it wasn't, like, a real thing.
And then it became a real thing.
So now, yeah, hopefully in January or February,
we'll start.
-This is amazing, buddy.
I've never heard you sing.
-I can't. -There you go. This is perfect.
-As a joke -- This is true.
Three years ago, I started taking
singing lessons as a joke, because I --
No, I just thought it would be funny if, like, one day, like,
I was just hanging out with the boys
and, like -- and just belted out a song.
-I know what you're talking about.
-Yeah, you know? -That would be a good bit.
-Just kicking it with the boys in the most
un-song-friendly environment and then just belt out, like,
Sinatra or something. -So you went through it?
-Yeah, so, I've been going to this --
For like a year, I went to this guy who --
He's a voice coach of the stars.
-Wow! [ Laughter ]
-And I remember going up to his apartment,
and he was like, "This is so great.
This is cool we get to work together."
He's like, "What project is this for?"
And I was like, "This is for my pure enjoyment."
-"Nothing. I'm just here to hang and learn something."
-I can't sing yet,
but I know what it's supposed to sound like.
-Alright, good. -Yeah.
-I can't wait for that. I think it's going to be great.
-Oh, one day, I will belt it out.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-I want to talk about this Sunday.
Madison Square Garden,
"NYC Still Rising After 20 Years: A Comedy Celebration."
Listen to all these comedians
that are going to be at the Garden this Sunday.
Amy Schumer, Bill Burr,
Colin Jost, Colin Quinn, Dave Attell, Dave Chappelle,
John Mulaney, Jon Stewart, Michael Che.
[ Cheers and applause ] I'm going to be there.
-Jimmy's going to be there. -I'm gonna be -- Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ] Thank you. I appreciate that.
-Very nice of you to --
You know, I know you're a busy guy,
so thanks for doing that.
-Are you kidding me?
You sent me a text and you go, "Well, I might put this thing on
with Jon, and would you be interested?"
And I go, "Anything."
Obviously, for the city and for you, I'd do it.
But, I mean, was it hard to get all these --
This is -- -The lineup is nuts.
Yeah, it's like the Avengers and me.
No, it was -- It was really cool.
Me and Jon just reached out to --
Luckily, we have really great friends,
and we reached out,
and everybody was super-stoked to do it.
And it was just like -- You know,
it's obviously, like, a thing that's, like,
close to me and stuff, so I got --
A lot of people wanted to do, like, a thing,
like some sort of, like --
you know, like, an article or, like --
And it all just felt really weird.
So I just called Jon and I was like,
"We should do something fun, like a fun little party,
and, like, just have a good time."
So that's how it came together.
And he does a lot, you know,
for firemen and a lot for the city, so it was just --
-Yeah, and all the proceeds are going to go to 9/11 charities,
I should say, so -- -Yeah.
-I'm hanging out with Pete Davidson,
ladies and gentlemen.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Thank you.
-We're about to play a game we call "Wheel of Opinions."
Here we go.
-♪ Wheel of Opinions ♪
-Okay, I will hit this button,
which activates the Opinion Topic Generator.
It'll land on a random topic.
Whatever it is, you have to give your opinion on it.
You ready for this? -Okay.
-Here we go.
First topic is...
[ Beeping ]
Corn...
Okay.
Would you rather be caught saying, "I went glamping"
or, "I'm hangry"?
-What's glamping? [ Laughter ]
-Glamping is -- is -- is --
People say glamping.
It's like glamorous camping, maybe?
People go like, "I went glamping."
Yeah, people know it.
-People say that? -Oh, for God's sakes.
Everybody knows glamping!
Everybody knows what glamping is!
-That is Jon Stewart right there!
-Glamping is very popular!
-I'll move over. -That's Jon Stewart right there!
Jon! -Hey, Jon.
-Welcome, Jon, to our -- -Hold on.
Let me put my glasses on
so I look like my opinions are smarter.
-Jon. Thank you, Jon.
Now, you were just streaming the show from home?
-I'm at work.
-Yes, I'm sorry. -I'm still at work.
You know, Peter, somebody has to make a living in this household.
[ Laughter ]
And it's me! -Jon...
-He comes home, he eats the peanut butter,
he drinks the milk -- he doesn't pay!
[ Laughter ] -I know!
Jon, do you have an opinion on glamping or hangry?
-Either one of those should -- And, again,
I'm not a man that's speaking for vigilante justice,
but if you were to use any, I believe it's not improper
to tie you to the back of a vehicle, maybe a Citi Bike --
-A Citi Bike! [ Laughs ] -...and drag you through
perhaps Sixth Avenue. -Yeah.
-Some people call it the Avenue of Americas.
-Of course they do. It's very popular.
-And to have townspeople curse your name
and spit upon you.
-Alright, that's a good opinion.
Jon, while you're here, can we just maybe get your opinion
on a couple other topics?
Let's try one.
-Jimmy, I was hoping you'd ask.
Here's one opinion you may not know.
I love Pete Davidson.
-Ohh! [ Cheers and applause ]
-I love Jon. -That's a fact.
-He is such a good guy.
-Oh, I love that.
Alright, how about any opinion on --
Let's see if Pete Davidson comes up
on the Opinion Topic Generator.
What?
Swimming with dolphins. -How nice!
-Yeah, I have an opinion on that.
Your generator is full of [bleep]!
[ Laughter ]
-What?!
What about my generator?
-Your -- Your -- Your topic generator!
-Yeah, why?
Swimming with dolphins -- do you have an opinion on it?
Not the generator.
-Oh, I don't have an opinion of swimming with them,
but I am pro-blow[bleep]
That's all I'll say. [ Laughter ]
-[ Laughing ] What's wrong -- What is wrong with you, man?
[ Laughter ]
Uh, Pete, any --
-I think it's a lovely thing to do
with your family on vacation.
-Okay, yeah. Okay.
You think it's -- That's perfect.
Also pro-blow[bleep] -Sure.
This is coming from a guy who's hangry.
-Yeah, okay.
Our final topic. Here we go.
The Opinion Topic Generator, Jon.
-Alright, what do you got?
-Oh. [ Audience "Ohhs" ]
-Mets versus Yankees.
I have a feeling where you're gonna land, Jon.
Pete, do you have an opinion, Mets versus Yankees?
-I always root for the Mets because their fans are sad.
[ Laughter ]
-But as a -- When you're a New Yorker, you get the choice,
and why -- You pick the Yankees 'cause they win.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-You know, first of all...
-But I always root for -- -You don't get a choice.
-I always root for the Mets.
It's like, it would be nice for the Mets or Jets
to win something. -Yeah.
Jon? Jonathan?
-As a Mets fan since the 1960s...
-Wow. -...I accept Peter's charity.
[ Laughter ]
And as fans, we win nothing, but it is not a choice.
My father was born in Brooklyn,
and we were not allowed to like the Yankees.
It was -- He would rather you smoke cigarettes
in the street
while drinking whiskey naked... -Yeah, as a child.
-...as a 7-year-old -- by the way,
not a good father -- [ Laughter ]
-He would rather that. -...than like the Yankees.
-That's correct.
So you are a diehard all the way.
Mets all the way, Jon Stewart.
-I believe... [ Bell dings ]
-...the key phrase there is "die."
We suck.
-Pete Davidson, Jon Stewart, everybody!
-Thanks, Jon.