would love to hear your thoughts on the dichotomy of honest self-expression
versus normal face and/or passion versus discipline if you are caught up on all
the podcast normal faces a game I used to play with my kids where they would
have to keep an expressionless face or what I called the normal face and you I
would line up my kids and they would have to keep that face and then if they
changed their expression anyway I would hit them in the head with a rip the
inside cardboard roll of a thing of wrapping paper and or I had eventually
made like foam pieces for it because they were a little bit more durable and
you could hit really hard and it would not hurt so anyways I know it sounds
like you should call child services on me but it's fun game to play because as
you hit one kid it makes the other kids laugh and then you end up hitting them
all and everyone's laughing that's fun so and there's also a pragmatic reason
to do it because it teaches people to control their emotions and there are
times there are many times where you have to learn to control your emotions
and as kids if you learn to control your emotions it's gonna be beneficial for
you in many ways but does that mean that you should keep a normal face all the
time never show emotions no it's not like that at all there's like everything
else there's a dichotomy that you have to balance if your kid wins a wrestling
match you should be happy and great and smile
and yeah high five right that's cool if you bite into a amazing piece of prime
rib that your wife cooked for you then you should raise your fist in the air
and say yes my wife the first time she ever cooked prime rib
she she and she we didn't know this but she has a talent you know she cooks dry
chicken prime rib she knocks it out of the park first time she ever cooked
prime rib and I took my ID smelled amazing I was like oh this is I took my
first bite I looked at her and I looked up at her and I said I want to read that
redo our vows for marriage renew the vows renew the vows so yes um
you know scenarios like that yeah you want to show your emotions and if here's
something if your team slacks off and if you fail the mission you fail the task
of course you're gonna own it but you might you know you might want to show a
little anger about what happened so that everyone knows like Oh chuckle doesn't
normally get mad and he's mad yes and we really did something bad and you know
even though your blade on yourself I can't believe I've let this down you
know I mean like you show a little bit that people okay so they're you know
social most you if you get bad and well if you give them news that that you know
you got a friend that died we know that's you got to let those
emotions out there's all kinds of situations where emotions are not only
acceptable but they're needed and they're required and in fact if you
don't have emotions in those situations that's horrible
you need to have them not only as a person as a human being you need to let
out your emotions sometimes but as a leader if you don't show any emotions at
all no one's gonna follow you there's no connection between you and the people on
your team and if you ever if you just sit there and think about people you've
worked for that didn't have show emotions you have no connection with
them you don't care about them you'll leave you won't go the extra mile to get
the job done so you have to show emotions but of course there are many
times in life in the world where showing your emotions are gonna have a negative
impact on your situation your you give up the takedown you just do competition
mm-hmm and you show it in your face that person just thinks that it's both you
right you don't show any emotion their boss tells you're getting stuck with the
underperforming team show any emotion right don't don't oh man mmm don't do
that but hey what about this there's a good one
boss is giving you feedback that you don't agree with roll your eyes I mean
the heavy sigh the clenched teeth as you're
trying to listen with this perfume even respecting me telling you what's that
gonna get you not gonna get you anything then showing that negative emotion there
you need to keep normal face in that situation your kids doing something
that's annoying it's trying to test your patience and they're just trying to piss
you off don't let them keep it in check
get told to go to the other line in DMV after you been waiting for an hour one
don't freak out don't show any motions got it here's here's another one we
already talked about this one your friends are poked in front of you
because you missed a shot at the range or you got lost on a land navigation
course or whatever get all mad don't get frustrated
don't show any emotion you know they make fun of your haircut they make fun
of your accent they make fun or whatever don't show emotions don't freak out
that's the other balance now there are also times where you might have to force
yourself to show some emotion just to get the point across right your kid
hasn't listened to you after five or six violations hmm you might have to show
some anger or they'd or they do something that's gonna get him hurt
right you've got to show some emotion so that they realize that was real but
flying off the temper and lying off the handle and losing your tempers it almost
never does you any good so yeah you have to be balanced in order to be balanced
you have to be in control and in order be in control you have to detach from
your emotion so you can control your emotions and not let your emotions
control you I think we already talked about this one part before we're like
you know like with your kids or whatever and you're you fly off the handle not
fly off the handle but you you show emotion you raise your voice and yell at
them because this one is important this is less than that I'm teaching you
obviously didn't get it before whatever your thing you can't do that every
single time you know every single lesson like okay oh he'll this effective when I
raise my voice let me just raise my voice now right logically limb die if
that if that is what induces their compliance let me just do that bread it
doesn't work that way because after all I like opera at all
just don't know you know so yeah you gotta be like nervous yeah yeah or yeah
just be like normal face no face no face everything you know and then like the
one time use it it's like this what do you call them there's this video game I
used to play it's like you could just press the button you blow up everybody
anyway long story but yeah don't use it all the time is what I'm saying just use
it like sparingly use your same yeah judiciously good I dunno yourself