Hey there, I'm here for the Prime interview.
Oh, yes. Come in. Please stand on the circle.
Circle? What circle? There it is. All right, here we go.
So, what would you like to be called, if you were Prime?
Um, if I were a Prime, I would really like to be called Riddicus Prime.
Riddicus Prime?
Hmm..... It has a slight ring to it, decently marketable.
Okay, so the big question is; what makes you special?
Why should we give you the honor of Prime?
What can you do?
Well, that's a lot of questions but uh... I recently discovered that I can change the shape of my body.
Interesting.
So, how does it work? Is it like you can morph into any inanimate object or to any Transformer or---
Well as of right now. I can only change into one shape.
Okay.....?
But I'm pretty sure I can learn more as I go along.
So, is this one form like a huge gun?
Um..... Here, it's better if I just show you.
Alright, floor's all yours.
BEHOLD!
TA-DA! Nailed it!
Pretty cool, right?
Uh... So, do you want me to do it again? Or... 'cause I can do it again.
(SIGHS)
Literally.....
EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET CAN DO THAT!!!!
What??
GUARDS!! Get this fool out of here before I slap the spark out of him.
Wait! No! He told me I was special! You can't do this to me!
NEXT!!
All right, what do you want to be called?
Succimus Prime.
(LAUGHING)
What?
Oh no, no no.
That's--that's great. I'm sorry.
What can you do?
Well, for one, I can summon a black hole.
Oh, yeah, right... Wait, really?
That's why I chose Succimus Prime...
...cause' I suck things.
(SNICKERS THEN LAUGHS)
I don't get it.
H--Hey, wait, we--we could totally use a black hole on the battlefield.
Excellent. I knew this would be something you'll be interested in.
Can you show me?
Um, I don't know if you would want to see it here.
Nah, it's fine.
Maybe in a more controlled environme---
No need to be nervous, my friend.
I'm not nervous. I just don't think it's safe.
Oh...
Well, I don't understand why you would tell me this but not show it. Kind of defeats the purpose of this whole interview
I really wanted to see you SUCK SOMETHING, you know.
Oh well, I guess we'll have to move on to the next recipient.
Oh, actually, I think I could do it here.
Oh. Well, that's great to hear.
All right. Just stand back a bit. Don't want anyone getting sucked in, if you know what I mean.
(SNICKERS)
...stop it, Prime....
BLACK HOLE! I, summon thee!
Whoa! What is that?
That, is the Dimensional Decimator.
The thing is with this, you have to make some space between you and the mind...
...or else you'll be----
(SCREAMING)
Oh.....
That's why.
Well, the only thing he sucked at WAS HIS INTERVIEW!!
(LAUGHING)
The answers to all your questions have just arrived.
All right, what would you like to be called?
Stealthimus Prime.
Let me guess, you can turn invisible.
Yes! I can turn invisible. How did you know?
(GROANING)
Wait, it's actually pretty good. We could totally use that!
Really?
Yeah! For like, recon missions and shit.
I guess you can tell the other boys outside to go home.
You got your next Prime.
Do you think you could show me?
Yeah, but be ready!
It's kinda loud.
Come again?
Um, be ready, it's kinda loud.
Yeah, I heard you, but...
(SIGHS)
...I don't understand.
Oh, no worries, mate. I'll give you a demonstration.
Okay.....
(INHALE)
(SCREAMING)
OH MY GOD!!
( CONTINUE SCREAMING)
OKAY!! Stop! Stop! Stop!
Jesus!
Did I make--Did I make an impression?
(SIGHS)
What is the point of being invisible...
IF EVERYONE KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE?!!
What do you mean? You can't see me at all.
NEXT!!
Hey there.
So who do we have he----HOT ROD?!
I want to be called Rodimus Pri---
Get the hell out of here!
GUARDS!
Wait, what?
Sir, you need to leave now.
Wait, I just got here! This isn't fair!
Just give me a chance.....
(SIGHS)
What name do you want to be called?
I--I haven't figured it out yet.
What a loser.
Oh, not off to a good start now.
Real diamond in the rough, aren't you?
Oh, Um...But, I can change the way I look.
I swear to God, if you transform...
Oh, no no no. It's... not like that.
It's more of an... aesthetic change.
Please explain.
Oh, like... my paint job and Energon color
I can change my color scheme.
Ah...
...I see.
Okay, you may now demonstrate.
Alright, just give me a second. I need to concentrate
(SIGHS)
You got this, you got this.
And.....
BOOM!!
Holy Scrap! Guards!
Red Alert! Decepticons have invaded the building!
WAIT!! NO, NO! NO, NO! IT'S JUST ME!
OPEN FIRE!!
IT'S JUST---
(SCREAMING)
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! (SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
DIE!