Toxic Alpha Male Habits [0:00:00]
In today's video, gents, we're talking about alpha male habits that are complete [bleep
sound]. The first toxic alpha male habit you need
to drop, using women as your validation of success. Gents, this takes a lot of forms,
and I'll share with you my story of falling into this trap.
So, I had a period in my life from my teens to my early 20s in which I thought the definition
of an alpha male was one that slept with as many women as he could. I mean it made sense
biologically, right? The alpha male, he's got his pick of the litter. He can go out
there and plant his seed wherever he wants. Gents, that's not reality. And I turned away
from this lifestyle because I felt hollow inside. I was having these shallow just straight
physical relationships and really what I wanted, I wanted a partner. I wanted somebody that
I could have shared experiences with. The next toxic alpha habit you need to jettison,
always having to one-up others especially your friends. And, I'm not talking about healthy
competition, I'm talking about the unhealthy, oh, somebody actually is sharing a victory,
I can't let them get this win. I've got to show that I'm better.
And you know what I'm talking about. Maybe you just started working out, you just squatted
200 pounds. You're proud of yourself and you tell some of your friends and guess what?
Your buddy, “Oh, I squatted 500 in high school. You got a ways to go.” I mean what
this guy talking about? That's something that may or may not have happened 20 years ago,
you're just talking about a victory this morning. Gents, don't be that guy. I know I have. Restrain
yourself and celebrate other people's win. Don't just always try to one-up up.
The next toxic alpha habit, insulting, belittling, trying to make smaller those around you. So,
a lot of online alpha somehow think that pointing out the shortcomings the mistakes of others,
somehow raises up their status. Gents, it doesn't work that way. When you
make fun of others, when you belittle other people, you don't make them smaller. You actually
make yourself smaller. It shows your true character.
Weak men are like crabs in a bucket. As soon as they see someone that's got an upper hand
someone that's starting to make their way out, they go over and they cut their legs
out from under them and they try to crawl on top of them. Strong men, they find a way
to get up and then they reach down and they grab others and lift them up with them.
Now, these next three, let's hit them together; cutting people off, talking over people, and
bullying. So, cutting people off, and you may not even
know that you do this, but you let people start their conversation and then you cut
them off. You jump right in and you take it over. Now, once or twice maybe because you're
excited, that makes sense. This can happen. But, if you consistently do it because you
feel that it's able to show that you are in power, you're the boss, you're the dominant
one in the office or in the relationship. Guys, that's just, yeah, that's a toxic alpha
habit. A lot of guys, they're not even aware they do this. So, ask, actually pay attention
are you cutting people off. And then, let's get over to talking over them.
This isn't where you just cut them off, this is where you continue to talk and you push
them down because you've got a stronger voice. Maybe, it could even because you're taller.
You're literally physically in and you're talking over them and they're -- physically
they can't compete with you. Guys, understand that if you're talking over
people, this is not a good habit and it's not a way to win a conversation. It just gets
the other person to be defensive or to walk away.
Now, let's talk about bullying aka the use of intimidation. And you could say that cutting
off, that speaking over falls under this. But for me, bullying intimidation you actually
know what you're doing. There's more intent here.
And a lot of guys will go, oh, well, in nature we see it. If you want to look at, you know,
the alpha, he intimidates those around him. That's not entirely true. When we see that
in chimps, what we find is that if they rely only on intimidation, they don't live very
long. Because they've got other ones that are not happy with this, there needs to be
a little bit of a balance here. And I'm not making a case for bullying or
intimidation, but I am saying that you shouldn't really just look at nature and we are much
more complex than chimps in the way that we interact and our society. And, guys it is
something that, yeah, if you're having to bully and intimidate, it's just not something
I think is a tool that alpha males use especially around their friends and their family.
The next toxic alpha habit, never apologizing. A lot of guys view this is I'm never going
to look back, I'm going to keep going forward, that other person they will get over it. Yeah,
I'm going to probably, you know, you got to break a few eggs to make an omelet, right?
Here's the thing is that actually having you know just feeling for other people and realizing
that these are human beings that you may be stepping on. And it goes down to a lot of
guys which takes us to the next point are so cutthroat. They view this as war. This
isn't war as war. This is life. This is business. And I think to equate those two things with,
you know, oh, well, you got to be ruthless. You got to go in there. That really I think
is very narrow-minded. The most successful people I have met in life the true alphas
I've ran into they’re very much they have empathy. They understand that we are human
beings. They do apologize. They're not so cutthroat.
And that takes me to the next point which is they understand they can make mistakes.
Guys, this is key, to understand that we are all human and that you make as many mistakes
if not more than a lot of people out there. And what's great about this is, of course,
you can course-correct, you can change. But, if you don't think that you make mistakes
and you never apologize, you're going to -- we're going to go home one day and there's going
to be nobody there because people do not want to be around a human being that's like that.
[0:05:03] The next toxic alpha trait, you hide your
weaknesses from everybody. You're not going to let anyone ever exploit you because you've
been exploited before. You know that these weaknesses other people can get in there,
so for good reason you protect yourself. You don't let anyone get close which is actually
the next point, you never form any deep relationships. You realize you're in this world you're on
your own. And for the person that believes these two things right here, I feel sorry
for them because, yes, you're going to get burned in life. You're going to have relationships
not work out. You're going to have friends who you thought were your friends betray you.
But, by turning away from that, you're going to miss out on all the opportunities to be
vulnerable and to have somebody actually come in and complement you and make you stronger.
Have friends that will stand up and fill in those holes and all of a sudden becoming much
more than you ever could alone. Gents, understand when you've got good partners
you've got great people around you, it's not one plus one plus one equals three. It's one
plus one plus one equals ten equals a hundred. You're able to in many ways do things and
grow in ways that you can't even imagine. And speaking of growth and self-development,
gents, don't stop here. Go check out this video I've got for you right here, ten self-destructive
obsessions that men have and they need to get rid of. Guys, I enjoyed this video and
I bet you're going to learn something new. And, remember, if you take action, you too
can improve your life. [0:06:26] End of audio