- What's up, everybody?
It's your boy, F.J.
Today we're starting a three part series
on Social Minimalism
and today's video is about
the fear of missing out or FOMO.
Social Minimalism and your typical minimalism,
getting rid of clothes and stuff
has sort of the same end goal,
because when you're de-cluttering the physical space
the point is to reduce anxiety and create more happiness
in your life by de-cluttering.
Social Minimalism, same thing just in the social arena.
The root cause of social clutter
is fear of missing out.
While FOMO
may just seem like some cute term
that just describes some mundane thing that we go through
it's actually a big issue, especially with the Millennial
generation, my generation.
Alright, so FOMO, if you didn't know,
what it is, is the feeling that we're missing out
on something important, something really good,
or at least it's better than what we're doing now.
It's also the feeling that we're wasting our time
doing what we're doing now, or that if we make a decision
we're gonna regret having made it because there might
be a better option.
Maybe everyone else is having a bunch of fun
and doing great things and we're not.
The symptoms of FOMO are,
procrastination, anxiety, indecision.
Do you have FOMO?
Now the reason our generation has such issues
with fear of missing out and why the future generations
are probably gonna have it worse
is because of this digital world we have
and our immersion in social media,
'cause you know how it is.
On social media, on the social meeds, if you, who says that?
On social media it's like everyone is telling you the story
of their life day by day, post by post, picture by picture,
and of course, they're just showing you the highlights.
They're showing, oh this great thing happened!
Oh look at this!
Look at this place I went!
Look at what my dog did!
And whether people are conscious of it or not
the message that they are putting out there
with every social media post is,
look at my life man, look at how great it is,
look at how happy I am and I think I'm doing better
than you are.
Obviously comparing ourselves with others
and the other side of that trying to act like we've
got it better than everyone else.
This is nothing new.
This has been going on for forever.
Back before social media you could still see all
your friends get married before you are
and have families and make more money than you,
while you feel like a loser in comparison.
However the difference is now on social media
you get to see that with a thousand of your closest
Facebook friends.
At least before social media when you saw people around you
that you were comparing yourselves with,
there was some investment in the relationship.
Now to follow someone on social media, on Facebook,
to look at their Snapchat stories it takes zero investment.
You don't have to be involved in their life at all,
and yet you get to see their story and how great it is,
and how you're missing out on all the great stuff
in their life.
Even if your friends are humble-joes, you still have
celebrities to look at and see how they're wealthier,
their partners look better,
they're having so much fun in life,
they're so fulfilled by their career.
It never ends.
Social media just opens us up to the entirety of human race
and we can compare ourselves with anyone.
And social media allows us to see all the stuff
we're missing out on.
All the things our life could have been or could be,
and we're not doing that,
so be sad.
Fear of missing out is not just limited to a feeling
that we get, but it also causes us to take some actions
that are not so good for us,
and in many ways just keep the cycle going.
So when you're feeling this fear of missing out,
what it's gonna make you do is try to accept
every social invitation that comes your way
because you feel like you can't turn it down.
You don't wanna miss out with what's going
on with everyone else.
I mean, I don't wanna turn down an invitation
and then the next day see a post on Instagram
of everyone having a great time at the pizza party
that I missed out on.
I could of had so much fun and here I was instead
reading a book.
Who reads books man?
Another ironic compulsion that comes about from FOMO
is constantly checking social media
just to see how much we are missing out.
Part of it is like, this weird thing of like,
oh man let me make myself feel bad
by comparing myself to other people,
but another part of it is,
I need to keep tabs on everybody
'cause I can't let them get too far out of my grasp.
If I stop following people and what they're doing
I'll just be totally left behind in the dust.
And it will be hopeless.
I need to know what I'm missing out on
so that I can then base my life off
of other people's lives.
Of course this compulsion is bad, 'cause it keeps you
in the cycle of this anxiety of FOMO.
And it's not just comparing yourself with other people,
but it's also the feeling like you've got to keep up
with every thing that everyone is into,
so if everyone is really into this T.V. show, for instance,
in your friends circle, you're gonna be like man,
I've gotta watch this too, or I'm gonna be excluded
from the group in a way.
Or man everyone's going to this new restaurant,
or everyone is talking about this news story.
I need to make sure that I am not missing out
on what everyone else is looking at.
The problem is that we become social maximalists
where we're just trying to do as much as we can
to stay plugged-in.
We're saying yes to as many invites as we can,
and we're trying to like, be a well-rounded person
as we see it compared with everyone else.
We're like going out and taking a bunch of classes.
We're trying to watch all the T.V. shows
that everyone else is watching.
We're trying to travel around the world
so that we can keep up with our globe-trotting friends
and say, oh look at me, I've been to Zimbabwe, cool.
Maybe you even go so far as to be like,
I've gotta get into a relationship and take pictures
and show how happy I am.
We max out on the social stuff.
And I'm not saying it's bad to be social, it's not bad
to hang out with friends,
it's not bad to go take a class and do what you wanna do.
What is harmful is when you just go for everything
and try to add everything that you can to your life,
just to keep up appearances and not feel like you're gonna
regret not doing it, because you see everyone else doing it.
We're being driven by an anxiety that if we say no,
or if we slow down when it comes to this stuff
that we're just gonna be left behind
and then it's we'll be lame,
and that, oh man I'm gonna regret this
if I don't say yes to everything.
Fear of missing out is the root cause of so many
Millennials unhappiness and anxiety,
and in my opinion it's the reason why for so many
in my generation, adulthood seems to be delayed,
because we feel paralyzed.
It's like we don't wanna make decisions
because we're afraid of making the wrong one.
It's ironic because here we are being told
since the time we were kids that we've got,
you can do anything, you've got so many opportunities,
and yeah, honestly we do have more opportunities
than anyone else like in human history.
You know what I mean?
Yet here were are, worried that we're gonna make
a decision we regret.
We're afraid that if we go one way we will
have missed out on some other better thing.
So ironically we get stuck,
and then added along with that this unprecedented
window that we have into our peers lives,
which takes, you know, the natural human tendency
to compare ourselves with other people
and blows it up into this compulsive,
dangerous, demoralizing, paralyzing thing.
It truly is like the disease of our generation.
This is why we need a dose of Social Minimalism.
Please subscribe to this channel so you don't miss
the rest of this series.
The next video is gonna be about Social Minimalism,
what it is, as well as the other Millennial malady
of notification fatigue.
Man don't I have that?
Of course if you're watching this in the future
and those videos are already done
you can watch it right here.
If not, watch another video of mine.
Also I'd like to recommend to you my video,
Why I'm not on social media.
Check it out!
Thanks so much for watching!
I've been your YouTube Sherpa F.J.
'til next time, stay cool and attractive.
(calming music)