Do you happen to have a third wheel in your relationship? Someone or something that shouldn't
be there that's really holding your relationship back? You're probably wondering, "What in
the world is she talking about?" But I wanted to do something different. And I want to continue
doing things differently on our YouTube channel and in our educational resources for couples
because it's really important at the end of the day that everything our firm does
helps you with your relationship. Because at the end of the day that is what matters the most.
I want to talk with all of you about a third wheel phenomenon that I see with couples going through
the immigration process. For those of you who are new to our YouTube channel and new to our firm,
I'm Attorney Megan Pastrana of the immigration firm for couples. My firm is dedicated exclusively
to helping couples navigate the immigration process. We help couples across the nation
and across the world with navigating US immigration. And as I mentioned, your relationship
at the end of the day, that is the most important thing. And that is the most important
thing to us as well. We absolutely love love here at our firm. We love being able to dedicate our
lives to helping couples. And we are here to help you navigate the paperwork. One of our mottos
is, "Focus on your relationship, not on the paperwork." Because it is. It's so true. We'll take care of the
paperwork, you both focus on you, because that is what is important. I wanted to talk
with all of you about this third wheel phenomenon that I see, having helped thousands of couples in
navigating the immigration process and also having gone through the process myself with my husband.
I typically don't like to talk about my personal life but I am doing that more
because I know that that can benefit all of you to know that somebody else who understands what you
have been through. Somebody else has been through what you're going through and understands.
What my husband and I found in going through our immigration journey and what
I have found with working with thousands of couples in navigating the immigration process
is that the third wheel is your immigration case. I just see it all the time that couples are
so obsessed and so focused with the immigration case. Rightfully so. You want to get through the
process successfully, you want to put immigration behind you and you want to focus on your future.
I want to give you a few tips so that the immigration case isn't the third wheel in
your relationship. I am not a relationship expert, I'm just an immigration attorney
and I'm someone who has gone through the process. I have these amazing friends, Marla
and Julian, who are relationship experts and I love talking with them. They always talk about
how it's so important for you to both constantly have open communication, focus on your relationship
and go through challenges together. And you are. You're going through this really challenging
thing, this immigration case. And so, while I'm not a relationship expert, I have
tips that I would like to share with you based on personal experience and based on my experience of
helping couples navigate the immigration process. I have a few tips and the very first one
is to make a conscious choice to not let your immigration case be a third wheel.
I know you're thinking, "That's easier said than done. What do you mean, just make a conscious
choice?" Just as simple as that. In life, we have this amazing power to choose. To choose
how we feel, to choose how we experience life. While we could feel angry or sad or happy in any
given moment, we can be conscious of what it is that's triggering us to feel a certain way
and decide I don't want to feel that way. You can make a conscious choice to not let
your immigration case be your third wheel. To not take over your life and your relationship.
My second tip would be to hold each other accountable. This is something that my
husband and I did when we realized, "This is so stressful." It's so hard not to always be
talking about it and always be thinking about it. But we made a conscious choice that what was most
important, yes, getting through the immigration case but on having a really healthy amazing
relationship that flourished outside of the immigration process. My second pointer is
hold each other accountable. When you feel yourself, you're
having dinner or you're enjoying life together and when one of you decides to bring up the
immigration case, you hold each other accountable and you say, "No, we're not talking about that.
We are not talking about the immigration case. We are enjoying each other's time and company and
we're going to have other life experiences outside of this immigration case." Immigration cases often
can take many months, if not many years and it's so important that you focus on your relationship.
Hold each other accountable to focusing on your relationship so when you get through the process,
you have an identity, individually but together as a couple that isn't totally revolving around
that immigration case. I know that seems easier said than done but
those are the two main tips that I have.
And then, the other tips. I have two other tips is to focus on your future. It kind
of goes with those first two. But focus on your future. Talk about the future.
Where do you want to live? What do you want to do? What career goals do you both have?
Where do you want to travel? Just anything about the future. Focus on that. Think about
that future when you have successfully navigated the immigration process. Focus your efforts on that.
The last tip I have is, like I said, I'm not a relationship expert and so, if you
have to get help from a relationship expert or maybe self-help books about relationships,
continually try to educate yourself and give you both the resources that you need to be able to
navigate that stressful immigration process to put your relationship first. I really hope
that this video is helpful to you. I know that it's hard going through the immigration process if
you're in the thick of it, if you're in the middle of it. Some of these things you might
hear might be triggering but I really hope you take it to heart and put your relationship
first because at the end of the day, that's what's most important.
I'm going to continue making more videos like this because I really want to make sure that you
all have resources and information to know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel but
to remember to put your relationship first. Thanks so much for watching. If you like this video, please
give it a thumbs up and subscribe to our channel if you'd like to learn more about the immigration
process and also tips and tricks to make sure your relationship thrives. Thanks so much for watching!