Jaakko is there ever a good time to use an ultimatum mm-hmm
that's a great question and I think the answers actually I think what everyone
thinks about the answer I think it's pretty self-evident and I think a lot of
people will agree with it okay so is there ever a good time to use an
ultimatum I think sometimes there is but it's seldom it's actually very seldom
but when enough is truly enough then you got to draw the line and you got to hold
the line right so you got to make an old
ultimatum one thing that is extremely credible is that you should never make
an ultimatum that you won't or can't keep yeah right laughs yeah don't Bluff
yeah if you say it do it yeah and what's interesting from a job perspective so
like in the workplace perspective let's say up the chain of command up the chain
of command it's not good right so so let's say you're my boss and I coming
into Echo I want to raise I want to buy this Friday or I'm out of here right
that's an ultimatum and that means I'm trying to hold you hostage most people
do not like being held hostage so my chances of actually supporting what
you're trying to make happen are very small because I'm actually mad at you
yeah I don't want to support you oh you're a big critical guy because you
press record and you made some videos for me you know I mean like it's like
that yeah but you're throwing an ultimatum at me yeah well that's where
were happy we couldn't have a conversation we couldn't come to an
agreement so you're gonna walk in to me I'm the boss I just reversed roles walk
into me I'm the boss you're gonna say Jaakko I wanna raise and I want it now
or I am out of here on Friday that's my ultimatum mm-hmm what what are you doing
are you building a relationship with me no are you giving any room to negotiate
or Lanoue are you giving yourself any room to maneuver no you're not you're
not giving yourself any room to maneuver so that one generally doesn't work very
now now if you have another job offer that someone's put in front of you
that's legit and it's good and it's solid and you
come in to me and say hey Jocko I got another job offer they want an answer by
Friday here's what they're gonna pay me I'm not this isn't a threat I'm not
trying to be a jerk I'm being straight up with you but if you don't give me
what I want by Friday I'm gonna have to leave and go cuz I gotta i can improve
my future yeah and I'd say hey man that sounds like a great deal working for
them go right but that so that's that's an ultimatum but it's a rational one
right and because you actually have a backup and you actually are trying to be
straightforward with me yeah so so that's an ultimatum but it's it's like a
logical one now down the chain of command
people don't like ultimatums either for instance you know echo if you don't have
this project done by Friday you're fired so now I put a big old
tomato on you and you don't like that any more than the Boston people don't
like having ultimatums put on so what really do if you have to use ultimatums
down the chain of command and you should check your leadership real real quick
because you've made some mistakes right people don't understand the deadlines
people don't understand what it is you want them to do people don't understand
why they're doing what they're doing there's all kinds of things that they
don't understand if you have to start throwing ultimatums around as a boss so
really if you find yourself using ultimatums then you you need to check
your leadership now that being said if you if I've talked to you if I've
coached you if I've counseled you if I've done a written statement on you and
told you exactly what it is that I need Eko to do and now we've we passed the
point of no return I go OK Eko here's what I asked you to do you didn't do it
this is the ultimatum if you don't start making three videos a week you are not
gonna be here anymore mmm and you'd say you'd either say okay well I'm gonna do
it or screw Jocko he's a jerk I'm out of here either way I've moved forward
because you weren't doing it before and that's sort I know that that example
was yeah kind of it hits close to home so ultimatums be very very careful make
sure if you're gonna use it it's got to be real you've got to enforce it and
check yourself don't don't don't get yourself in a position where you can't
maneuver anymore that's the biggest that to me that's the biggest point yeah you
never want to take away your ability to move maneuver you don't want to do that
yeah make sense and it feels like you know I just how you kind of said it to
me well that first one where the tone has like a lot to do with it yeah like
how you were like this you know you're legitimate logical alternative right
right it seemed like it wasn't like the first one the first look you reduce or
I'm out of here kind of thing and then the second your second example like hey
you know what's going on yeah it feels like if someone did that to me either
way up or down I feel like you would still maintain the relationship you know
like let's say let's say it worked out and it was like okay you know whatever
you got the raise or whatever and if you sit in that crazy tone or whatever I
real fed up talking yeah you're still like okay cool we worked it out I got
what I want but like but but we know we've been thoroughly
yeah it's dinged and you don't want to be dinging or relationships we want to
be building those things yeah and I think a lot of times people like
building the relationship and then they'll just move on like nothing but
meanwhile the other person is like hey no like don't don't forget what you say
to me and how you said that last week time heals the wounds but it doesn't
remove the scars yeah yeah slap shot