Last night was the season finale of The Masked Singer.
And what a finale it was.
There were masks and singers and people
trying to guess who they were.
And it all came down to the Bee, the Monster, and the Peacock.
And that's either a photo from the show or a nightmare I had.
But even though The Masked Singer is over for now,
that doesn't mean we have to stop playing
my own version of the game.
Because number one, I love it.
Number two, we haven't been sued yet.
So it's time for another edition of "The Masked Dancer."
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHEERING]
Oh, hi, tWitch.
How are you?
Oh hello, Ellen.
All right.
Well here's how this works.
All right.
There's a celebrity backstage in a costume.
We have no idea who it is.
The celebrity is going to come out here and dance for us,
and then we will ask the masked dancer some questions
and try to guess who it is.
And we'll keep guessing until we get it right
or until they hyperventilate in their costume, whichever
comes first.
The dancer gave us a few clues to help us out,
and here they are.
The name starts and ends with a letter in the alphabet.
OK.
I own a pair of flip-flops.
When I was a baby, I had really short hair.
Wow.
So that really narrows it down.
I thin, already--
Do you know who it is?
--already I kind of think-- yeah.
Yeah.
For sure.
All right, let's see the masked dancer.
[MUSIC - JASON DERULO, "TALK DIRTY"]
(SINGING) Talk dirty to me.
You know the words to my songs.
No habla ingles.
Our conversations ain't long, but you know what is.
I know what the girl them want, London to Taiwan.
I got lipstick stamps on my passport--
I think I need a new one.
Been around the world, don't speak the language.
But your booty don't need explaining.
--I was gonna say Dax Shepard, but his legs are too thick--
Me too, yeah.
[INAUDIBLE] that too.
(SINGING) Talk dirty to me.
Talk dirty to me.
What do you think?
He's really tall.
(SINGING) Talk dirty to me.
Really tall.
Has rhythm.
(SINGING) Talk dirty to me.
Not really limber, but has rhythm though.
[APPLAUSE]
OK.
All right.
OK.
Yep.
All right.
Well let's see-- that was wonderful.
Thank you so much.
That was wonderful.
We've both decided you're tall.
So-- OK.
Is that hot in there?
(DISTORTED VOICE) Very.
OK.
All right.
Do you dance often?
Yes.
You do?
Yes.
You dance a lot?
OK.
All right.
Where's your tickle spot?
I'm not ticklish.
Who's your celebrity crush?
Jennifer Aniston.
Mm.
What's your favorite pickup line?
I have a lot of pickup lines.
OK, it's not Dax Shepard.
No.
Have you been on this show before?
Yes.
How many times?
This is my third.
It's your third?
Third time.
God.
Well, I understand it's hot.
We're trying to get there.
Do you work in TV or film?
TV.
Are you married to--
are you married?
That's a spoiler.
If you're married, it's a spoiler?
So he's married.
Does your--
But that doesn't really spoil it.
There are a lot of married people.
Yeah.
Does your significant other work in television as well?
OK.
All right.
Let's guess.
Who do you think it is?
Uhh--
He's very hot.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I'm gonna go with Ashton Kutcher.
Maybe not tall enough.
I don't know though.
And I also think he's been on a lot more than three times.
So it's not Ashton.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I think he could be lying-- are you lying that you've
been on three times?
Have you been on more?
This is my third.
OK.
All right.
This--
Your third.
Well, I'm going to guess Jim Parsons.
I think I'm wrong, but I'm going to guess Jim Parsons.
All right, let's see it.
Take off your hot mask.
[DRUMROLL]
Oh my god!
[MUSIC - JASON DERULO, "TALK DIRTY"]
[CHEERING]
That's a lot harder than it looks.
Colton!
I know!
I know.
Man.
All right.
Oh my god.
Oh my god, Colton, it's good to see you!
It's good to see you guys!
[CHEERING]
That makes sense now-- are you married?
Spoiler.
It's a spoiler.
That's right--
Got you.
I tried!
Darn it!
I tried to give you guys something.
Yes!
When he said it's a spoiler if he's married, that's why.
That's why.
Got it, yeah.
So tell us now, are you married?
I'm happy.
All right.
I can't wait to see next week.
I can't either.
All right.
It's a good one.
All right.
I can't wait.
Good to see you.
I want to ask you so many questions, but I have to go.
Thanks Colton!
See you.
[MUSIC - JASON DERULO, "TALK DIRTY"]
Ah!
It's his third time.
All right.
You can see Colton on The Bachelor, Mondays
at 8:00 on ABC.
I love him so much, and I want to ask him more questions.
And he had to go away, so--
because, you know, things are happening.
I know you don't watch, and you don't know.
But things are happening right now with him.
Things are happening?
OK.
Yeah.