it's gonna take you back to the past to
play the shitty games that suck ass he'd
rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea
dump in his ear he buddy Brian [ __ ]
Rocio skunk and down it with beer he's
the angriest gamer you've ever seen
angry Nintendo nerd
I love the power glove it's so bad and I
mean bad this thing is bad why need a
glove to play a game what's wrong with
this huh I don't know I thought this was
okay playing it you know with the
controller so if anything the power
glove it's an interesting experiment in
gaming technology but too bad they were
just [ __ ] jerking off like why is it
suck so bad well I have one complaint
one [ __ ] complaint about this glove
it doesn't work now what's the most
important aspect about any game well
being able to [ __ ] play it now before
you can even begin to get this [ __ ]
piece of [ __ ] to work you have to put
these three sensors on your TV like this
[ __ ] now if you own the power glove
you're going to need to know what the
program codes are yes that's right you
have to put in a different code for each
game that you play so go on the internet
get a whole bunch of [ __ ] codes for
all the [ __ ] games and whenever
you're playing a [ __ ] game
you got a punching the code
all right super glove ball well the game
is basically you're just this glove and
you're going around grabbing balls grab
the flying fish grab them grab them I
don't get it
that's it I can't [ __ ] take any more
I'm sorry I'm gonna show you different
games on the power glove
to shoot I just squeeze my fingers
damn
[ __ ] go up go up go up I can't get the
[ __ ] up there
goddamnit
it's easier to do a handstand while
taking a [ __ ] how do I attack Oh somehow
I kicked but I don't really know how I
did it I'm getting my ass kicked
oh damn come on get him get him punch
him
oh [ __ ] I can't pass the first screen in
Double Dragon damn it just might as well
just use the [ __ ] controller what's
the point of this Castlevania twitching
my finger like this I swing the whip
come on oh yeah there we go
how do I jump I have a [ __ ] do I jump at
it
squeezing is that jump they got the
stairs and get up the [ __ ] stairs
[ __ ] how do I get up the [ __ ] stairs
oh just jump can I do a nice jump over
this come on do it jump yeah there we go
we jumped it's awesome it's really
exciting when you actually get something
to work on go down there we go no don't
go that where you go this way and
[ __ ] come on
I'll go down don't go off the steps go
down the steps don't go up the steps go
down don't go up the [ __ ] steps go
down you have a [ __ ] life going up
there again
come on oh Jesus jumping all over the
place I didn't even know you could jump
backwards come on you're [ __ ] Fishman
oh good luck I'm gonna fall in the water
and die [ __ ] wow this sucks this sucks
hard
come on now jump jump jump jump
oh oh well I helped okay keep going haha
[ __ ]
Castlevania to Simon's quest there's
only one way to do this game with the
power glove so while it's not very
responsive I can go up and I can go down
and left and right what everything else
like the punching and kicking just seems
to come at random trying to pop the
bubbles good luck sucks monkey [ __ ]
sucks monkey [ __ ] now go down come on
down down go the [ __ ] down down go down
let's go back come on go back go left go
left I can't shoot anybody over there go
back go up oh oh Jesus come okay oh [ __ ]
oh damn it to [ __ ] a doodle [ __ ] this
battle will make your blood boil
good luck good luck is right I'm using
the [ __ ] power glove
I can't even line myself up to shoot
this [ __ ] tank up here go up shoot
the tank damn it
shoot the tank shoot the tank I think I
got it oh I can't get around the rock
god damn it move up left left left left
you can go left up left up I can't even
get around the trees oh yeah there we go
there we go oh yeah we're moving on
we're moving on okay
oh god oh [ __ ]
for the big problems is that I can't
either stop jumping or stop ducking
all right well do I want to really
bother talk to him yeah not real
no I don't come on I really I was I'm
serious I don't want to talk to you go
leave the leave the [ __ ] cabin or
house or whatever the [ __ ] it is
come on keep walking well there we go I
don't really mean to go in there part
leave I leave the house go left go left
come on go left y'all you I'm in the
house again I don't want [ __ ] get the
[ __ ] out of the house get up go away
right left very calm Jesus Christ why am
i shooting the sword
all right here we go we got this man we
got this by the ass
you know it's really cool about rad
racer if you push select the game goes
3d
I'm playing rad racer with the power
glove and 3d glasses you can't get any
more rad than that Wow
playing top gun with the power glove
it's like puking on a pile of [ __ ] oh my
god what the [ __ ] am i doing I'm trying
to land the plane in Top Gun with the
power glove I can't even land it with
the regular controller
oh cool
punch ow all right well I don't know how
to [ __ ] dodge that's really a problem
punching seems to work somewhat
Oh
I lost a glass Joe I lost two glass Joe
try doing the contra code with this
[ __ ] thing
I shoot by twitch in my finger
jump by clenching my fist
yeah there we go there we go all right
come on now oh god get him get him off
[ __ ] you piece of [ __ ]
if you want to bring a totally new
element of challenge to your Nintendo
games try the power glove because it
sure makes everything a lot harder it's
just a barely functional contraption
designed to rip off little kids
it's the biggest scam since the Atari
5200 controller the only kids who own
this we're usually the richer ones who
thought they were cool well they're not
cool I'm not cool either look at me you
think I'm cool I got a [ __ ] glove on
my hand I'm trying to play a [ __ ]
game with it I look like an idiot with a
fistful of [ __ ] well hey let's end with
the classic Super Mario Brothers all
right you are you don't have to keep
jumping Lisa made over the Goomba you
were walking you're [ __ ] all right
what I can't get up on the fight I'm not
even doing anything I'm touching the
[ __ ] floor right now I am touching
the floor and I can't get him to stop
jumping get over the pike you [ __ ]
[ __ ]
oh I can't get over the pipe oh oh yeah
oh come on come on yeah
oh no don't come on oh [ __ ] Oh
now you're playing with power now you're
playing with [ __ ] [ __ ]
you're better off [ __ ] [ __ ] than
[ __ ] with this [ __ ] up [ __ ] [ __ ]
this [ __ ] you don't know [ __ ] about how
[ __ ] shitty this [ __ ] [ __ ] is it's
so bad it sucks
it's so [ __ ] suck it [ __ ] and I
can't take any more
you