Hey you! My name is Thomas 'TomSka' Ridgewell and welcome back to CONTENT! Now its been
said that I am an expert on many many things, ranging frommm sexual education toooo weight loss
and i thought that today I would grace you once again with some more of my immeasurable
wisdom by helping you to solve your problems. Today I am going to be your agony aunt. I
am in agony and... I'm an alcoholic? Aunts are alcoholics right?
''mine is'' yours is? good. So I hopped onto Reddit and
Twitter and asked you to send me your problems and I'm going to help you solve them today.
And if you take ANY of the advice I'm about to give you, you're a fucking idiot who deserves
whatever's coming to them. How do I hide that I'm fat? Whenever you walk
into a room or a public area just point away from you and scream ''WHATS THAT OVER THERE''
and then everyone will look and they won't notice that you're a fat piece of shit.
My fursuit arrived late and I have fears that I won't be accepted as a true furry what can
I do to prevent this from happening? Just fuck a dog! Fuck a dog in front of them! They
can't argue with you after that! They'll be like 'yep you're definitely a furry!' going
round fucking dogs ''you're right you can't argue with that''
you can't... can't argue with a dog fucker... they'll just fuck your dog
How to tell parents I'm gay, tell them you're gay, but do it on OPPOSITE day and that way
if they're unhappy with it, THEY'RE gay. pppffffffhehehehehehehe How do I stop stupid people from blocking
my uni department and preventing me from going to class? [gun cocks]
Should I send nudes? Only if you want me to send you some back!
you don't. you don't want that. None of my friends watch Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.
how do I convince them? JUST FUCKING DONT! Don't do that! Don't make them watch that show.
Please. I can't afford to buy a house. What should
I do? Steal one! I think my girlfriend wants to break up with
me but whenever I ask she says she's really happy. What you should do is... never address
this! Don't bring it up, just let it fester! My toast is stuck in the toaster, how do I
get it out? What you wanna do is plug the toaster in, fill up the bathtub, get in the
bath, take the toaster, put the toaster in the bath and eventually, the toast will become
soggy and come out on its own. And then you can have a nice toasty bath.
I'm on the verge of failing school this year and possibly not graduating. THAT SOUNDS LIKE
A YOU PROBLEM! 'They're asking you!' Everyone thinks I'm gay! (I'm not!) and i
can't get them to stop. Fuck a dog in front of em! But make sure it's not a dog the same
sex as you, because then y-you would be gay. pffttt. 'Why are you doing this?'
I'm helping them solve their problems. 'You're NOT!' YES I AM! As a social media influencer i am using
my power for good, GOOD CONTENT! I'm failing everything in class, what should
i do? Become a youtuber! t h a t s t h e j o k e !
I couldn't decide whether to have soup or salad. I chose soup, but the decision has
haunted me for years. What do? f a m. Soup is just blended salad, stop being a little
fuckboy, G O D. I haven't seen 17 Again because I'm terrified
I won't like it. What should I do? Watch 18 again instead! It's a much better film.
Is it gay to suck your own dick? Fellas, its gay to even have a dick
How do I tell my crush I like him? Eddsworld characters aren't real, so that's never gonna
work out. Sorry... I'm a 25 year old virgin. How do I get laid?
WELL I GOT THIS DOG FOR YOU HERE, you can fuck him if you want! Fuck dogs.
I'm gonna put him down. I'm sorry squidge. 'Woah that's a bit excessive'
Why don't my parents love me anymore? Because they're ashamed of you! You never achieved
anything. I can't avoid getting too nervous when talking
to a cute-looking girl. Gouge your eyes out! Then you won't know which girls are cute!
or girls! or dogs... I didn't go into this expecting 'fuck a dog'
to become the running joke... I feel depressed! Unloved! Emotionless, and
desperate! COOL! How do i tell my parents I'm racist? In blackface!
Guys... I'm racist. YEAH, YEAH DEREK.
Dick is too big, GET A BIGGER DOG! pppppffffftttttgoddamNIT
How do I stop being Australian? You either need to appeal, or finish your sentence and
then they let you come home to England. Because Australia is a prison. is. the joke.
How do I get my best friend to hang out with me? Put out more!
How can I stop wanting to use social media? Say something controversial like 'Nazis are
bad' and believe me, you won't wanna use it anymore!
Where's the best place to hide a body? In your tum tum!
What do I do if I like someone and they don't like me back? [gun cocks]
How do you get a life? YOU TAKE ONE. [gun cocks]
What's the best way to go to sleep? You pretend you're asleep until you are! [gun co-] no
actually that is good advice that is kinda how sleeping works.
How do I get top grades in psychology? When your teacher tells you you're failing the
class, ask them ''how does that make you feel?'' It's snowing in April. What do i do? Use more
fossil fuels and burn your plastic! That'll heat things up, I'm a science-tist. Fuck the planet.
How do I, a University of Lincoln Student. get
someone to take me seriouslyppfffff ahh I couldn't finish that one.
I've got two essays to finish for tomorrow, but i finish high school in a week and a half.
what should I do? Pay someone else to write your essays for you! That's what I did, multiple
times. You can't take back my diploma now, fuckers!
HAHAAA
Why is my friend more romantic to me than my actual boyfriend? I'm sure there's ABSOLUTELY
NO REASON! DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! I can't come up with something witty to say
here. What should I do? Waste my FUCKING time apparently!
How do I stop feeling bad about my drawings? Give up on your dreams! EUUHHHGG
Why do I feel like I should drink bleach? Because it'll quench your thirst for the rest
of your life! How do I get my baby to sleep at night?
(smooch)
goodnight!
I struggle with self esteem issues yet I want
a relationship. Blame the opposite sex! Write blog posts about it. J O I N I N C E L S.
I hate my life, what can I do about it? [gun cocks]
How do I make friends? Travel back to 1993, kill David Crane and Marta Kauffmann and then
pitch the show yourself! This is a F.R.I.E.N.D.S joke, it's way more elaborate than necessary.
I don't know what I'm doing. [The F.R.I.E.N.D.S clap]
How do I stop being depressed?
cheer up! BLAGHH HGHMM BLEUGH
WELL THAT WAS SOME LIFE ADVICE! If you followed any of it, you're probably dead or in jail
now. Don't actually fuck dogs! The question of this week is 'If you could
fuck a dog what dog wou-' pfftttt 'who gave dogs the right to be so s e x y'
I have to go now. byyyyyyeeeeee.
[glass smashing] OH THAT BROKE IT HAhAHAHAHA
Hey you quick extra note I'm gonna be at MCM comicon at the end of this month here in London!
I'm in London right now... you're not. Although you could be at the end of this month at MCM
comicon. I'll leave all the information in the description below, but i'm gonna be there
i'm gonna be meeting people, doin the photo thing doin the hug thing, I'm gonna be getting
up on stage playing videos and doing some script readthroughs, uh I'm gonna be selling
some new merch like beep beep I'm a sheep plushies, they talk! It's gonna be awesome.
will they arrive in time? Let's find out together! YAAAAAAY see you there maybe!