This video is about = "When You Try Forcing Things!" I'm going to explain what happens when you try
really hard forcing things in your life... To find out more please stay tuned to this video...
Welcome to The SCG Show! please hit the like button for the YouTube algorithm
and turn your life around with BetterHelp! The link is in the description just down below...
Recently I was talking to a dear friend of mine about when people (myself included) try forcing
outcomes and situations. Here is what he concluded, he said "in a nutshell if we force a situation
we mess with the outcomes! Are they complying because they are afraid of criticism or because
they genuinely want to do a thing? Does their back come up because of our controlling, ultimately
we don't know.... if we don't force a situation people who are good will show their true colors willingly
and people who are not interested or have bad behaviors will show them too. This way by not
controlling the situation we see who's right for us, who's not and then we can trust our judgment..."
Forcing anything from a romantic relationship, a friendship, family to get along with each other
(despite the fact they actually hate each other) or even a failing business to succeed is an
absolutely interesting topic! I will call these people who do this typically as "forcers" for the
sake of this video. You could argue that people who are forcers are possibly control freaks too
right under the surface and a control freak is someone who's got this obsession of getting
everything done in a perfect or certain way...
A control freak can become distressed when someone causes a deviation in the way that they prefer to
do things... there's always an underlying theory that I have recently concluded about control freaks
and that is that they operate out of a sense of fear! They force love with someone because they
fear being single and alone... they force a failing business to succeed because they're so terrified
of losing money and having that sort of image of being a failure... they've forced friendships with
the wrong people because they again fear being alone or being ostracized or being perceived again
as a loser ....assuming the control freak is a healthy person and not a toxic one too
Trusting the process and going with the flow are very hippie terms but actually very very important
when we actually want to attract better results in our lives... let's continue...
Don't forget to Subscribe and also hit the bell notification so you never miss any of my videos...
Let's talk about forcing goals and look let's be honest everyone wants to succeed in life and have
big life-changing goals, otherwise what's the point in having them in the first place? For me goals are
associated with purpose - for example let's say I have the goal to be financially independent
like be my own boss, with my own business, work my own hours, do what I want travel the world whatever...
make my own money... So to achieve such a goal I'll have to do the following things = for example I'd
have to maybe start my own businesses or I'd have to invest my own money or I can partner
with someone, start a YouTube channel whatever! I take the risk... do the work... lay the foundations
and with that I go full steam ahead into this goal! There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, people
have gone on to achieve unbelievable things and incredible accomplishments, they have proved doubters
wrong and succeeded despite unimaginable odds and circumstances... but here is the problem...
just because we have goals it doesn't mean we're owed anything! Just because for example I wanted to
be rich it doesn't mean I'm owed money... just because someone wants to be famous does not
mean they are owed fame.... life can be cruel like that and the universe owes us nothing! Where am
I going with this? In my early twenties I had the goal to become a famous singer (believe it or not)
I worked hard to achieve that goal, spent a lot of time, energy, money trying to get signed by a label...
I forced it so hard but it wasn't meant to be...I tried everything I could but despite even knocking
some doors down still it was not my destiny to do so.... you cannot force the destiny you think you
need nor your purpose and in all honesty I wanted to be a singer and to be famous to impress a girl...
Instead it happens naturally and right now I'm happily at peace pursuing new goals and dreams
and success that have come easier as a result... because guess what? I am no longer forcing it!
Of course work on your goals... work to strive to hit a purpose and so on... but just don't force it so hard ...
Are you a perfectionist? Do you fear failure? Do you constantly force things?
Let me tell you about my official sponsor BetterHelp! I've personally used BetterHelp
and found it very effective for trusting the process and turning my life around!
It's an online portal that provides direct to consumer access to behavioral health services
The online counseling and therapy services are all provided through
web-based interaction such as phone and text communication, you can use BetterHelp on the go!
You get four live sessions a month with unlimited messaging between sessions as well as access to
group therapy webinars which are updated each and every single week! When you sign up to BetterHelp
you'll get full access to the counseling service and you'll be supporting my channel
and I'll give you 10% off your first month too! So stop forcing things! Stop being a perfectionist!
Turn your life around with BetterHelp! The link is in the description just down below!
Let's talk about love = allow me to be crude for just one moment, there's a hilarious quote I once
heard "love is like a fart, if you force it it's probably s**t!" I don't know who came up with it
but it really does ring true for me. How often do we force love or force attraction or force
relationships or force moving in together or force desperately trying to like someone who we know is
not right for us or force having things in common or force marrying that person... force having a
huge mortgage on a house with this person or force having a family, kids, adopting a dog etc?
My conclusion = all the time! I've been there almost done that got the T-Shirt
but with a toxic partner...Not long ago I was in a toxic relationship with a narcissist
From the beginning I knew something was off but like a naive, desperate fool
I persisted! I stuck with her despite the red flags...despite the arguments... there were many
many warning signs and my instincts saying "go the other way!" and I wasted precious years of my life
with the wrong person because like I always say = "you'll never be good enough for the wrong person!"
Love should be natural.... typically people with low self-esteem or attachment issues often attract the
wrong type of person romantically, and they force that love to happen... but real genuine desire can't
be forced.... real chemistry cannot... true attraction not just looks attraction like personality
and charm etc cannot be forced... and of course true genuine romantic love cannot be forced and as
funny as that silly quote is, the more you force it the worse it is aka the more fake and unnatural it
is on the surface... it might look natural.... it might look like you're in love but really you're forcing
something again (to be crude) that's probably s**t! Anyway who wants fake love, seriously?
If you're enjoying this video please hit the like button for the YouTube algorithm and support
my channel by becoming an official member! The link for channel memberships is just down below!
Let's talk about forcing people = forcing other people from family, friends, associates, colleagues
neighbors to bend to your whim, meet your needs that's unnatural, and in my opinion a waste of time!
Especially if these people are useless, toxic, selfish, immature etc...I learned this the hard way
it was March 2020.... the UK was in a lockdown as the pandemic swept the earth... my Dad who was
only 62 at the time got violently ill... he was sent to hospital where he got worse and worse
then a month later he passed away tragically... shocking everyone in the process...
At that time I was at my family home with my younger brother and mother...
There we were in a lockdown, nowhere to go, noone to see and losing an immediate member of the family
It will forever break my heart what happened to my Dad (RIP). Whilst we isolated of
course were pretty much alone grieving, people's true colors came out... Those who were family but
by title alone aka those despite being blood related not being supportive at all and those
who were friends but again by title alone were close to Dad when he was alive but distant the
moment he died...They often say "when you lose someone, you know who's truly there for you and
that sage advice could not be more accurate!" Here's the cold hard truth = not everyone is understanding
compassionate, definitely not empathetic! Most people do not care, most people don't want to help,
most people do not have their best interest at heart for you, and so on...It is therefore
unrealistic to expect people to be there for you when they truly and honestly don't want to be
or don't have the emotional intelligence....maturity to instead become your own best friend, the hero of
your own story! You only need a handful of people in your life to make it through in this difficult
time or any time whatsoever... That way also if you're your own best friend and you've got your
small circle you'll be far less disappointed and have less expectations and you won't force people
anymore... Finally let's talk about patience = just recently I completed on a new property
that took over one year to purchase! Which was frustrating and stressful
It was really touch and go, I genuinely had no idea if I was going to lose this home or not
Throughout the buying process I was told by close people the following "if it's truly meant to be
you'll get that home, so don't worry about it!" I at first found that quite condescending but then over
time and gradually I started to agree with them... Of course I wanted that home badly it was my dream
home... everything felt right and good about it and when I finally completed and picked up the keys
I had to pinch myself several times to realize that that desire finally came true! When I was
agitated, stressed, frustrated and worried about the home falling through for almost an entire
year the worst happened! My mind catastrophized about it all going wrong... the chain collapsing
and so on... but once I learned to let it go and make peace with whatever happened... within seven
days I exchanged and I completed! I am dreadfully impatient... this is a quality I am not proud of
but whenever I practice it amazing things seem to happen... opportunities present themselves... people are
more attracted to me... deals happen... doors open... life is less stressful and chaotic things seem
way more manageable! It is almost unbelievable and I'm not exaggerating here how things happen more
smoothly and effectively when I'm not aggressively or stressfully forcing them! In fact more has
happened for the better by not forcing them at all! Try and practice the art of patience and
what will be will be and what is meant to happen will happen... whether it's with people... love... goals
opportunity... of course put yourself out there still, do the work, but just don't force it that's hard...