Here today, gone tomorrow. This is the fate of new product launches from the top fast
food companies that didn't meet with the public's approval even after millions of dollars spent
in advertising. But although some of these bold culinary inventions attain mythical following
among the globe's masses, somehow, they still manage to become epic failures. So here, at
last, are your top 10 fast food failures of all time.
Krispy Kreme Fails in Canada
Snow or no snow, the Canadian market is definitely Krispy Kreme's Achilles heel. That old fashioned,
crispy, and heavenly sweet doughnut that literally melts in your mouth definitely caught fire
everywhere it went. Unfortunately, not in Canada, and to be specific about it, not in
the province of Ontario. Here, Krispy Kreme was confident to open up stores way back in
2001 but it was confronted with a young population waking up to the dangers posed by having too
much sugar in the diet. The stores quickly closed shop and sent Krispy Kreme crews packing
their bags. By January 2005 according to CBC News, six of 18 Krispy Kreme stores had
closed due to sagging demand. Of course, Canadian sweet tooth loyalists continue to play hardball.
After all, many Canadians have been used to the Tim Hortons coffee double-double and
the sinful doughnuts as well. However, all things considered, it was a losing battle.
On April 15, 2005, Kremeko Inc., the company that brought the American legend north of
the border had filed for bankruptcy protection. And it was a point of no return from there.
The overall fascination for Krispy Kreme, however, would prove to be short-lived if
not non-existent. The hard lesson is definitely a sobering message for America's legendary
fast food companies. As Sears, one of America’s dominant fashion retailers, and Target have
learned, Canadian markets are a totally different animal.
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McLobster Roll & Other McDonald's Fast Food Sins
For those of you who were born yesterday, you'd think that McLobster, McSpaghetti, McPizza,
McHotDog, Arch Deluxe Burger, Mighty Wings, McLean Deluxe, McDonald's Fajitas or even
for that matter, the McDLT are nothing but urban legends. In truth, however, all these
fast food inventions were once served on the dining tables or off the drive-throughs
of the biggest fast food chain of America. Yep, even McDonald's can fail, and can do
so in epic fashion. No one is exempt from the failure syndrome and definitely not even
if you spent close to a billion US dollars in market research or advertising. Consumer
behavior is simply too hard to predict even with the most sophisticated or the most modern
market barometers. So are you looking right now, with your eyes wide open, at the sheer
number of Mickey D's epic fails? Don't blame the big yellow arch. Rather, praise it for
the company's bravery and tenacity against all odds. Not everything is a fail, though,
as far as McLobster is concerned. For instance, there are isolated reports that in Halifax, the
lobster town of the Canadian Maritimes province, McLobster is still served during summer. This
is understandable since seafood is one of the city's top exports. So it's only fitting
for a sandwich overflowing with lobster chops to be offered whenever possible. Unfortunately,
according to discriminating Halifax lobster eaters, they'd rather stay away from the McLobster
because there's no real lobster in there.
McDonald's Hula Burger & McSalad Shakers
The McDonald's Hula Burger of the 1960s was an honest to goodness burger with nary a patty
but a generous slice of pineapple instead. And according to some, this fast food concoction
was actually a big hit during Holy Week or for seniors on a restricted diet. But the
real controversy is whether or not the Hula Burger was really all fruit and no hamburger
patty. It was introduced by Ray Croc to McDonald's in the 1960s to American Catholics practicing
Good Friday meat abstinence. And yet we'd seen some pictures of the burger sporting
some beef patty at times. So the Hula Burger really isn't as innocent as it seems. Introducing
healthier meal alternatives for a fast food behemoth isn't just hypocrisy. It's a matter
of survival in this day and age of rabid competition. To illustrate, had McDonald's stopped innovating,
it could have gone down by now. So thank you, Mickey D's, for bringing McSalad Shakers
into the world even when the idea became unpopular. It's not rocket science to understand the wisdom
of putting salad in transparent plastic cups. That makes it easy to add the sauce or sauces
and to shake that salad, of course. But somehow, the concept just didn't really take off. Still,
thanks to the inventor for trying. Salads are definitely still hot, these days, if not
getting hotter. Companies like Mad Radish and Sweetgreen are just getting started with
a salad craze epidemic. So you can't really count McDonald's out of the game just yet.
McSpaghetti & McSupersize
For die-hard fans, the taste buds seem to be saying: It's my tongue, and I'll cry if
I want to. Despite McDonald's shelving early plans like the McSpaghetti, for instance,
some quarters of society just cannot be prevented from still craving for what they secretly
or not-so-secretly want. And so, in true Hunger Games fashion, the McSpaghetti, is still served
in the Philippines. In the land of more than 7,000 islands and around 104 million Filipinos,
the taste buds just won't be denied. And so, as of furtive 2016 sightings, the McSpaghetti
is still very much around in these parts unknown--to borrow a term from the late CNN Superstar
Anthony Bourdain. My heart also goes out to deep-fried Apple pie aficionados as it's
been replaced by the baked McDonald's apple pies, of course--and for a long time now.
However, nothing can stop you from putting the official and baked version in the deep
frying pan if you want to. The only problem is, the finished product probably won't have
that iconic, bubbly complexion that the original version sported during its heyday--just saying. And
what about McSupersize? The idea has been abandoned since that Supersize Me documentary
aired, forever putting a stop to the most convenient way to pig out when you've managed
to starve yourself for a week or when you have a construction job in the morning. Hello,
healthy eating. But sorry, sometimes, the mouth just knows what it wants.
Burger King Satisfries Are Just the Start
Burger King is the next guiltiest player in the fast food rejects arena. Just like beauty,
taste is in the taste buds of the tongue owner. So the final arbiter is still you, or what
appeals to your palate. Still, Burger King handily comes up on our list as the second
biggest home of fast food failures. Just think Burger King Satisfries, BK A.1. Halloween
Whopper, BK Dinner Baskets, BK Bacon Ice Cream Sundae, BK Shake 'Em Up Fries, BK Cini-Minis--and
you get the idea. Indeed, Burger King is almost as bodacious as the Big Yellow Arches. And
that, folks, is when it comes to churning out bold moves to galvanize the teeming masses
of hungry people around the world. Someone just needs to take the cudgels for people
with singular if not weird tastes or appetites and Burger King seems all too happy to oblige.
Taco Bell Zesty Chicken Border Bowl and More
Taco Bell is up next in the fast food rejects ladder. What's up with all these in-denial
states? Sometimes, fast food companies just try too hard at being what they're not. To
illustrate, Mickey D's tries to be health-conscious and ends up failing miserably at the task.
But just like I said earlier, you can't fault anyone for trying. And that's because you
need to keep trying in order to succeed. The Taco Bell Zesty Chicken Border Bowl was meant
for all the salad lovers out there. Unfortunately, TB missed its target with some people finding
the salad too expensive. Or maybe Taco Bell fans were really looking for the taco shell
in this one? Not finding any, it was only a matter of time before they dropped the TB
innovation like a hot potato. And what was going on with the Taco Bell Brownie Sandwich,
wasn't that an eye candy to begin with? Well, it was really sweet, what with the fudge cream
frosting center. However, before you start thinking that what brought it down was more
like the Krispy Kreme fiasco in Canada, there's a lot more to the issue than meets the eye. You
probably guessed right: it was the cost of making the product that just didn't appeal
to Taco Bell management. So out the door, TB Brownie Sandwich went.
Burger King Cupcake Sundae Shake
Taco Bell isn't alone in the dessert flops arena; Burger King has guilty pleasures, too.
Just think BK Cupcake Sundae Shake, that one fast food dessert that tries to be everything
all at once, even a drink, for that matter. Well, the fast food market doesn't roll that
way. Given, the egg nog craving has gone universal. But not even Tinkerbell can save this one.
Proof: adding whipped cream and sprinkles didn't work like fairy dust. And it doesn't
get better from here; it gets worse. Just consider Burger King's Bacon Ice Cream Sundae.
The King definitely didn't listen to the experts at Ben & Jerry's when the battle-hardened
ice scoopers there said that lacing ice cream with bacon or Buffalo chicken wings was a
really bad idea. It's like mixing an oatmeal business with dog food. The so-called halo
effect or spell is broken. In fact, it becomes irreparable from pure marketing or advertising
point of view. The Burger King Cini-Minis failure is a lot easier to understand. Quite
simply, Cinnabon came out and invented a better mousetrap so-to-speak.
Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino
Too colorful, too soon? It's definitely one overdressed Starbucks cool drink. However,
it's not really the overly colorful outfit that causes the trick to fail. For, as unicorn
lovers would have it, the association with the mythical and non-existent animal was unwarranted.
In fact, there are isolated reports that Katy Perry spat out her first taste of the Starbucks
Unicorn Frappuccino. Apparently, not everything that glitters is gold for Starbucks. The beloved
coffee company would have been forgiven had it not been for the reported awful taste of
the drink. If you're a Starbucks lover, you probably won't like the Unicorn Frappucino
next to your Iced Caramel Macchiato or even the Pink Drink. It earned such a bad reputation
that Starbucks management just wants to bury the memory under the sand like it never happened,
just as there are no real unicorns out there.
Wendy's Frescata and Wendy's Superbar
Wendy's, the fast food company that invented the square beef patty isn't exactly immune
to the fail syndrome either. Caught in the act of the aping Subway syndrome, Wendy's
was quick to wash its hands of any Frescata or deli sandwich look-a-likes. And not only
that, Frescatas were also time consuming to prepare. Acutely aware of how food preparation
severely affects fast food profits, the firm also had to phase out the Wendy's Superbar
concept in the same way that McDonald's had to get rid of the Supersize Menu quick. With
Wendy's Superbar around, customers spent way too much time customizing their meals. Had
this persisted for a very long time, the fast food chain would have gone broke. Luckily,
someone on the inside had the stroke of genius to turn the company around after going out
of its tried-and-tested ways for a long time. The moral of the story? Just what we have been
saying all along. Don’t try to copy your neighbors. Be original and stick to your guns.
There's a reason why so many people continue to seek out their square patties when craving
a burger.
The Great Pizza Hut Priazzo & The Natural
Caught in the act: Pizza Hut is also guilty of fast food failures. It seems that nobody's
ever immune to the disease, ever. Robert Redford be proud, there goes a pizza that's been named
after one of his movies. However, Pizza Hut's The Natural didn't really last very long.
And neither did the self-styled and deep dish pizza of the company. Rumor has it that
the beloved Pizza Hut Priazzo with its thick skin and home-made goodness took 40 minutes
or so to prepare. Consider this: how many burgers do you think McDonald's, Wendy's,
Burger King or A&W can make in 40 minutes? There lies the rub. And here's another quiz:
how many fries can the fast food companies make in 11 minutes? That's apparently the
time it took to make McPizza, Mickey D's foray into the Pizza Hut business. Luck was on Pizza
Hut's side for that one. Thank heavens! The bottom line is nobody in the fast food business
can wash their hands of fast food sins. But remaining are the unforgettable memories and
cravings in consumer minds and taste buds that will never, ever be quenched.
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