Morning.
Morning!
How are you feeling?
A bit low, but the day must go on.
I'm a little bit worried about Lauren.
She seems really sick.
Where is she?
In her room.
I am slain!
Where am I?
Oh, how?
How can I go on in this condi-
She's fine.
Are you sure?
Yep.
Okay.
Well,
Would you like some breakfast?
Nup.
Just black coffee then?
Yep.
Okay.
Oh!
Never have I known such darkness!
Oh, cruel body,
why must you tie me down?
Hey.
I'm stepping out. Do you need anything?
Will you listen to my poem?
Sure.
Thanks.
Oh, cruel body,
why must you tie me down?
I am but a bird
trying hard not to drown.
But you mock me with your weakness,
your treacherous deceit.
So my day turns to bleakness,
as I'm forced into defeat.
What did you think?
I recognize that you've...
written some words there.
Ah, sorry.
Did I just hear that you're stepping out?
Yes.
Well that's ludicrous.
No wait! At least let me get you a warmer jacket!
Why do our bodies fail us?
How can our life endeavours mean anything at all if we're ultimately just gonna get sick and die?
Oh no.
I feel an existential crisis coming on.
Just go on without me...
world.
How many times have I told you that you need to take your vitamins?
Ugh, not this again.
You have no one to blame but yourself.
Why won't you just let me feel?
Because feelings are for the weak.
Well, that's a problematic statement.
Oo! This is a banger!
Ha ha!
I knew you weren't actually sick!
Okay, could we all just get off my back please?
Right, well, I'm out of here.
Too many sick bodies in one room.
Hey everybody!
Lauren's not actually sick!
Hey, I am!
Did you not see how puffed out I just got?
That is not a regular occurrence for me on the d-floor, my friend.
I can't believe you'd lie to us like that!
What?!
I'm not lying!
Oh, the pain.
I made you chicken soup.
Aw!
Did you?
Yes.
Well that's really sweet. Thank you!
Too bad she's not really sick.
Don't you have somewhere better to be?
Quite likely,
but if I weren't here,
who would expose you?
Lauren.
Why'd you do it?
Why did you lie?
I didn't lie. I am actually sick.
I just also like dancing, like a regular human being does.
Is that a sin?
I'm sorry if it's a sin. Why does everyone always believe what Jessica says, anyway?
Because I never lie about anything. Ever.
Unlike you.
You liar.
Okay, please stop.
I can't believe she lied to us!
I know!
Uggghh!
Hey.
Can I talk to you about this text message that you sent in the group chat?
What text?
"Hey everyone, given that we're all sick,
I think it's fair that we keep to our rooms, sanitize before and after touching everything,
wear masks at all times, and if possible,
could you please wear full Personal Protective Equipment at all times?
Kind regards."
Okay whoa. You misread that last part, okay?
I didn't phrase it as a question. That would have left it way too open to rebellion.
It just seems, by the way that you phrased that text message,
that you don't really care about keeping the household peace,
which is more important than ever right now, cause we're all sick.
What do you mean?
Well,
being sick together means that we're suffering together, so we need to be there for one another.
This text seems really controlling.
Controlling? What?
I'm just setting clear standards for the household, so that we can all get better faster!
I don't understand how you don't see that.
You locked Ashley's bedroom door!
From the outside!
We all know she's the messiest!
That's not okay.
Alright fine. I'll get rid of the lock.
No need, boys and girls.
I'm free.
What?
How did you break the lock?
Pff! It wasn't me!
Then who was it?
What's up.
I didn't know you were here.
I thought you went to the gym.
I did.
Then Ashley texted me.
You really think you can lock up my friends in my own house, mate?
You went to the gym while you were sick?
Is that wise?
Please. I'm always sick when I go to the gym.
Okay, you guys are all standing way too close to each other.
Ooo...
you're not gonna like what I'm about to say then.
What are you about to say?
I invited twenty people over for a movie night tonight.
I'm sorry, you what?
You'd better be kidding.
Don't worry,
it'll be fine!
I'll get them all to wear masks!
I won't.
Yeah, none of us were buying that.
Your friends already wear masks anyway.
Or perhaps we all wear masks, Susan.
Okay, how did YOU get out of YOUR room?
You underestimate my lock-picking abilities.
My name isn't Susan.
You underestimate my ability to bi-locate.
Okay well, could you demonstrate your ability to
bioGRATE this cheese that I told you to grate?
Hey! You made a pun!
I have to tell everyone!
What have I done?
The No Fun One just made a pun!
Perhaps you'd say it was nicely done.
And just like, that the day's been won.
Water gun run, one-on-one?
She spun the bun in a tonne of sun.
Okay fine. I'll go back to bed.
Hey, are you off to work?
Not work. Just out.
While sick?
Yeah, while sick.
Okay. Well, before you go, can I just quickly talk to you about this text that you sent in the group chat
in response to the ESTJ?
What text?
"No, you swine. I didn't realize this was a house full of sheep.
Burn the masks.
Burn the protective gear.
Burn it all.
If we conform, we die.
Oh, and can someone please come and collect their washing?"
I don't see the issue.
All I want is a cup of tea, but people keep meeting in the hallway to talk.
It was a little insensitive, don't you think?
Ugh, why is this culture so obsessed with sensitivity?
I refuse to live in a house where my freedom of speech is not respected.
You have your freedom of speech,
but that doesn't mean that you can't use it to be respectful towards others and their opinions!
Well, I'm not going to respect an opinion that's stupid.
I just want a cup of teeeea.
But if I get stuck in conversation with someone, I honestly don't think I'll have the strength to face the rest of this day.
Now I understand the appeal of Harry Potter's invisibility cloak.
Who am I kidding? I've always understood the appeal.
What are you doing?
I'm removing your lock.
Oh no, leave it, please.
What?
Why?
Just...
leave it, please.
But then you won't be able to come out.
Yep.
Okay. Your choice.
Haha! Your Knight In Shining Armor is-
oh.
You're crying.
Well this is awkward.