Imagine it's late one night and you're laying in bed, resting after a hard day's work.
As you're trying to doze off to sleep though you think you hear the shuffling of tiny little
feet.
Peering curiously into the darkness, you can't seem to make anything out, and lay your head
back down to sleep.
But suddenly, there it is again- the quick pitter-patter of tiny little feet followed
by a mischievous snicker.
This time you're sure something's there, and as you bolt upright you spot it: there standing
atop the covers at the foot of your bed is the doll from hell itself: Chucky.
This pint-sized killer has been terrorizing us since the early 80s, when the soul of a
dying serial killer was transferred into the plastic body of an innocent looking doll.
Since then he has racked up an impressive murder count, with his preferred method of
killing being stabbing his victims to death with a large steak knife- although unlike
many monsters and killers we've featured before, Chucky doesn't mind setting up elaborate traps
for his victims, taking pleasure in their 'accidental' deaths.
So what exactly are you up against if you find yourself in a 1 on 1 deathmatch with
the infamous killer doll?
Out of all the monsters and killers we've put the average joe up against, Chucky is
unique in that he isn't overwhelmingly more powerful than the average person.
Chucky doesn't have special magical powers to sneak up on you, isn't stronger than most
people, or particularly speedy- although given his small stature he is pretty quick on his
feet and agile to boot, but certainly nothing approaching supernatural powers.
Chucky also doesn't have any dark or strange voodoo to bewitch you with.
Instead Chucky relies on the element of surprise, taking advantage of the fact that most of
the time he looks like nothing more than a friendly doll.
Lulling his victims into a false sense of security with his non-threatening outer appearance,
Chucky waits for the opportune time to strike before delivering a killing blow.
This means that if you come across any strange dolls you probably shouldn't bend over to
pick them up and inspect them up close- because although Chucky is usually inhabiting a “Good
Guy” doll, he does have the ability to jump into other dolls.
So this would be a good time to start eyeing your childhood mementos and stuffed teddy
bears with some serious suspicion.
Chucky's second biggest strength is his cleverness- typically we tell you to prepare elaborate
traps in order to overcome the physical or supernatural strengths of the enemies we've
covered before, however in this case it should be you who's aware of falling into one of
Chucky's traps.
This is probably the first foe we've faced where your main goal is going to be staying
out of any would-be traps while trying to avoid a miniature killer doll- no easy task.
Lastly, Chucky is incredibly resilient to damage of any kind.
Not only does the voodoo curse keep his spirit trapped in a doll or let him transfer into
other dolls, but it means that even destroying the doll itself is no guarantee of defeat.
You can do massive damage to Chucky's physical body, only to have the evil spirit return
later in another plastic body- and speaking of doing damage, you're going to be hard pressed
to do anything critically damaging to what is essentially a plastic doll.
Shoot an arm off?
He'll just pop it back on.
Melt his face- Chucky doesn't need eyes to see.
Blow him up into pieces- well, actually that might buy you some time, but again, he's going
to come back.
He always comes back.
So how are you going to defeat a pint-sized killer inhabiting a cheap plastic doll he
can simply leap out of and can lay elaborate traps which might incapacitate you long enough
for Chucky to transfer his soul into your body and yours into his doll?
This is going to be a battle that takes place in stages, and as always preparation is going
to be key.
First you want to make sure that you choose the battleground- as usual it's always better
to fight on the home turf, but it'll be especially important to deny Chucky the advantage of
setting up any kind of trap.
Knowing the terrain will let you immediately identify if something is out of place.
This also means though that you need to ensure you always remain aware of Chucky's location-
too many of his victims have made the mistake of letting him slip out of sight only to be
ambushed later.
To track Chucky's movements you're going to want to plan in advance and get your hands
on some cheap, easily purchasable acoustic and vibration detector alarms- Amazon has
a wide selection available right now which runs from as low as $6 up to several hundred.
But you don't have to break your bank to beat Chucky, just buy a dozen cheaper vibration
detectors and spread them out in the area around you.
As Chucky sprints around behind furniture and in the shadows his little footsteps will
set off the vibration detectors, letting you easily track his movements.
Now that you know where Chucky is, the question is how do you kill this midget murderer?
As mentioned before, we here at The Infographics Show often prefer problem solving through
superior firepower- but hitting a one foot-tall and very fast moving object is going to be
a challenge for even skilled sharpshooters.
A sawed-off 12 gauge shotgun is an appealing choice- the wide spread of the shotgun pellets
will give you a lot of room for error, and while useless at moderate to long ranges,
it is an incredibly devastating weapon at close range.
That sounds perfect- but Chucky's tiny body simply isn't going to be very affected even
if you turn it into swiss cheese.
A high-powered flame thrower is also an appealing option, but again- you're dealing with a foe
who will simply leave his melted plastic body and inhabit a new object, putting you at severe
disadvantage as you try and guess which random doll is now going to try and murder you.
For the first time in The Infographics Show's history, we're going to advocate for peace-
or at least not for outright obliteration.
You're goal isn't going to be to destroy Chucky, but rather to imprison him.
First, you need to make sure there are no suitable objects for Chucky to inhabit in
the vicinity- this is why picking your battlefield is so important.
Once you're sure that there's nowhere for Chucky's soul to flee to, you're going to
let him come to you- but again, with your alarm system set up so you're not surprised.
Chucky is ultimately still just a regular joe himself, simply trapped in the body of
a plastic doll.
So while he may be reluctant to come face you after knowing he can't get the element
of surprise, resorting to a few well-placed insults has been shown to be effective in
the past in raising his ire to murderous levels.
What seems to be particularly effective is insulting his now non-existent manhood- after
all, dolls don't have boy parts... although in at least one film this point was a little
bit... confused.
However you lure him out into the open, once sufficiently pissed off Chucky is going to
throw caution to the wind and come at you full murder mode.
Don't panic, this is exactly what you want- because unknown to Chucky, you've been prepared
the whole time with a handheld liquid nitrogen shooter.
That's right, you heard us correctly- in 2016 real-life X-man candidate Colin Furze built
a rig that shot liquid nitrogen from a backpack storage container through a palm-mounted device.
Shooting a stream of liquid nitrogen at -302 degrees Fahrenheit (-186 C), Furze's device
can instantly flash-freeze any object in range, and in this case it'll be Chucky's tiny little
plastic body.
So now you have a frozen murder doll that's as fragile as glass- you're going to be tempted
just to smash the damn thing to pieces, but again remember that if the body is destroyed,
Chucky will just come back.
Instead it's time to get creative with Chucky's ultimate fate.
First, you're going to remove his limbs to ensure Chucky can't get away or manipulate
objects, leaving him as just a head on a body.
Unable to use his hands or feet, Chucky won't be running anywhere and he won't be able to
perform the voodoo ritual that lets him jump into a new host.
Then, simply hire a boat and transport the tiny arm-less and leg-less killer to a deep
spot in the ocean- we recommend Litke Deep in the Eurasian Basin of the Arctic Ocean.
Unlike many other oceans, the Arctic Ocean isn't as heavily fished by drag netting- the
practice of lowering nets to the sea floor and scouring the ocean bottom for fish, which
might accidentally end up getting Chucky into someone's net and possibly somehow letting
him find a new body.
We want to make sure nobody ever sees Chucky again- so the 17,880 feet (5,450 m) of the
Litke Deep is our best bet.
And there you have it- you've defeated your tiny tormentor and ensured a killer-doll free
future for the rest of humanity.
Pat yourself on the back, you deserve it.
Now, go watch our other videos in our YOU vs series.
Up first we suggest, you vs freddy kreuger!
Come on, click it!